XPost: alt.slack, alt.cars, alt.drunken.bastards   
   XPost: alt.law-enforcement   
   From: dogegoops@comcast.net   
      
   You seriously need to print and market a "My other car is a meat wagon"   
   bumper sticker.   
      
   "HellPope Huey"  wrote in message   
   news:NoRestraint-F95DA9.01182428122004@news1.west.earthlink.net...   
   >   
   >  I miraculously survived both the 3-story apartment building 200 feet   
   > from mine burning to the ground last Monday and the vicious ice storm   
   > that caught me around the soft parts Wednesday as I hied my ass to the   
   > highway for an Xmas trip to the dear-but-not-so-near 80 miles yonder,   
   > having last seen only a report of light snow on the way. It wasn't all   
   > schnapps & skittles, oh no. A 1.5 hour trip became a 4-hour exercise in   
   > fruitless cursing and prayers to Crom. Praise my car, which handled the   
   > ordeal beyond the point of no return like a champ.   
   >   
   > While enjoying the tooth-gritting pleasure of doing 35 mph and LESS in   
   > 2nd gear over increasingly dangerous and hilly roads, I was treated to   
   > the vision of a woman sliding out of control about 400 feet ahead of me.   
   > She was promptly hit by a semi behind her, once in the trunk, then a   
   > second time, which spun her around mightily and half-crushed the front   
   > side of the car. This sent both sliding into the grassy median.   
   >   
   > Her head was leaning back on the headrest, the driver's side glass   
   > knocked out completely. I'm sure she was not doing it because she was   
   > enraptured by the musical stylings of the Red Hot Chili Peppers on the   
   > radio. There is a certain look to the departed and she had it.   
   >   
   > Having no cell phone -and I'm damned well going to acquire one of some   
   > sort NOW- I was fortunate to skirt the mess and kept going, as   
   > clambering across a frozen highway with no cell or medical gear seemed   
   > foolish when the semi had not rolled over and almost surely contained a   
   > still-capable driver with a radio intact. Likewise, at least 40% of   
   > those behind me statistically had phones, so risking mangling or death   
   > under those terms had a poor cost/benefit ratio.   
   >   
   > The next day, the news reported that she had indeed snuffed it.   
   > T.h.e.m. does not mention it often, but side collisions often result in   
   > broken necks. The serious sound I heard through closed windows would   
   > support that idea in this instance. TV and movie violence is presented   
   > as elegant, exciting; in reality, its simply a flat crack and some   
   > crumpling that heralds no glamour whatsoever.   
   >   
   > That's the 3rd collision I have seen that resulted in deaths. The first   
   > was when I walked out of my radio station at 3 a.m. just in time to see   
   > 3 joyriders wrap their VW around a tree in a quite-final fashion. The   
   > 2nd was on the Gulf Freeway in Houston, where a very noisy altercation   
   > between 3 vehicles left an actual whole ARM visible 2 lanes over from   
   > me. Its owner was not nearly as close to it as he or she surely would   
   > have preferred.   
   >   
   > I always wear my seatbelt like it was a personal gift from Buddha and   
   > had The Antidote To All Things Bad in it. In a sense, it does, at least   
   > part of the time. I don't need to be flung through the window at high   
   > speed to grasp the concept of becoming a human version of 3rd base or   
   > dead if I become too complacent about what it can mean. All I have to do   
   > is remember seeing three guys oozing pink froth as firefighters pried   
   > them from that VW or that detached arm on the freeway to make it seem   
   > like a truly swell idea.   
   >   
   > My balls leapt into my throat so hard when I saw this unfold, it left 2   
   > dents you could rest lemons in. God rest the cops who have to confront   
   > these events. I'm still alive, with all of my limbs intact, concerning   
   > which I am both further sobered and grateful. The click of that harness   
   > as you set out on your journies and 15 miles per hour less inertia can   
   > mean everything in a pinch.   
   >   
   > Ask not for whom the bell tolls, because sometimes its not a bell....   
   > its the sudden sound of metal versus metal and all you are, all you held   
   > dear and all of those who held you dear simultaneously disappearing on   
   > sudden, dark wings.   
   >   
   > --   
   >   
   > HellPope Huey   
   >   People applauded rather than throwing fruit.   
   >   I take this as a good sign.   
   >   
   >   Infinite goodness   
   >    is creating a being you know, in advance,   
   >     is going to complain.   
   >       - William Peter Blatty, "Ninth Configuration"   
   >   
   >   "Does the noise in my head bother you,   
   >      bother you, bother you, bother you?"   
   >           - Loop Guru, "Loop Bites Dog"   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)