XPost: talk.politics.guns, alt.fan.marty.the.gay.pigboy, alt.bui   
   ding.health-safety   
   XPost: alt.rv   
   From: trump-2020@alt.net   
      
   Only 16 days to the first presidential debate, and Dementia Joe   
   Biden is resting up this weekend after a hard week of hitting   
   the road, Jack.   
      
   Only one problem for Joe: Whenever he ventures outside his   
   basement, he often loses stuff — his mind, his train of thought   
   or at least his notes.   
      
   All dialogue guaranteed verbatim:   
      
   “I carry with me — I don’t have it. I gave it, I gave it to my   
   staff. I carry it with me in my pocket a — do I have that around   
   anyone? Where’s my staff? I gave it away anyway …”   
      
   He must have found something, because soon he began reading — or   
   trying to read — some statistics. Numbers are not Dementia Joe’s   
   forte, to put it mildly.   
      
   This day, he kept repeating the word “military.” But the actual   
   virus numbers were for Michigan, the state he was in, in   
   addition to his perpetual state of confusion.   
      
   Perhaps his handlers wrote “MI,” assuming that even someone as   
   simple as Joe Biden could put two and two together. If so, they   
   were misinformed.   
      
   “U.S. COVID-infected military uh excuse me U.S. COVID-infected   
   in America, six thousand 344,700 U.S. COVID deaths one thousand   
   189,506. Military COVID-infected 118,984. Military COVID deaths   
   6114.”   
      
   Actually, Mr. Vice President, the military’s death toll is   
   exactly seven. The fatalities in Michigan, where you were   
   babbling, is actually closer to that six-thousand figure.   
      
   Way off, but this is a guy who’s earlier pegged the number of   
   deaths in the panic as 120 million (at the time it was 120,000).   
      
   He has also claimed that 150,000,000 Americans have been killed   
   by firearms since 2007, but let’s move on to his proposals for   
   tax rates.   
      
   “If you change the tax rate it went from 38 percent to 21. If   
   you just send it back to 20 uh — 38%, um, if you — 36% to 28,   
   that’s what we started trying to do.”   
      
   When Slow Joe is up there on that debate stage in Cleveland, it   
   will be must-see TV, if only to hear his positions on assorted   
   issues at that particular moment.   
      
   Remember: Biden was against fracking before he was for fracking.   
   He was for mandatory masks before he was against mandatory   
   masks. He was for defunding the police before he was against   
   defunding the police. He was against the Chinese travel ban   
   before he was for it.   
      
   Even in his addled state, though, Joe remains sentient enough to   
   understand what they’re saying about him — that he’s losing his   
   mind, that he can’t even answer questions without a Teleprompter.   
      
   “I mean, this idea of you know, Slow Joe … .” (Chuckles a little   
   too long and too loudly.) “I — anyway I I shouldn’t about it   
   because uh anyway … .”   
      
   That should put the rumors to rest, Mr. Vice President.   
      
   It was quite a week for Joe out there in the battleground   
   states. He talked about the rising price of “prescription jugs”   
   (did he mean drugs?).   
      
   Citing one of this week’s alt-left talking points, Biden claimed   
   President Trump was aware of the problem with the virus.   
      
   “He knew and purfusly played it down.”   
      
   Let’s go straight to the audiotape for a few more of Joe’s bold   
   policy prescriptions during his brief foray outside the basement   
   this week:   
      
   “Bottom line, Mr. President: do your job. Get off your galk   
   course and out of the sand bunker.”   
      
   “And the jobs of hundreds of thousands of American workers, the   
   lifebud of communities all across the Midwest — if you reshore   
   jobs that have been pres – that have presently previously been   
   sent overseas.”   
      
   “When I was senator and vice president there were plenty of   
   econot economists that I had around me.”   
      
   “We have to keep the House of Representatives and the United   
   States Senate.” (Actually, the GOP controls the Senate.)   
      
   “If I were president that’s what I’d do and I’d get it done like   
   previous precedents presidents.”   
      
   Practically none of this Biden babbling ever makes the network   
   newscasts, because the “reporters” are all Democrat   
   stenographers with press passes. The campaign seems to permit no   
   questions except from those card-carrying comrades reliably in   
   the satchel.   
      
   Before “taking questions” from the fellow travelers, Joe either   
   gets a list of the common nightwalkers, or his aides call on the   
   Pravda press to regurgitate some inane set-up question.   
      
   Still, Joe gets confused, often looking to the side, staring at   
   his aides/nurses for direction.   
      
   “I guess, are you calling on people or how am I — I don’t have a   
   list so you go ahead and call.”   
      
   Yes, it will be great TV when Biden takes the stage with Trump.   
      
   If Joe’s being given his answers to recite via an earpiece, the   
   Trump campaign will jam those transmissions. If Biden is allowed   
   a Teleprompter (doubtful), the president will sneak up behind   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)