XPost: alt.conspiracy, alt.conspiracy.microsoft, alt.conspiracy.right-wing   
   XPost: alt.fan.art-bell, alt.military.air-cadets, alt.military.uk   
   From: drorer@fuse.net   
      
   require specs of helmet please!!   
   "Joe Biffel"  wrote in message   
   news:xYb6i.228061$6m4.86177@pd7urf1no...   
   > I am selling a home built Time Machine. Comes with all specifications,   
   > instruction manual (in pdf format), spare parts and a cup holder. I've   
   > only   
   > used it 2 times, and I have no desire to alter the history nor the future,   
   > thus I want to get rid of this curse I had built in my mom's basement 1   
   > year   
   > ago. The project begun 4 years ago with my friend Raymond Basoon who used   
   > to   
   > work at Area 51 and is currently employed at JPL. We both have degrees in   
   > engineering, interior design, strong typing skills and janitorial   
   > expertise.   
   > When employed at Area 51, Raymond was an assistant to the surgeon general   
   > during 7 Alien autopsies, and also reverse engineered 2 types of crashed   
   > extra terrestrial, cigar shaped aircraft. I had worked at JPL as well,   
   > having been assigned to a crucial position in the mail room. After hours   
   > of   
   > collaboration, Raymond and I concocted plans to built a Time Machine. One   
   > unit only. It is built of Titanium, stainless steel and rubber. The   
   > complex   
   > mathematics needed to calculate various time distortion cycles and   
   > dimension   
   > warps are handled by an onboard computer mounted at eye level. The time   
   > and   
   > date is punched in using a standart telephone numeric pad. Power is   
   > generated from 30 electric motors that have been removed from 10 spd   
   > blenders. The traveler is enclosed in a plastic/tin foil cockpit to   
   > prevent   
   > various dimension radiation waves and time travel fallout dust. The frame   
   > holds a comfortable polyester chair. The unit also includes a CD Player   
   > and   
   > 3 speakers. This unit is INCREDIBLE! If you want to wintess your own   
   > birth,   
   > the murder of your uncle or the opening of Expo '86, this delicate, high   
   > tech instrument will blow your mind. I'm not sure this type of technology   
   > is   
   > legal therefore before you buy you have to sign a waver of confidence and   
   > secrecy. I just want to be safe from the CIA and the NSA. If you like to   
   > travel,   
   > the ultimate trip is waiting for you in my garage. SERIOUS replies only   
   > please. If you are interested in the purchase please send a statement of   
   > good health and eye sight signed by your doctor. WE DO NOT DELIVER.   
   > Knowledge of Martial Arts helpfull when travelling. Please reply if you   
   > are   
   > interested in the purchase.   
   >   
   > Price  $59, 000   
   > 3 day warranty.   
   > Free bumper sticker   
   > 2 hour tutorial   
   > I'll also throw in my helmet.   
   >   
   > Reply to Joe Biffel.   
   >   
   > Disclaimer..... Joe Biffel or Raymond Basoon are not in any way   
   > responsible   
   > for any harm that might come to the travellers way while in the past or   
   > the   
   > future. The potential traveller must remember that during the passing   
   > times,   
   > society and culture has changed in many ways and this might impact the   
   > perception of yourself by others. We suggest that you research the time   
   > era   
   > you're about to travel to thoroughly and dress appropriately to avoid   
   > suspision and trouble.   
   >   
   >   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)