XPost: sci.skeptic, sci.physics   
   From: jhc@catholic.religion.com   
      
   dunric@yahoo.com wrote in news:1131267799.026419.39810   
   @g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:   
      
   > "Absolved Creshtivism in Altered States of Consciousness and Being"   
   > By: Paul Panks (dunric@yahoo.com)   
   >   
   > The unusual belief that light, rocks and trees have inner intelligence   
   > -- known as "Absolved Creshtivism" -- is a relatively new idea that is   
   > just gaining acceptance in wider scientific and mystical circles.   
      
   Really?   Gee, cite a credible peer-reviewed scientific research paper   
   that demonstrates acceptance, so we can read ALLLLLL about it.   
      
   > Albert Einstein postulated that Energy = Mass. Indeed, mass IS energy,   
   > just slowed down to become matter.   
      
   Energy doesn't have a speed - how does it slow down, exactly?   
      
   Be specific.  Use lots of maths and physics formulae.  Scrawl a diagram   
   using crayons then scan and post to alt.binaries.pictures.crazy-bastard.   
      
   > But the mere thought of light itself   
   > possessing a form of inner intelligence -- well, that's nonsense to a   
   > lot of people. Absolved Creshtivism is not easily believed.   
      
   You're right.  It's not believable at all.   
      
   > You can observe light's inner intelligence merely by looking at it   
   > through a prism -- light goes to different hues and shades of color as   
   > it is split apart across the visible spectrum.   
      
   Yes..   
      
   > When light is split, it   
   > can communicate with other particles of light merely by merging with   
   > them.   
      
   .. sort of ..   
      
   > And every particle of light, itself, has intelligence within,   
   > too.   
      
   .. uh, no.   
      
   > When the human body ceases to function, a cosmic energy leaves it.   
      
   Wow, REALLY?!! Gee, mister, you should go to James Randi's website and   
   claim the US$1,000,000 since you can prove a supernatural ability or   
   observation like this!!!!!!!   
      
      
   > This   
   > is often called the "spirit being." This light returns to God, which is   
   > the source of all energy in the Universe (and beyond). What we find   
   > when we look at light is not only abundant intelligence, but energy   
   > bound by love. That's right -- light IS love personified.   
      
   uh, riiiight.   
      
   I'm sure the electricity company will be delighted to hear your   
   salespitch.   
      
   "heres your bill for the last quarter's love. with tax".   
      
      
   > Artificial light is a subset of the darker light spectrum. Because it   
   > is also generating light, it, too, has intelligence within. That light   
   > bulb you just replaced had intelligence inside it. Remarkable to think   
   > that a simple light bulb can have a minute fraction of intellect   
   > inside.   
      
      
   how many spirit beings does it take to screw in a lightbulb?   
      
   two.      but only if turned on.   
      
      
   > Because light is also used often to encode data (for computers), the   
   > mediums which carry the data contained within the light itself   
   > harnesses individualized units of intelligence within the substrates of   
   > the medianic layer.   
      
   'medianic'? wow - that IS a real word?!   
      
   > In other words, that CD-ROM or DVD you have of Aunt   
   > Betty on her Florida cruise has intelligence inside it. Those "0s" and   
   > "1s" are intelligent merely by default (as they were stored with a kind   
   > of intense light -- laser).   
      
   so when I erase the disk I'm killing intelligence?  what about when I   
   duplicate it,  are they twins?   when i merge twins is that incest?   do   
   i have to keep a stud-book for my cd's now?   
      
   please send advice!   
      
      
   > And because light has intelligence, you can never truly destroy   
   > computer data (or any event in time, as it remains within the   
   > vibrations of the Universe itself).   
      
   uh, riiiiight.   next time you delete a file, remember to ask the   
   universe for your backup.   
      
   > And the Universe keeps tabs on this   
   > (and other) data via the Akashic Records. The energy we send out into   
   > the Universe is recorded by the Universe itself. Angels, light beings   
   > and even God tap into this energy from time to time.   
      
   We all go into the great Cosmic god-battery, huh?  Sounds like 'the   
   matrix' was right.  Guess that means the energizer bunny's out of a job!   
      
      
      
   Will they start making Cosmic god-battery devices any time soon?   
      
   Cosmic god-battery Electric drills?  Cosmic god-battery Blenders?  Cosmic   
   god-battery Washing machines?  Cosmic god-battery Electric toothbrushes?   
      
   Cosmic god-battery Dildos?   Guess that would explain all the 'oh god, oh   
   god'.....   
      
      
      
   > Edgar Cayce was a   
   > master at "trancing" into such altered states of divine consciousness.   
      
   Uh huh. Strangely, he appeared to look EXACTLY like a 1900's quack.   
   Funny, that.   
      
   > When Jesus of Nazareth perished on the cross in 27 A.D., the very event   
   > itself was recorded in the Akashic Records of every soul existant on   
   > earth. So momumental was this event that the very light particles on   
   > the Shroud of Turin produced a permanent photographic negative of his   
   > entire body, front and back. Over time, this energy has faded due to   
   > the Earth elements naturally surrounding it. But it remains, as it was,   
   > even today -- etched by the light particles emanating from within Jesus   
   > himself. It was, after all, the world's first known photograph.   
      
   Actually, since I was starkers, it was the worlds first NUDE photograph.   
      
   woo hoo! yay me!   
      
      
   > Because we are composed of intelligent light within, we can harness   
   > this capacity to know and learn merely by channeling this energy into   
   > appropriate channels of use. We can learn, with the proper techniques,   
   > the contents of entire books merely by sleeping on them.   
      
   I tried that.   
      
   I was lying on "back pain remedies for dummies" - but all I got was a   
   pain in the back.   
      
      
   > We can also   
   > telepathically communicate with other life entities simply by thinking   
   > of them across vast distances of time and space.   
      
   Can.. you.. read.. me.. I'm.. thinking.. you're.. a.. nutter..   
      
   > We can teleport objects across rooms (and across the world) rather   
   > easily --   
      
   Good. SEND BEER!   
      
   > and all it takes is changing the internal light structure   
   > composed within the human body. For all a body really is is energy   
   > personified. Even the cells within our very bodies are composed of   
   > micro variations of light particles, vibrating at incredible speeds.   
      
   "micro variations of light particles vibrating at incredible speeds", eh?   
      
      
   "Captain to engineering, vibrate to incredible speed!"   
      
     "But we're already vibrating AT incredible speed, Captain."   
      
   "Aww, shit."   
      
      
   Send it to the Nobel committee, cos you've on a winner!   
      
   Either that, or you're barking crazy.   
      
   > The next time you see Star Trek on television, try not to think of it   
   > so much as science fiction as science fact. For all we are, really, is   
   > light slowed down to matter.   
      
   There is, of course the alternative *tiny* possibility that you're a   
   bloody loony.  Like, 100%.   
      
   if you have meds, take them.    if you dont, put your analyst on danger   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)