XPost: alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk, alt.usenet.kooks, re   
   .aviation.military   
   XPost: alt.tv.sopranos, alt.punk   
   From: godsspeciallamb@gmail.com   
      
   Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me?  Please check a box ( ) YES  ( ) NO:   
   >Wavy G wrote:   
   >   
   >> Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me?  Please check a box ( ) YES  ( ) NO:   
   >>>Wavy G wrote:   
   >>>   
   >>>> Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me?  Please check a box ( ) YES  ( )   
   >>>> NO:   
   >>>>>Wavy G wrote:   
   >>>>>   
   >>>>>> Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me?  Please check a box ( ) YES  ( )   
   >>>>>> NO:   
   >>>>>>>Wavy G wrote:   
   >>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> Guess what?  (Well, you probably already know from the subject   
   >>>>>>>> line, but anyway...)  Last night, I had a dream I met Mr. T!  It   
   >>>>>>>> was great! Well, it started out great.  Then it kind of downgraded   
   >>>>>>>> from there.  He was over at my parents' house, (for some reason),   
   >>>>>>>> and I went over there and saw him out in the garage working on his   
   >>>>>>>> van.  I was like, "Hey, Mr. T! I was your biggest fan when I was a   
   >>>>>>>> kid!" And I ran up and gave him a big hug, and I was like "Do you   
   >>>>>>>> wanna hang out today?"   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> He said, "Mr. T loves his fans!"  So and but we ended up hanging   
   >>>>>>>> out together.  What a dream come true for me (well, not really; as   
   >>>>>>>> it turns out, it was actually a dream all along).   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> So we were hanging out, Mr. T and me, and I was trying to show him   
   >>>>>>>> how much I loved him, so I kept quoting old lines from "The   
   >>>>>>>> A-Team," so he would know I was for real.  Mr. T was impressed.   
   >>>>>>>> He was like, "Most people don't even know those lines!"   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> I said, "Yeah, I bet everybody probably says 'I pity the fool' all   
   >>>>>>>> the time, right?"   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> He was like, "YEAH, everybody says that.  I get real tired of that   
   >>>>>>>> line!"  (Imagine Mr. T yelling everything he says, 'cause that's   
   >>>>>>>> what it was like.)   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> And I was like, "Yeah, most people probably wouldn't even know   
   >>>>>>>> that line isn't even from 'The A-Team."   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> He said, "Yeah, that was from 'Rocky III'!"   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> I said, "Yeah!  'Rocky III'!"  It was great.  We were really   
   >>>>>>>> connecting, Mr. T. and me.   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> Well apparently, the whole time he was hanging out with me, Mr. T   
   >>>>>>>> must have thought I was a kid.  Because at won point, he found out   
   >>>>>>>> I was an adult, and he got kind of peeved at me and said, "I   
   >>>>>>>> thought you said you was a kid!"   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> I was kind of taken aback.  I said, "No, I said I was your biggest   
   >>>>>>>> fan when I was a kid.  I'm not a kid anymore.  I'm a 30 year old   
   >>>>>>>> man." After that, his whole attitude towards me changed.  He only   
   >>>>>>>> seemed to like me when he thought I was a kid.  (Why did he think   
   >>>>>>>> I was a kid, anyway?)   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> I said, "I thought you loved your fans."   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> He said, "Mr. T got no time for grown men!  Mr. T. loves his   
   >>>>>>>> little brothers and sisters, not some 30 year old man!"   
   >>>>>>>> (Apparently this took place a year ago, because I am actually 31.)   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> After a while, I think I really started getting on his nerves,   
   >>>>>>>> 'cause I kept on quoting "A-Team" lines, like, "We're takin' the   
   >>>>>>>> job, Hannibal!" and "I ain't gettin' on no plane!"  It was really   
   >>>>>>>> funny (at least, I thought it was funny), but he started getting   
   >>>>>>>> really mad at me.   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> I guess in my dreamlike state, I must've thought that in Mr. T's   
   >>>>>>>> life, there must always be that somebody acting "zany" to offset   
   >>>>>>>> his gruff demeanor, and to be his comic foil--à la, the "Murdock"   
   >>>>>>>> to his "B.A." So I really thought I was doing the right thing   
   >>>>>>>> here, people.   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> Anyway, he was busy trying to work on his van, and I just kept   
   >>>>>>>> talking like him, and I could tell his blood pressure was really   
   >>>>>>>> rising.  Then I said won of my favourite lines: "You got a choice,   
   >>>>>>>> Jack.  You either talk...Or you HURT!" and he totally flipped out   
   >>>>>>>> and started yelling at me!   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> He said, "I'm gettin' tired of you talkin' like me, fool!  Cut it   
   >>>>>>>> out, or I'll knock you out!"   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> So I said, "No, you cut it out!  Or I'll knock YOU out!"   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> And he was like "QUIT MOCKIN' ME, SUCKA!"   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> So I said, "NO, YOU QUIT MOCKIN' ME, SUCKA!"   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> And then he said "CUT IT OUT!  I'M THE REAL MR. T!"   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> So I said, "NO, I'M THE REAL MR. T."   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> And then he lost it.  He got up and chased after me with his tire   
   >>>>>>>> iron, and that's when I woke up.  So anyway, sorry this story had   
   >>>>>>>> no point.   
   >>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>Such a letdown.  I was all excited reading this story and ~this~ is   
   >>>>>>>how it ends?!?  Sheesh...   
   >>>>>>   
   >>>>>> Sorry, dude.  I have no control over my subconscious.   
   >>>>>   
   >>>>>Try some weird drugs as an experiment.  Perhaps you can obtain lucid   
   >>>>>dreaming.  Speaking of which, I'd ~love~ to have a lucid dream.  Oh,   
   >>>>>the fun.   
   >>>>   
   >>>> DON'T DO DRUGS!  DRUGS ARE FOR FOOLS!   
   >>>   
   >>>But, I could do some drugs and have a dream that you were having a lucid   
   >>>dream, too.  We wound sit and laugh and eat massive amounts of pizza and   
   >>>make fun of all the other people we knew were not having lucid dreams   
   >>>because we didn't want them to know, which we could do because since we   
   >>>were having a lucid dream, we could dream anything we wanted.  Oh, the   
   >>>fun it would be.   
   >>   
   >> Yeah.  Well...I'll just be over by this stuff over here.  Nice talking   
   >> to you, though...   
   >   
   >We are dreaming this conversation.  It's not over.  I'm standing right next   
   >to that stuff, too.  Can't you see me?   
      
   Yes, and...oh God!  I'm not wearing any pants!   
   --   
   "If you don't get slapped, you're not doing it right."   
    --Tim Weaver gives me the best dating advice I've ever had.   
   (PS: Apologies to Mimus.)   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)