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   alt.fan.art-bell      The adorable whackjob Art Bell      96,349 messages   

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   Message 95,882 of 96,349   
   barfingyak@gmail.com to Colonel Edmund J. Burke   
   Re: HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER SOLSTICE ON HE   
   25 Jan 19 14:00:48   
   
   On Friday, January 25, 2019 at 10:53:11 AM UTC-6, Colonel Edmund J. Burke   
   wrote:   
   > On 1/24/2019 11:39 AM, barfingyak@gmail.com wrote:   
   > > On Thursday, January 24, 2019 at 12:36:11 PM UTC-6, % wrote:   
   > >> On 2019-01-24 11:22 a.m., Colonel Edmund J. Burke wrote:   
   > >>> HOW I SPENT THE SUMMER SOLSTICE   
   > >>> Day two and counting down to Fall. Yesterday was the longest day of the   
   > >>> year--if you live on or about the equator. Everywhere else it's just a   
   > >>> long day. Speaking of long days, I had one of those yesterday. It   
   > >>> happened like this...... Pleasance dragged me along to JC Penny......and   
   > >>> well......   
   > >>>   
   > >>> eventually she wandered off somewhere by her lonesome. Which left me   
   > >>> milling around the isles for ten minutes or so--looking for her and   
   > >>> beginning to suspect the store dicks thought I was a likely shoplifter.   
   > >>> Then I finally strolled across one. A freakin' chair! If you've ever   
   > >>> been, you know there aren't more than two of 'em in any of those   
   > >>> freakin' Penny stores. I packed my ass into that chair without delay,   
   > >>> settling in for what might be a long wait. It was a nice chair. Metal   
   > >>> frame with an upholstered back and contoured seat that felt good against   
   > >>> my cheeks. But enough of that.   
   > >>>   
   > >>> I glanced around and . . .? Wouldn't you know it, I was plopped down   
   > >>> right in the middle of the fucking bras. Which I pretended not to   
   > >>> notice, lol. Fucking row after goddamn row of fucking bras! Bras to hold   
   > >>> tits I couldn't fondle and suck in ten thousand years. Well...... I just   
   > >>> sat there twiddling my thumbs, thinking about that, passing time.   
   > >>>   
   > >>> But soon my mind began to wander, as it often does, towards other   
   > >>> important matters; and I found myself called to duty with the sizing up   
   > >>> of women's asses. A good place to do just that. Women everywhere. So   
   > >>> then . . . Has it ever crossed your mind . . . about how lots of women   
   > >>> these days have disgusting fat, sloshy asses? Like a twin lumps of   
   > >>> melting Jello in a shithouse--it's "Quanto orribile!" I assaulted my   
   > >>> sensibilities by picturing, in a military mind, what these young women   
   > >>> with "orribile" asses might look like about a decade or so down the   
   > >>> road; and the mental pic reminded me of the old saying, "an ass like a   
   > >>> forty-dollar cow." Surely such lardasses would never grace the pages of   
   > >>> "Cosmo."   
   > >>> The nice firm, tight ass--the Holy Grail benchmark for most men--seemed   
   > >>> the exclusive domain of young teen shoppers, who went about their   
   > >>> business in the B-cup isle. From eighteen on, girls, it's a downhill   
   > >>> toboggan ride for you. I think you know this, too. Of course you do. It   
   > >>> explains why you girls are in such a hurry to get a'hold of a man while   
   > >>> you're still young--while there's still something desirable about you.   
   > >>> Personally, I'm a leg n' ass man, so I appreciate a fine ass, and I'm a   
   > >>> good judge of the same. But enough of that.....   
   > >>>   
   > >>> At any rate, sitting there on my own ass, it slowly dawned upon me that   
   > >>> my presence there amid the bras was not especially unnoticed.  Then some   
   > >>> cow with an ass like a fucking rhinocerous, blockading the entire isle   
   > >>> behind it, despised me a withering glance.  “Like I fucking care,   
   bitch.   
   > >>> Cunt! Nobody would fuck you," I thought. I was just about to get the   
   > >>> hell outa there and go look for Pleasance again when who but she   
   > >>> appeared. When she asked me what I had been doing, I simply said that I   
   > >>> had had enough of asses for one day.   
   > >>>   
   > >>> Colonel Edmund J. Burke   
   > >>> U.S. Army, ret.   
   > >>   
   > >> too bad the summe soltice hasn't happened yet   
   > >    
   > > Most tranny asses stay nice and tight. Very few sag like the melting   
   mozarella cheese-asses of the hags you saw. Some of the tight asses you lusted   
   after could have been attached to trannies shopping for bras.   
   > >    
   >    
   >    
   > You shouldn't call them trannies because that is SO RUDE!  Ladyboy is the   
   better choice.   
      
   I prefer Girlyman. Old school.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)   

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