From: dianic_dreams@yahoo.com   
      
   I wound up talking to Flyerbait again. I explained to him that half the   
   time, I don't understand what he means by what he says because the words he   
   uses means different things to me.   
      
   "Look for the feel instead."   
      
   "Mm... I'm learning to be more giving.. first... That will uncloud my   
   mind... and perhaps then I can feel with discernment... There are times when   
   my feeling is spot on.. and at other times, I just doubt unnecessarily....   
   Generosity may fix all that. That sounds ironic."   
      
   "We owe we owe, but still we all take. To free ourselves we give. When ever   
   you feel tied up in knots and unable to move, it frees you up."   
      
   I asked him what he meant by "a test to test yourself."   
      
   "Toltecs talk about gates of learning, and Iwould say that you have been   
   stuck at one for some time, trying all the keys on the key ring. Besides,   
   you're close to workin it out."   
      
   "I am?"   
      
   "You're not going to weddle the answer out, you have to work it out   
   yourself. Just have a bit of faith in yourself."   
      
   "Ok. You said you want to talk to me.. why?"   
      
   "I find it interesting that you collect lots of different stuff. Not just a   
   closed minded biggot. Because you test yourself, and push your envelop."   
      
   "Yes, I love to collect different stuff.. I started a group on the Warrior   
   Code... and find out now that the Toltec Warriors follow the exact same   
   principles..Which is nice."   
      
   "W hat did you think about the feeling of their intent?"   
      
   "They learn fast. Or at least... there is enough in Toltec principles for   
   someone to push their limits... and that's very important for a belief   
   structure."   
      
   "It's just that the structure changes all the time, even the doors move   
   around. And just one bit of knowledge can change it all for you."   
      
   "Things like the 10 Perfections never change..."   
      
   "Get deep into dreaming, and when you see what's out there, you'll see why I   
   say that. I'm careful with knowledge, and battle test it constantly."   
      
   "Knowledge. I have none. By the way.... what do you mean by "deep into   
   dreaming"? Let me get this right.. Everything is simple really.. You're   
   talking about how the dream is more real than the real."   
      
   So, I began to share two dreams with him that had affected me deeply. "The   
   first.. I had about 6-7 years ago... I'm holding onto a rope that's attached   
   to a hot air baloon... below me is a stormy sea.. bellowing... the sky..   
   surprisingly.. is clear.. bright.. blue.. and beautiful.... the balloon is   
   slowly going closer and closer to the sea... and I know that any moment now   
   a wave is going to grab me and I'm done for... but just as I hit the water..   
   I land on a ridge... and I look across and see a beautiful island a mile   
   away... so, I swim to the island.. and the first thing I see is a swimming   
   pool made out of rainbow candy... with little kids playing.. so I undress   
   jump in and have a fun time.. then I panic and think.."opps.. don't want   
   people to think I'm a pedofile.." So, I get out and get dressed.. walk   
   around.. and come by a door leading down to a cellar... It's just a door in   
   the middle of a beautiful garden.. which is wierd.. so, I walk in.. and walk   
   down these winding stairs.. deeper and deeper in.. and I hear a scream.. a   
   squeal.. and a woman dressed as a maid is walking up the stairs.. and as I   
   pass her I look into her eyes.. they are terrified.. I keep walking down..   
   the screaming gets louder.. when I reach the bottom, I see a huge butcher of   
   a man dragging a lamb with a rope tied to its neck.. it's resisting.. or   
   trying to.. And I look into it's eyes.. and it KNOWS it's about to die...   
   but the thing is.. the lamb is made completely out of marble. And it is   
   alive. Beautiful marble."   
      
   "From the first dream. In toltec terms, this is what we call a second gate   
   dream. You moved between 3 dreams, or pockets of reality. First was an   
   ordinary dream, but the fear made your energy body open a door and move to   
   another dream (like jumping songs on a record). The second dream moved you   
   closer, and fear is mentioned again (you were not master of that enemy   
   then). The door wasn't a door you see here in the garden. It was what we   
   call an ally, or technically, a probe of awareness from another world,   
   inviting you there. The steps down, and the fearful beast and victims is   
   part of their realm. They are the masters of controlling others with fear.   
      
   "What I remember most is that this lamb made of marble is unique.. one of a   
   kind.. never to be recreated..."   
      
   "Then you see a wonder, a living being of rock that they have captured. It   
   looked the way it looked to you, because it was the closest way to describe   
   it. It's like saying a firey chariot, when we mean a jetplane. You have a   
   sorcery story right there. You could wave that one around on any toltec   
   group chat, it is a good dream."   
      
   "A sorcery story? And why would toltec people be impressed with it?"   
      
   "Because some warriors may never remember a dream like that, even after 5   
   years of training. You did all that, and brought the dream back, not easy."   
      
   "Ok.. second dream.. I'm with my teacher.. and a girl.. can't remember who   
   exactly... but I am trying to save her... all three of us are warriors   
   battling a demonic army.... wolfish ... army.. We soon end up at the centre   
   of a forest.. and are surrounded. Suddenly.. I decide to jump.... For a   
   moment the whole thing seemed inconsequential..And I feel free... So, I   
   jump... and begin to fly into the air... and I just keep going.. increasing   
   speed.. soon the earth becomes a beautiful sphere.. then a dot... I'm going   
   faster and faster.. and soon everything is blurring past me.. all the   
   stars.. galaxies... all of a sudden.. nothing.. I find myself in the   
   nothing.. complete void.... It takes me by surprise... I mean.. where did   
   the Universe go? So I look inside me... it was a natural reaction.. and   
   inside me, I find the whole universe... And I realise at that moment that I   
   am all there is... I am all Alone. There is nothing else. Just me. And I   
   wake."   
      
   "And the unverse was just where you left it. Those dreams are the hardest to   
   leave, but you wake with a longing. Thats a "deep dreaming." Indeed, both   
   are second gate."   
      
   "It was... paradoxically the most liberating dream.. and the most   
   frightening.. The two went hand in hand. Tell me about the gates.. how many   
   gates are there?"   
      
   "Seven."   
      
   "I should have guessed." I smiled.   
      
   "But first, there are "attentions". There are 3 attentions. First (the   
   everyday world). Second (dreaming, including the seven gates). Whenever you   
   hear about people becoming gods, or getting out alive, they "burn with the   
   fire from within" and enter the third attention. I have been told there is   
   much more after that, but not much on it. Apparently some seers of third   
   attention go exploring, and simply travel for ever. First gate is awaking in   
   a dream, and being aware. Second gate is learning to move between dreams,   
   and interacting with our common neighbours. The second is never ending. It's   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)