On Monday, March 12, 2018 at 1:56:13 PM UTC-4, Fake Dead Ray #11 wrote:   
   > Hello,   
   >    
   > My name is Josef Goldstein   
      
   Welcome aboard Josef!    
      
   > and am pleased to announce that I have been    
   > hired by the Team Christ division of the Government/Media Sponsored/   
   > Supported Disinformation/Mind Control agent to become the 11th iteration    
   > of Fake Dead Ray.  I wanted to introduce myself before I begin in earnest    
   > manufacturing digital xanax (otherwise known as Vimeo videos) and offer an    
   > apology to the the alt.fan.art-bell newsgroup in advance of the crazy ray    
   > things I will have to do to earn my paycheck as FDR11.0.   
      
   Apology noted and appreciated!  None of the Rays (real or fake) have ever   
   apologized for anything.  This unprecedented presentation of .siggy material   
   is priceless... I'll be sure to buy you a real beer at the Stealth Hot Dog   
   stand :-)   
      
   > I have an extensive background that qualified me for this opportunity.  3    
   > different involuntary committals to various mental institutions, 8    
   > different jail incarcerations, and 2 prison sentences.  Over all, I have    
   > spent two thirds of my life in county or state custody of one type or    
   > another.   
   >    
   > In preparation for this role I drove into Josephine County an shot a    
   > mannequin with a pellet pistol and got kicked out of a local diner for    
   > passing a lot of gas in close proximity of other customers.  Needless to    
   > say, the agency was quite impressed with my demonstrated willingness to    
   > fit the profile and was hired on the spot.   
      
   Woohoo!  Now all you need to do is learn how to speak like Ray.  You know...   
   you must resonate with the inertia that is piqued by the vibrations of the   
   eternally blinking eye which is divinely discernible by the momentum of the   
   untrammeled lens focused    
   upon the sullied Mirror of TrVth ... and that sort of hooey.   
      
   > Although our roles will be adversarial, I look forward to working with you    
   > and hopefully after a day of dualistic arguing, we can share a couple    
   > dozen donuts at the Stealth Hot Dog Stand, although the agency hasn't yet    
   > briefed me on where to find it.   
   >    
   > I did find that my battered, half-century old bus was stocked with several    
   > cases of baked beans which I apparently am expected to eat cold, right out    
   > of the can - which is an upgrade from the spit-filled prison food I ate    
   > for so many years.   
      
   Ah, that was my suggestion.  You need to be extraordinarily flatulent in order   
   to successfully be an FDR... and the CIA equipment mentioned in the poasted   
   job description will keep your pooter running almost nonstop provided you eat   
   your beans every day.    
    I hope you brought nose plugs LOL!   
      
   > If you have any suggestions for new insults, I welcome your input.     
   > "Satanic Ignoramus", "Spiritual Pipsqueak", and "Dithered Demonic Dunce"    
   > have become quite stale and I look forward to exceeding the expectations    
   > of my government employer.   
      
   You're on your own in this department... creativity was a job requirement, I   
   believe but good luck.    
      
   And welcome to AFAB :-)   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)