From: deuman04@comcast.net   
      
   This post may contain a virus   
      
   Jury Duty   
      
   September 16, 2005   
      
      
      
               It had been 20 years since I drove to the State of Michigan   
   courthouse, which was the same place that I was driving to today.  In 1985,   
   I was at work when a neighbor called to tell me that my home was being   
   burglarized.  She told me not to worry because everything was under control.   
   An unknown car with four people had drove into our 200 foot driveway and   
   stopped.  One guy got out of the car and went into my house.  The police   
   were there and everything was under control.   
      
               I drove into my RN neighbor's driveway.  She was standing,   
   watching on with a few other neighbors.  I joined them.  There were several   
   cars parked along the driveway.  I recognized a burgundy car that was   
   similar to one that 18-year-old Twodar's parents own.  I had previously used   
   the word "Retarded" to my neighbors when I explained that if any neighbor'   
   child teased Twodar, I would be sending the neighbors children home.   
      
   I thought one of the three men that the policeman was holding a gun on was   
   Twodar.  Well, you aren't suppose to "get into a Deputy's face", or you   
   might in up with a few rebuttals.  Yep, something like three tickets in   
   three months, and end up back at the courthouse to be found guilty pay your   
   fine as you walk out the door.   
      
               My watch was already geared when I walked through the first   
   door.  I had to stop before opening the second door, because there was a   
   line walking though the metal detector and the woman in front of me holding   
   a coffee cup would have been hit.  There must have been 25 people reporting   
   for jury duty.  They weren't set up for the rush.  I started laughing when   
   the security guard to the lady that no food or beverage was allowed.  The   
   woman looked at her coffee, asking, "What am I suppose to do with it?"   
      
               The deputy replied, "You brought it in, you figure it out."   
      
               First I thought about how security would let you blow-up, then I   
   said, "They don't want you to poison any one."   
      
               The way I get lost once inside a big building, I look and feel   
   like a retard, so I followed a lady.  Once it was my turn at the Jury   
   window, I asked if the date of my last jury duty was.  They only go back   
   three years, which means that I'll probably never find my last jury duty   
   story.  It was filed by the date.   
      
               I actually forgot about the Delta Dawn song.  There are two   
   verses that would best describe my traveling from the Jury check-in window   
   to the Jury waiting room.   
      
   Delta Dawn lyrics   
      
   She's sixty-three and her daddy still calls 'er "baby"   
      
   All the folks 'round Brownsville say she's crazy.   
      
               Finally, I made it through the door.  There were 4 or 5 rows of   
   6-foot tables set up.  I decided to sit by myself, which was the same   
   appearance of the people already sitting.  I ended up walking to the far end   
   of the room and sitting at the end table where two men were sitting.  They   
   were both dressed in business suits.  The nice-looking man closes to me had   
   dark hair and his friend was blond (unknown to me was an attorney).  Well,   
   if you know me, my mouth ran beginning with the "Bomb Blaster" until 5   
   minutes before the Jurors were dismissed.   
      
               A woman entered the room, explaining what our duty was suppose   
   to be.  The court actually acted on 18 cases in a little over 100 minutes.   
   Apparently, there was two of those "Guilty" or "Guilty" cases that we jurors   
   were suppose to sit though and listen to that "Bull shit".  Our mileage and   
   time was recorded and the attorney that requested our services would be   
   paying for each and every one of our time spend.   
      
               I left the court house, feeling computer sick.  Everyone I know   
   will buy themselves a gift when they feel down, so I bought me a 2005 Sony   
   laptop. I returned home at 1pm.  I kept trying to call busy-line Comcast   
   until 4, so I drove to Clarkston to speak with a real-live person.  The   
   Comcast lady only knew one of the two numbers that I needed in order to   
   hook-up with my ISP.  I had to call the number that she gave me.  The record   
   always begins with go to the website.  I normally call because I'm not   
   connected to the Internet, therefore I can't get to the website!   
      
               Finally, I spoke with Kevin who was as polite and helpful as he   
   could be.  Comcast would not violate the trade laws, or whatever that thingy   
   is that the USA congress passed, stating that Linksys router has to be   
   called in order for me to connect with Comcast Internet Provider.  The only   
   thing I did was give my new 2005 Sony with Wireless High Speed Internet a   
   name "Rita's Baby".   
      
               My big decision now is should I call Comcast, or should I return   
   it to where it was purchased for a virus check that may have been brought   
   into the new computer from Linksys at the time of Internet connection?   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)