XPost: alt.magick, alt.native, alt.religion.wicca   
   XPost: alt.recovery.adult-children   
   From: olympiada2007@gmail.com   
      
   CoreyWhite wrote:   
      
   >   
   > I have always loved butterflies, with all my heart.  When I was a   
   > young boy, while I was taking the Avatar Course, I asked my instructor   
   > to help me create a miracle.  We sat outside my house when there were   
   > a few butterflies flying around the yard.  I said with conviction, "We   
   > shall allow one to land on my left index finger".  It wasn't long   
   > before one came to land on me.  But I asked my teacher why the   
   > butterfly didn't land on my left index finger, and he told me it was   
   > because I didn't believe strong enough.  So we sat again for at least   
   > 5 minuets before the same butterfly came over and landed on my left   
   > index finger.  When it did it unrolled its long spiral tongue and gave   
   > me a kiss.  I sat there in amazement for so long...   
   >   
   > Before then we were having Native American sweat lodges at my house on   
   > the weekends, which were really popular.  But after that avatar course   
   > we lost touch with all the native americans.. and I still miss them.   
   > Talking to you, you make me remember the fairies, and that's whats   
   > inspiring me to do this work with them.  Maybe you shouldn't pray to   
   > them, but it is true that as things are here on earth, so it is on the   
   > other side.  We live in a technological world that's dependent on   
   > nature.  The reality we can't percieve is a jungle, and behind closed   
   > eyes our second self exists as grape vines connected to the earth and   
   > rooted in the soil.   
   >   
   > The creator of butterflies?  I'm not sure if I believe in him.. There   
   > is only nature to me.   
   >   
   You must believe in the Creator. The Native Americans believe in the   
   Creator. If you ever make it to Alaska, you will see. You can go to the   
   Alaskan diocesan website in the meantime if you are interested and see   
   the Native American clergy.   
   You must believe in the Creator of Nature.   
   The fairies are childish creatures of our imaginations. We have to let   
   go of them. It is ok to imagine such things as children, but we are not   
   children any  more, we are grown men and women.   
      
      
     I am having to draw them for work, not because I want to, but because   
   I was asked to. If I had my way, I'd be painting portraits of monks, but   
   that was not what I was asked to do. I was asked to draw fairies. And I   
   probably will use water color to color them in, it is the first   
   recommended technique.   
      
      
   I went on a bike ride today and I am still feeling uncomfortable in my   
   own skin. Certain things can't be talked about in public because people   
   will gossip. This group is for adult children.   
      
      
     I am dealing with my divorce in person, on the phone, in email and it   
   is very hard. Its never enough. I am so uncomfortable tonight. But this   
   is not the place to talk about that.   
      
      
     I got the necklace, thank you, that's very sweet. I am happy you love   
   me. It keeps me safe. I am sure my ex saw it but he did not ask me about   
   it. Your love is healing me. It is generous and does not expect things   
   in return. You can be a Christian you know how. You may be able to be  a   
   monk. I wanted to acknowledge you publicly even though I will get   
   scorned for revealing your affection for me. I want you to feel honored   
   and appreciated. My brother gave me a necklace to, that Irish symbol, I   
   can not spell it, with the hands and the crown. And my mom gave me a   
   necklace kind of like the one you gave me, only its a locket so I can   
   put my daughter's picture in it.   
      
   It is nice to feel loved and respected. I know that you respect me. I am   
   not used to being respected by a man. I have been disrespected by men   
   all my life. The ones that respected me were monks. They were the ones   
   that gave me presents with no expectation of anything in return,   
   presents for my daughter and presents for me.   
      
   I misplaced a very dear icon of the Mother of God nursing the Christ   
   Child, a paper icon, blessed on Mount Athos, given to me by a monk. That   
   monk is no longer a monk and no longer my friend.   
      
   It is so hard to let go of people.   
      
   In his case, well, he has a woman in his life now.   
      
      
   And he is happy.   
      
   Today I can accept that. When it happened I was shocked. Heck my   
   daughter was shocked, she nearly fell over.   
      
      
   She has seen a lot. She is very wise. Her eyes are very bright. She is a   
   child of God. And you are too. And so am I.   
      
   Olympiada   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)