9e7896dd
XPost: alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk, alt.usenet.kooks, re
.aviation.military
From: godsspeciallamb@gmail.com
Dear, "frank": Do you like me? Please check a box ( ) YES ( ) NO:
>
> Ya know, I find it ironic your gripe about 'grammatically
>correct', considering some of your spelling. Not 'wonce', but several
>times.......... :)
I'm trying to find the joke here, but I just don't see it. Somewon help
me out here.
>
>On Jan 30, 3:57 am, Wavy G wrote:
>> OK ladies and gents, as of today I have a "situation" with my local
>> Kroger's shopping market. Please, I Need everywon's undivided attention
>> and total support in backing me on this. Here's the story: Today I went
>> to my local Kroger's to purchase some "Liquid Plumber" to fix my clogged
>> toilet, (I clogged it up by trying to cram too much toilet paper and
>> poop down the hole at wonce), and all I needed was that item, and that
>> item only. I think I purchased the off-brand, but that's not the point.
>> I digress.
>>
>> Ok, so we know this much: there are about fifteen thousand lanes at
>> Kroger's, and usually only two "express lanes," right? You know the
>> wons where you have to have "12 items or less" (side note: Why is the
>> expression "12 items or less," when actually, "12 items or fewer" would
>> be grammatically correct? What are we teaching our children?). And you
>> know that if you have fewer than 12 items, and you don't get in the
>> express lane, you end up standing behind "the Little Old Lady Who Lived
>> in a Shoe" stocking up for the winter to feed all those damn kids. And
>> all you really want is a case of beer...oh and how about a pack of
>> "Juicy Fruit" while you're here...oh and perhaps that latest issue of
>> Star magazine, right? I digress.
>>
>> Anyway, "Well," I say to myself, "I ain't a sucker--I'll go to won of
>> the convenient and time-saving 'express lanes' that the wonderful people
>> at Kroger's shopping market have provided for me, the jaunty American
>> consumer." Well I had won item, and that's fewer than 12, right? So I
>> go to queue up in won of the so-called express lanes, only to discover
>> that there was only WON express lane! And it was closed!!! The sign
>> hanging over the contiguous lane said "Express Lane," but get this: It
>> was a "U-SCAN"! I refuse to use U-SCANs on account of the cashiers are
>> PAID to scan my groceries. I'm not! I'm paying you good money; I'll be
>> damned if I'm gonna do your job. So now what do I do??? THE ONLY
>> FUNCTIONING EXPRESS LANE WAS A FRIGGING U-SCAN!!!!1!1 I DON'T THINK SO.
>>
>> So I waited several minutes in line behind the loud-mouth hillbilly
>> woman and her dirty children, uncomfortably listening to her ramble on
>> in garbled English about whatever the hell happened to be on her
>> mind--which she apparently had no problem with sharing with total
>> strangers--as her children screamed and tore magazines apart. This is
>> how strongly I feel about not using "U-SCAN."
>>
>> So here I am, a faithful, attractive, life-long Kroger's customer put
>> into a situation. A SITUATION, GOD-DARNIT! Please, fellow countrymen,
>> I need your help in boycotting the Kroger's shopping market. I'll put
>> these inconveniencing tyrants out of business if it's the last thing I
>> do. I bid you peace.
>>
>> PS: My toilet is now working like a champ!
>>
>> --
>> Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.
>>
>> *****************************************
>> * *
>> * Wavy G *
>> * mail me at: *
>> * godsspeciall...@gmail.com *
>> * *
>> * *
>> *****************************************
--
Mimus hasn't written anything funny about me lately.
*****************************************
* *
* Wavy G *
* mail me at: *
* godsspeciallamb@gmail.com *
* *
* *
*****************************************
--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)
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