XPost: alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk, alt.usenet.kooks, re   
   .aviation.military   
   XPost: alt.tv.sopranos, alt.punk   
   From: godsspeciallamb@gmail.com   
      
   Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me?  Please check a box ( ) YES  ( ) NO:   
   >Wavy G wrote:   
   >   
   >> Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me?  Please check a box ( ) YES  ( ) NO:   
   >>>Wavy G wrote:   
   >>>   
   >>>> Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me?  Please check a box ( ) YES  ( )   
   >>>> NO:   
   >>>>>Wavy G wrote:   
   >>>>>   
   >>>>>> Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me?  Please check a box ( ) YES  ( )   
   >>>>>> NO:   
   >>>>>>>Wavy G wrote:   
   >>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> Dear, "Tim Weaver": Do you like me?  Please check a box ( ) YES  (   
   >>>>>>>> ) NO:   
   >>>>>>>>>Wavy G wrote:   
   >>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> Guess what?  (Well, you probably already know from the subject   
   >>>>>>>>>> line, but anyway...)  Last night, I had a dream I met Mr. T!  It   
   >>>>>>>>>> was great! Well, it started out great.  Then it kind of   
   >>>>>>>>>> downgraded from there.  He was over at my parents' house, (for   
   >>>>>>>>>> some reason), and I went over there and saw him out in the   
   >>>>>>>>>> garage working on his van.  I was like, "Hey, Mr. T! I was your   
   >>>>>>>>>> biggest fan when I was a kid!" And I ran up and gave him a big   
   >>>>>>>>>> hug, and I was like "Do you wanna hang out today?"   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> He said, "Mr. T loves his fans!"  So and but we ended up hanging   
   >>>>>>>>>> out together.  What a dream come true for me (well, not really;   
   >>>>>>>>>> as it turns out, it was actually a dream all along).   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> So we were hanging out, Mr. T and me, and I was trying to show   
   >>>>>>>>>> him how much I loved him, so I kept quoting old lines from "The   
   >>>>>>>>>> A-Team," so he would know I was for real.  Mr. T was impressed.   
   >>>>>>>>>> He was like, "Most people don't even know those lines!"   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> I said, "Yeah, I bet everybody probably says 'I pity the fool'   
   >>>>>>>>>> all the time, right?"   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> He was like, "YEAH, everybody says that.  I get real tired of   
   >>>>>>>>>> that line!"  (Imagine Mr. T yelling everything he says, 'cause   
   >>>>>>>>>> that's what it was like.)   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> And I was like, "Yeah, most people probably wouldn't even know   
   >>>>>>>>>> that line isn't even from 'The A-Team."   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> He said, "Yeah, that was from 'Rocky III'!"   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> I said, "Yeah!  'Rocky III'!"  It was great.  We were really   
   >>>>>>>>>> connecting, Mr. T. and me.   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> Well apparently, the whole time he was hanging out with me, Mr.   
   >>>>>>>>>> T must have thought I was a kid.  Because at won point, he found   
   >>>>>>>>>> out I was an adult, and he got kind of peeved at me and said, "I   
   >>>>>>>>>> thought you said you was a kid!"   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> I was kind of taken aback.  I said, "No, I said I was your   
   >>>>>>>>>> biggest fan when I was a kid.  I'm not a kid anymore.  I'm a 30   
   >>>>>>>>>> year old man." After that, his whole attitude towards me   
   >>>>>>>>>> changed.  He only seemed to like me when he thought I was a kid.   
   >>>>>>>>>>  (Why did he think I was a kid, anyway?)   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> I said, "I thought you loved your fans."   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> He said, "Mr. T got no time for grown men!  Mr. T. loves his   
   >>>>>>>>>> little brothers and sisters, not some 30 year old man!"   
   >>>>>>>>>> (Apparently this took place a year ago, because I am actually   
   >>>>>>>>>> 31.)   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> After a while, I think I really started getting on his nerves,   
   >>>>>>>>>> 'cause I kept on quoting "A-Team" lines, like, "We're takin' the   
   >>>>>>>>>> job, Hannibal!" and "I ain't gettin' on no plane!"  It was   
   >>>>>>>>>> really funny (at least, I thought it was funny), but he started   
   >>>>>>>>>> getting really mad at me.   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> I guess in my dreamlike state, I must've thought that in Mr. T's   
   >>>>>>>>>> life, there must always be that somebody acting "zany" to offset   
   >>>>>>>>>> his gruff demeanor, and to be his comic foil--à la, the   
   >>>>>>>>>> "Murdock" to his "B.A." So I really thought I was doing the   
   >>>>>>>>>> right thing here, people.   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> Anyway, he was busy trying to work on his van, and I just kept   
   >>>>>>>>>> talking like him, and I could tell his blood pressure was really   
   >>>>>>>>>> rising.  Then I said won of my favourite lines: "You got a   
   >>>>>>>>>> choice, Jack.  You either talk...Or you HURT!" and he totally   
   >>>>>>>>>> flipped out and started yelling at me!   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> He said, "I'm gettin' tired of you talkin' like me, fool!  Cut   
   >>>>>>>>>> it out, or I'll knock you out!"   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> So I said, "No, you cut it out!  Or I'll knock YOU out!"   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> And he was like "QUIT MOCKIN' ME, SUCKA!"   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> So I said, "NO, YOU QUIT MOCKIN' ME, SUCKA!"   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> And then he said "CUT IT OUT!  I'M THE REAL MR. T!"   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> So I said, "NO, I'M THE REAL MR. T."   
   >>>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>> And then he lost it.  He got up and chased after me with his   
   >>>>>>>>>> tire iron, and that's when I woke up.  So anyway, sorry this   
   >>>>>>>>>> story had no point.   
   >>>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>>>Such a letdown.  I was all excited reading this story and ~this~   
   >>>>>>>>>is how it ends?!?  Sheesh...   
   >>>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>> Sorry, dude.  I have no control over my subconscious.   
   >>>>>>>   
   >>>>>>>Try some weird drugs as an experiment.  Perhaps you can obtain lucid   
   >>>>>>>dreaming.  Speaking of which, I'd ~love~ to have a lucid dream.  Oh,   
   >>>>>>>the fun.   
   >>>>>>   
   >>>>>> DON'T DO DRUGS!  DRUGS ARE FOR FOOLS!   
   >>>>>   
   >>>>>But, I could do some drugs and have a dream that you were having a   
   >>>>>lucid dream, too.  We wound sit and laugh and eat massive amounts of   
   >>>>>pizza and make fun of all the other people we knew were not having   
   >>>>>lucid dreams because we didn't want them to know, which we could do   
   >>>>>because since we were having a lucid dream, we could dream anything we   
   >>>>>wanted.  Oh, the fun it would be.   
   >>>>   
   >>>> Yeah.  Well...I'll just be over by this stuff over here.  Nice talking   
   >>>> to you, though...   
   >>>   
   >>>We are dreaming this conversation.  It's not over.  I'm standing right   
   >>>next to that stuff, too.  Can't you see me?   
   >>   
   >> Yes, and...oh God!  I'm not wearing any pants!   
   >   
   >Neither am I.  What happens now?   
      
   I'm pretty sure we get roundhouse kicked in the gut.   
      
   >This is a dream after all.  So, when we   
   >wake up, whatever happens will never have happened.   
      
   >(did I get the tense correct on that?)   
      
   I believe so.  "Will have never happened" sounds grammatically awkward.   
   --   
   "If you don't get slapped, you're not doing it right."   
    --Tim Weaver gives me the best dating advice I've ever had.   
   (PS: Apologies to Mimus.)   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)