From: bobandcarole@aol.com   
      
   Story: IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME THE NEIGHBORS   
      
       by bobandcarole   
      
       I.  THE NEIGHBORS   
      
      
      
      
      
       "Look around and tell me if I'm right.  You see people like this all   
   over, couples who are so similar to each other they could be twins." I   
   grinned at my tomboy sister, Kim.  "Only their sexes are changed to protect   
   the innocent."   
      
       "What do you mean?" she asked.   
      
       We were standing, straddling our bicycles, in front of a white ranch   
   house at the far side of our subdivision.  Beside their door there was a   
   name plate that, in some sort of Gothic script said, "The McGillicudy's"   
   and had a drawing of a tree.   
      
       "Remember two summers ago?  I was staying at Uncle Bob's and Aunt   
   Meredith's.  I saw the same sign.  They were the same people, too."   
      
       "When I stayed at Grandma's?  So?"   
      
       I saw the door open behind the screen.  I whispered, "Don't let on about   
   anything."   
      
       She shrugged.  At this point, what was there to let onto?   
      
       "Can I help you kids?" the man of the house said.  He was young, chubby,   
   with red hair and close set eyes.  While he approached us, a lady came out   
   on the porch.  She was also red-haired and a little overweight.  It looked   
   better on her.   
      
       He smiled, but I could tell he was putting on an act.  He didn't know   
   these two kids on his sidewalk.  He wasn't sure if we were delinquents or   
   what.   
      
       "Hi," I said.  "I'm David Johnson.  I saw the moving vans last week and   
   thought I'd come by and see if you needed your lawn mowed.  I also shovel   
   snow in the winter."   
      
       Mr.  McGillicudy grinned.  "Sorry kids.  I usually handle all that   
   myself."   
      
       I looked disappointed.  "OK.  Hey, where'd you move from?"   
      
       "Indiana," he said.   
      
       "Welcome to the neighborhood," I said.  Kim and I got on our bikes and   
   rode off.   
      
       Two blocks away we pulled over in a little park.  It was too early to go   
   home, Mom was still in one of her moods and we knew better than being   
   around the house if we could help it.   
      
       "Indiana, my ass.  They lived in Bolton, Pennsylvania.  It was a big old   
   house with that sign out front.  And they both called the old guy in the   
   wheelchair 'dad.' They're brother and sister."   
      
       "Are you sure?  I mean, the old man could have been the father of one of   
   them and, like, the father-in-law of the other."   
      
       "No, it was brother and sister.  I'm sure of it.  They even look alike."   
      
      
       Kim nodded.  "Ick."   
      
       "Think about it.  Maybe they couldn't get dates.  They're not too good   
   looking, y'know.  They start doing it with each other and, when their dad   
   dies, they decide to keep doing it.  All they have to do is move to a place   
   where no one knows them and pretend they're married.  They don't even have   
   to change their name.  It's perfect."   
      
       "Perfect?  It's gross!"   
      
       "Yeah.  It's gross, but it's the perfect crime or whatever."   
      
       "It's still sick."   
      
      
      
       II.  HOME   
      
      
      
       Three years passed.  I got my license to drive and Kim, who was a year   
   younger but better at managing money than I, went in fifty-fifty with me on   
   a car.  Some of the kids at school thought it was nerdy to own an old   
   junker with one's sister, but it was transportation.  We could get out of   
   the house easier and farther away.  Besides, Kim and I never did what the   
   other kids did.  We were always on the outside.   
      
       Kim was the jock and I was the bookworm.  I read all the time and Kim   
   played games, worked at the golf course, and was on all the teams.  We were   
   both escaping a household without a father and a mother who was often   
   drunk, depressed, or living with a boyfriend.  I got teased about it a lot,   
   but if anyone tried that with Kim, she'd kick his ass.   
      
       Although she was sixteen, a year younger than I, we were the same   
   height. Her shoulders were broader than mine and her voice just as deep.   
   The kids at school thought she was a lesbian and I knew that hurt her.  No   
   guy had ever asked her out probably because she was tougher than they were.   
   It wasn't like she was ugly.  She had a nice face, long dirty-blond hair,   
   and great, athletic legs.   
      
       Her looks weren't wasted on one person.  Gerald, our Mom's new   
   boyfriend. I had seen how he looked at her and I didn't like it.  I never   
   like the guy.  He always teased me about reading LORD OF THE RINGS and   
   things like that, but that was pretty petty stuff compared to what he tried   
   with Kim.   
      
       It was a hot August day when Kim came in from her morning softball   
   practice.  She was dripping with sweat and the outline of her jog bra could   
   be seen through her t-shirt.  I must admit I also looked at her with a   
   little lust, although I didn't think of it what way at the time.  Gerald,   
   who had been drinking all morning, couldn't keep his eyes off my sister.  I   
   knew trouble was brewing.   
      
       "Hey Dungeons and Dragons boy," he said to me, slurring.  "Why don't you   
   run to the store and get me another six-pack?" He pulled a bill out of his   
   wallet and threw it at me.  It fluttered to the ground.  I picked it up.  A   
   hundred.  They must have just cashed their Welfare checks, and Gerald had   
   all the money.   
      
       "I'm too young," I said.   
      
       "Y'look old enuff," he growled.   
      
       He was right.  I had bought for him and Mom before.  So had Kim, in   
   fact. I went out to my car.   
      
       Pulling out of the driveway it hit me.  Gerald was alone with Kim.  Mom   
   was at work, another under-the-table waitressing job that she would keep   
   until her drinking got her in trouble.  I drove to the end of the block,   
   turned, and parked.  Kim's softball bat was in the back seat.  I took it   
   with me.   
      
       I snuck in through the back door.  Gerald wasn't in the living room,   
   where I had left him.  He probably went to sleep in his and Mom's room.  I   
   felt silly, being so paranoid.  I peeked around the corner to the bathroom   
   and saw the door was ajar.  Kim always closed it when she showered.  I   
   could hear the water rushing, so I knew she was still in there.  I crept up   
   the hall, my worry increasing.   
      
       There was the noise of a shower curtain being pulled aside and a shriek   
   . I rushed forward and saw my fear made real.  Gerald, naked, beefy, and   
   hairy, had jumped into the shower and was grabbing Kim, who was fighting   
   him off.  I swung the bat, missing his head, but walloping his shoulder.   
      
       He turned, red with alcohol, rage, lust, and pain.  I tried to hit him   
   again with the bat but he caught it.   
      
       "Interfering son of a----ooof." Kim had ended his sentence for him by   
   hammering her fist into his balls.  He collapsed into the tub.  Kim jumped   
   out, naked and slick.  She snatched the bat from his loose hands and   
   pointed to the door.   
      
       "Out," she said.  I paused.  What the hell, I thought, he deserved   
   whatever he got.  I left them alone.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
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    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)