From: bobandcarole@aol.com   
      
   Story: YOU MIGHT BE A PEDOPHILE IF...your namme is  bobandcarole |   
      
   by bobandcarole   
      
   This is a collection of jokes is ment to be taken as a saterical,   
   humorus view of the mentality and humor of a pedophile. I, The Author,   
   have no intentions of advocating this material to be used in the   
   corruption of minors or to be talken out of context and used as   
   guideline for comiting acts of a sexual nature against children.   
   In no way do I, The Author, endorse, or encourage the mal-treatment of   
   children or persons of any age.   
      
   You might be a pedopile if...   
   ==============================   
      
   You've ever asked someone if they can "keep a secret".   
      
   A good day includes a trip to the Elementary school.   
      
   You consatly watch re-runs of Full House, and you dont mind the acting.   
      
   You are an advcocate of providing birth controll to young girls.   
      
   Your favorite circulation is the "little miss" section of The Sears   
   catalogue.   
      
   A night on the town includes a trip into your neighbours back yard to   
   smell his daughters bike seat.   
      
   Your single, but you insist on liveing near parks and schools.   
      
   You got a job as a school bus driver to meet new people.   
      
   To find a date you visit the local YMCA.   
      
   If You've ever said "you dont tell your mommy EVERYTHING do you?".   
      
   When buying your girl friend clothes is the most exciting part of your week.   
      
   You've ever seriously considered being a crossing gaurd.   
      
   Youre pet name for the girl next door is "Sexy".   
      
   You follow the Jon Benet Ramsey case just to see pictures of here in   
   those lovely gowns!   
      
   You ride the bus all day just to help women get their baby carages up   
   onto the bus.   
      
   You've ever considered opening a nudist preschool.   
      
   To get a date you swimg buy the Candy store.   
      
   When asking what sexual positions your girl friend likes you have to   
   include the words "wee wee, and bum".   
      
   You buy childrens underwear but have no kids.   
      
   Whenever your girl friend comes over you have to swing buy the grocery   
   store to pick up Petroleum Jelly and diapers.   
      
   You enjoy attending childrens plays at the local theatre.   
      
   You dont like cartoons, but you say Lion King 20 times.   
      
   You hate fast food, but you love eating at Mc Donalds.   
      
   You consider Chucky Cheeses a good place to take a date.   
      
   The first thing you asked your new neighbours is "so...ya got kids???"   
      
   Your a busy person but your allways willing to take time out to babysit.   
      
   You consider becoming a Kindergarten teacher a good career choice.   
      
   Your idea of a good job is becomming the local health care worker that   
   goes to schools and gives lessons on sex ed.   
      
   Your fondest memories of being a child was changing for gym.   
      
   You dont have kids, but keep a stack of diapers on hand just in case.   
      
   You wear baby powder as a colonge.   
      
   You consider a pediatriction a God.   
      
   You get a job as a school janitor just to clean the bathrooms.   
      
   You spend hours waiting by the door waiting for the Girl Guides to ask   
   for a donation.   
      
   Your single but still you vacation at Disney Land.   
      
   You visit your friend in the deep south to attend a "cute babies" contest.   
      
   Model your home in the fashion of Barbies Dream House.   
      
   You dont have kids but you have a room set up like a little girls room   
   just in case.   
      
   You scan the TV Guide for shows about the Tribes people of Africa.   
      
   You never missed an episode of "Spilled Milk" (Canadian parenting show)   
      
   You visit the beach to photograph other peoples children.   
      
   You watch Rent-a-Kid and Kindergarten Cop constantly.   
      
   You love to watch the traffic just after school lets out.   
      
   You consider spending a day in the Childrens wading pool the most fun   
   you've ever had.   
      
   You order information about Family Resorts in other places but never   
   intend on traveling there.   
      
   You get hot whenever you see a package of "Pull-ups".   
      
   You wonder what the 8yr old girl next door sees in the other 8yr olds on   
   the block.   
      
   Your outraged when the girl next door stops running around her back yard   
   naked.   
      
   You buy a Sony Playstation just so the kids on the street have a reason   
   to come to your house.   
      
   You offer to install security cameras in the bathroom of the local   
   preschool for really cheap!   
      
   You've seen every movie the Olsen Twins have been in.   
      
   You claim to like the "acting" of the Olsen Twins.   
      
   You know every tiny detail about the Olsen Twins.   
      
   You look in the kids video section for a good work-out tape.   
      
   You've seen every potty training video on the martket,   
      
   You wish you had a daughter just so you can invite other children to   
   sleep over.   
      
   When making love to your wife, you think of your kids.   
      
   You spent 5,000 dollars on your kids at Christmas, and 50 dollars on   
   your wife.   
      
   You allways offer to change your babies diapers.   
      
   You wish your wife would leave you so you can spend more time with your   
   daughter.   
      
   You keep a bottle of Baby Oil handy...Just in case.   
      
   You've ever seriously wondered where baby oil came from.   
      
   You visit the beach constantly, but never go swiming.   
      
   You consider Thailand and Belgium ideal travel destinations.   
      
   Your single, but you joined a family nudist colony.   
      
   Your favorite song is "Young Girl, get out of my mind Girl"   
      
   You've seen "My Girl" 50 times.   
      
   Youre sympathetic towards the bad publicity Woody Allen gets.   
      
   You complain the local store dosent carry your favorite magazines,   
   Family Life, Parenting, and Jung Und Frei.   
      
   You've actually done a web search for "child porn" or "child pics".   
      
   You think the program "Kid Pics" has something to do with your girl friend.   
      
   Your majoring in Child Care.   
      
   You rush home from work to watch Seseme Street.   
      
   You wonder why the movie "Lolita" gets so bad publicity.   
      
   ==========================   
   ...You may be a pedophile.   
      
      
   created entirely by "DuckmanX". Any additions to this text should be   
   noterized and clearly marked so that original content can be identified   
   and credited.   
      
   Please enjoy and distribute, but dont rip my shit (claim you wrote it).   
      
   DuckmanX (Dalnet, IRC), Iron Butterfly (NG's), Acid Burn (BBS)   
   same person, you can reach me at...   
   		sgtpsycho666@yahoo.com   
   **WARNING** all flames will be noted and laughed at!   
      
   Circa 1999   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)