Thank You For Posting Simple Man     Nikki   
      
   Simple Man wrote:   
   > But Mom! (Mg, cons)   
   > By Simple Man   
   >   
   >   
   > Two weeks into retirement and I was bored to tears, the sheer thought   
   > that I had nothing compelling to do each day was making me feel   
   > worthless and un-needed.  Anyway, standing there with my second cup of   
   > morning coffee, my wife still snoring in bed and me still wearing only   
   > my boxer shorts in front of my bay window, I saw this Jeep in my   
   > neighbor's driveway.  Damn, I thought, that looks like fun.  It was more   
   > than a convertible, with the top down and those roll bars showing, it   
   > looked like adventure.  I realized right then that I wanted adventure   
   > and a Jeep like that to go with it.  Suddenly I began to feel excited; I   
   > had a mission, something to do.   
   >   
   > She laughed right in my face and took my third cup of coffee and began   
   > to drink it.  Every time she let the cup drop from her lips she would   
   > snort coffee and laugh hysterically.  I was not amused and grabbed my   
   > cup of coffee back from her.  Off she went with her hand covering her   
   > mouth still snickering, repeating over and over again "Adventure, Jeep!   
   > Right!" and right then I decided I would hate that woman for the next   
   > few hours at least.   
   >   
   > Well, I was not to be put off by my wife.  I was retired and could do   
   > damn well as I pleased now.  Besides she could not stand me being under   
   > foot all the time, but oh yea, her idea of a pastime for me was fucking   
   > BINGO every other night.  BULL SHIT!  That is no life for a man no   
   > matter how old I was.  No, I went over to the Chrysler Jeep dealership   
   > to at least look at those adventure vehicles and I went by myself.   
   >   
   > Now I have not bought a new car in probably more than ten years so I was   
   > a little unprepared for the sales pressure I was getting, but this   
   > salesman was telling me he would baby sit my kids if I would sign on the   
   > dotted line.  I tried to tell him that I did not have any kids but he   
   > was walking me out to the lot to find the one I wanted.  Half way out he   
   > plopped a Jeep cap on my head and had his arm around me real buddy like.   
   >   
   > Well, I guess you know I traded in my old trusty car and finally pulled   
   > away from the dealership in a brand new Jeep Wrangler.  I came to the   
   > first stoplight and sat there thinking I could not go home; the taunts   
   > from my wife were ringing in my head so I turned at the light and headed   
   > off toward the park.  I had the Jeep now and adventure was still making   
   > my heart pound faster, and I spotted a park bench and pulled up in front   
   > of it right on the grass.  I got out and sat down on the bench just   
   > looking at the shiny new Jeep.   
   >   
   > "Hey mister, that your Jeep?"   
   >   
   > I looked up and saw nobody and thought maybe I had imagined it.   
   > However, soon there was a giggle behind me and I turned to look in back   
   > of me.   
   >   
   > "Surprise, it's just me!" and more giggles.   
   >   
   > She was maybe eight years old, maybe less and she was cute as a button.   
   >   
   > "Who is me?"  I asked.   
   >   
   > "I'm Penny, what's your name?"   
   >   
   > Walking around the bench she stood in front of me and I had to swallow   
   > hard.  She had on little yellow shorts, micro shorts, that left no doubt   
   > as to what her butt looked like and a loose little white top that ended   
   > just below her little girl nipples.  Barefoot and nearly naked I felt   
   > myself getting aroused by her looks and manners.   
   >   
   > "I'm William, but my friends call me Bill."   
   >   
   > "Looks like it needs to be washed!" she offered.   
   >   
   > "What needs to be washed?" I responded.   
   >   
   > "The Jeep silly, it's got some dirt on it!  I can help; I'm really good   
   > at washing cars."   
   >   
   > "Oh you are, are you?"   
   >   
   > "Yep!" she beamed.   
   >   
   > She then started giggling and pointing at the erection in my pants,   
   > clearly amused that she had caused this with just her looks.  There was   
   > nothing I could do, covering myself would have brought more attention,   
   > so I just let her look at it and sure enough it got bigger and so did   
   > her smile.   
   >   
   > "Did I do that?"   
   >   
   > "Yes you did!'   
   >   
   > "Are you a pervert that likes little girls like me?"   
   >   
   > "I guess I am, so why don't you run off now and go play?"   
   >   
   > "Nope, I wanna see it!" she countered.   
   >   
   > "Well, you're not going to see it so you may as well run off before you   
   > get me in trouble!"   
   >   
   > Not to be put off, she crawled into my lap, her lips dangerously close   
   > to mine and rubbing her groin on my manhood.  Wisdom was ebbing away   
   > from me by the moment and I knew in a short time I would be revealing   
   > myself to her, a little girl.  I was a pervert, but she had me turned on   
   > big time.  Her lips were getting closer to mine and her arms were   
   > circling my neck.  If I gave in now I would be lost and she was just a   
   > little girl.   
   >   
   > "Penelope Ann Miller, what do you think you are doing?  Get off that   
   > poor man before you give him a heart attack!"   
   >   
   > "But Mom!"   
   >   
   > "But mom nothing!  Give him a sweet kiss and slide off of him right now.   
   > My God girl have I taught you no manners?"   
   >   
   > "But Mom!"   
   >   
   > Penny laid a kiss on me that took my breath away and my Johnson blew a   
   > wad all over inside my pants in its earnest attempt at salvation.  Girl   
   > in tote, the equally cute mother dragged her daughter off of me.   
   >   
   > "Ya know the parking lot is over there!" she said.   
   >   
   > I looked at my new Jeep and at the struggling preteen body that just   
   > kept looking better to me by the moment.   
   >   
   > "But Mom!"   
   >   
   > "That your Jeep?" the officer asked.   
   >   
   > "Yep, it's brand new!" I answered.   
   >   
   > "Congratulations, here is a brand new ticket to go with it.  Move it   
   > NOW!"   
   >   
   > I drove home to a cold dinner and pillows on the couch.  All my wife   
   > said to me was "You didn't, did you?" and I nodded yes.   
   >   
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