From: evil@online.com   
      
   i had an out-of-body experience while i was awake.   
   it was sort of like an nde because   
   while out of body i realized i had   
   a choice of going back to my body   
   and finishing my life or not.   
   i was healthy and happy and sober   
   at the time, not having ever taken   
   drugs or medications or anything.   
   obviously i decided to come back.   
   one thing i remember is that the walls   
   were transparent energy, and that for   
   a moment i became aware of the very   
   nature and purpose of that energy.   
   another thing i remember is looking   
   inside my head.   
   as strange as it may seem, i actually   
   witnessed my own brain dreaming   
   while i was not in my body.   
   i also remember seeing a lot of what   
   people call angels, or luminescent beings.   
   all i can say about that is that there is much   
   joy in heaven (or wherever those angels are).   
   when i realized that if i did not go back   
   to my body i would die, i sort of panicked   
   and in my enthusiasm to get back into   
   my body, i shot off the recliner, flew   
   across the room and hit the wall,   
   which broke my neck and caused   
   me to have another obe.   
   just kidding about that last part  : )   
   anyway, i seem to have had a life full   
   of bizarre experiences, and i imagine   
   most people think i'm a bit odd, so i   
   don't usually talk about them.   
   after i tell people about a couple weird   
   things that have happened to me, they   
   sort of give me a funny look and don't   
   inquire about the rest, as if they're afraid   
   of me, or what i have to say.   
   i realize that a person can become   
   fixated by these kind of events in their   
   life, so much so that they can miss out   
   on what else life has to offer.   
   i am working on something, but it's   
   very difficult.   
   i call it fundamental change.   
   what is the difference between one   
   entity's awareness and another?   
   what causes this difference?   
   what causes a person's level of   
   awareness, and what they are   
   capable of, to increase?   
   what controls the rate of increase?   
   what can one do, or not do, to   
   cause a fundamental change in   
   one's awareness?   
   incarnating works, forcing oneself   
   to experience physical life first hand,   
   one will become aware of nature,   
   of one's nature and relationship.   
   but what is the difference between   
   a life well-lived, and a life wasted?   
   no life is a waste, but some lives   
   cause a greater fundamental change   
   in a person.   
   no one really goes down, or backwards,   
   or from being fundamentally ahead to   
   fundamentally behind.   
   those who really have, have, and will   
   have more.   
   those who appear to lose, just never   
   really had it, they looked good for a   
   while, but couldn't maintain it, they   
   were not fundamentally where they   
   thought they were.   
   there is no judgment there.   
   i realize that my abilities are very   
   limited compared to many.   
   but what to do to really move ahead,   
   to facilitate oneself, to be able to see   
   what one currently cannot see?   
   to not think about, to just live, to   
   forget about anything but living itself,   
   to just plow ahead doing what life   
   demands, and what most people   
   seem to be doing, keeping busy,   
   finding ways to keep busy, making   
   plans, saving, building, organizing,   
   whatever it takes to have a square   
   meal, a place to sleep, for oneself   
   and one's loved ones.   
   eventually one begins to question.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)