From: bobandcarole@aol.com   
      
   Story: IN HIS HANDS by bobandcarole   
      
   Can you imagine a world where a mother gives birth to a daughter, blames   
   the child for all her woes and problems, and beats her constantly? Can   
   you imagine that child growing up, and at the age of 12 years is so   
   abused, so miserable, that she looks for a way to committ suicide as the   
   only way out of her misery? Its not hard for me to imagine, because I   
   was that child. This is my story, how I looked for death, found new   
   pain, new abuse, and eventually unexpected contentment.   
      
   My mother was always vauge as to what any other family that we might   
   have had. She claimed that she and my father were married legally, but   
   that he had divorced her out of disappointment that his firstborn was a   
   girl. My father's leaving was my fault, her drinking was a result of his   
   leaving was my fault, our being on Welfare was my fault, and on and   
   on.... Understand, she started telling me this when I was five!!!   
      
   Now I need to admit that for the most part Mom was not neglectful. She   
   kept me well fed, well clothed, sent me off to school and made sure,   
   when she discovered I loved to read, that there were plenty of things   
   around the house for me to read. But, all this was a cover so the world   
   would not discover how she almost nightly hit, punched and beat me,   
   always managing not to leave bruises that people would see.   
      
   By the time I hit 12, I had enough. One day, I tried swallowing a bottle   
   of pills Mom had by her bedside. I just fell alseep for two days. I   
   thought about jumping out of a window, stepping in front of a truck or   
   bus, but what if I just got messed up instead of dying? Then one day I   
   was reading a True Crime magazine one of Mom's friend's hd left in the   
   kitchen, and an article leaped right out at me:   
      
        <   
        H4>Killer Rapist Still at Large!   
        - Police and FBI are still conducting a hunt for the crazed animal   
   stalking and killing girls and women! All indications point to the   
   madman repeatedly raping his victims before strangling them. Police and   
   FBI sources all state it is believed that the killer-rapist may be a   
   long-haul trucker who travels the country, since victims are being   
   discovered in all parts of the country.   
      
   Mom had told me about sex between a man and a woman, explained to me   
   what rape was just a few months ago. She told me never to go off with a   
   strange man, because there were men out there who liked nothing better   
   than raping and killing little girls. Well this article proved she was   
   right. And it also, I thought, showed me a way out of my miserable life.   
      
   I had been told often enough I was pretty by strangers on the street,   
   that I was willing to believe it was true. I was 5', had short balck   
   curly hair and eyes that seemed to change color with my moods, sometimes   
   hazel, sometimes green. I just hoped that I could a grown man, an evil   
   grown man, who would rape me quickly end my life.   
      
   I took a bath, dressed in my shortest shorts, and a halter top, grabbed   
   some change out of Mom's purse, and headed downtown. Near the bus   
   station was my favorite hamburger place, but also near the bus station   
   was one of those nasty "Adult Book Stores" where some pretty creepy   
   looking men hung out. I sat in the hanburger place sipping a cola, and   
   watched till the meanest, biggest, ugliest man I had ever seen came   
   walking out of the "Adult Bookstore".   
      
   I jumped up, ran out the door and began following him. When he turned   
   down one of the side streets, I quickly ran after him, calling "Hey   
   mister, mister, can I ask you something?" The man stopped turned around,   
   and waited for me to get close to him. He was even uglier and meaner up   
   close than he had looked from the hamburger place! He loomed over me his   
   totally bald head shining, and it seemed as if he was three times as   
   wide as I was. "What can I do for you baby,", he grinned and his hand   
   strayed down to his the front of his pants and started pulling at his   
   zipper, "you lost or something? Need me to give you a ride somewhere? I   
   like givin little girls rides."   
      
   I swallowed hard. I was scared, but I was going to go through with my   
   plan. I could tell this man very dangerous. "No, not lost. I wanted to   
   ask.." my eyes were looking at the man as he continued to pull at his   
   zipper, "if it was true that men like to rape and kill little gitls?"   
      
   The man's tounge began to lick his lips,as he just stared at me. I   
   stared back at this big man, his bald head scared and shining , and   
   waited. "Well little lady, I don't know about killin', but I sure would   
   like to rape me a little girl. You looking to be raped?" Now his hand   
   had disappeared into his pants, and I could see he was rubbing   
   something. I nodded. "Well this must be my lucky day. You ever been   
   fucked before?", he said as he held out his other hand to me, and I let   
   huge hand engulf mine.   
      
   I shook my head "No sir. Would you like to take me somewhere and rape   
   and kill me? I won't try and run away, I promise."   
      
   " I don't why you puttin' yo' sweet little self in my hands, but sweet   
   Jesus! this is my lucky day! You really gonna come with me, and let me   
   rape you and fuck as much as I want, I can even kill you when I'm tired   
   of fucking you?" I nodded. "OOOOOOOOOOO WHEEEEEEEEEE! well come on baby,   
   I'm gonna fuck you to death!" He took a quick look around and almost   
   dragged me a half block because he was walking so fast.   
      
   We reached a snall white house, and he quickly unlocked the door and   
   thrust me inside.   
      
   He closed the door quickly behind us, then leaned on it breathing   
   heavily. "Sheeeeet! O just can't believe this! My own little girl, my   
   own little rape toy! Take your clothes off baby, let me look at you."   
      
   I took off my clothes as he turned on a lamp. "Come here, darlin, and   
   let me look at them itty bitty titties of yours." I walked close to him,   
   completely naked, and trembling with fear. He grabbed me with rough   
   hands and pulled me up tight to him. He held up against his body with   
   his right hand, while his left hand roughly explored my body. "I just   
   caint believe you're real, that this sweet body is mine," he gasped as   
   left hand found its way behind my legs, and then upward rubbing my   
   pussy. He hissed, and thrust a heavily caloused finger through the lips   
   of my pussy, pumped it in and out a few times, withdrew, stuck in two   
   fingers, pumpied in and out. "So hot and tight, and you starting to get   
   wet too! Feels good don't it?" It didn't but I nodded anyway, as he   
   withdrew the two fingers, and put his left hand in front of my face.   
   "That was jus' two fingers, let's go for three!" He lowered his hand,   
   and suddenly I felt a sharp jabbing pain.   
      
   I struggled to get free, but the man just laughed, and held me tighter.   
   "Oh baby, you think that hurts, wait till I get my cock in you! it'll   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)