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|    alt.fan.art-bell    |    The adorable whackjob Art Bell    |    96,349 messages    |
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|    Message 95,889 of 96,349    |
|    Cap'n TrVth to Colonel Edmund J. Burke    |
|    Re: HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER SOLSTICE ON HE    |
|    29 Jan 19 17:20:19    |
      From: evanscreekbrahman@gmail.com              On Thursday, January 24, 2019 at 1:22:53 PM UTC-5, Colonel Edmund J. Burke       wrote:       > HOW I SPENT THE SUMMER SOLSTICE       > Day two and counting down to Fall. Yesterday was the longest day of the       year--if you live on or about the equator. Everywhere else it's just a long       day. Speaking of long days, I had one of those yesterday. It happened like       this...... Pleasance dragged        me along to JC Penny......and well......       >        > eventually she wandered off somewhere by her lonesome. Which left me milling       around the isles for ten minutes or so--looking for her and beginning to       suspect the store dicks thought I was a likely shoplifter. Then I finally       strolled across one. A        freakin' chair! If you've ever been, you know there aren't more than two of       'em in any of those freakin' Penny stores. I packed my ass into that chair       without delay, settling in for what might be a long wait. It was a nice chair.       Metal frame with an        upholstered back and contoured seat that felt good against my cheeks. But       enough of that.       >        > I glanced around and . . .? Wouldn't you know it, I was plopped down right       in the middle of the fucking bras. Which I pretended not to notice, lol.       Fucking row after goddamn row of fucking bras! Bras to hold tits I couldn't       fondle and suck in ten        thousand years. Well...... I just sat there twiddling my thumbs, thinking       about that, passing time.       >        > But soon my mind began to wander, as it often does, towards other important       matters; and I found myself called to duty with the sizing up of women's       asses. A good place to do just that. Women everywhere. So then . . . Has it       ever crossed your mind . . .        about how lots of women these days have disgusting fat, sloshy asses? Like a       twin lumps of melting Jello in a shithouse--it's "Quanto orribile!" I       assaulted my sensibilities by picturing, in a military mind, what these young       women with "orribile" asses        might look like about a decade or so down the road; and the mental pic       reminded me of the old saying, "an ass like a forty-dollar cow." Surely such       lardasses would never grace the pages of "Cosmo."       > The nice firm, tight ass--the Holy Grail benchmark for most men--seemed the       exclusive domain of young teen shoppers, who went about their business in the       B-cup isle. From eighteen on, girls, it's a downhill toboggan ride for you. I       think you know this,        too. Of course you do. It explains why you girls are in such a hurry to get       a'hold of a man while you're still young--while there's still something       desirable about you. Personally, I'm a leg n' ass man, so I appreciate a fine       ass, and I'm a good judge        of the same. But enough of that.....       >        > At any rate, sitting there on my own ass, it slowly dawned upon me that my       presence there amid the bras was not especially unnoticed. Then some cow with       an ass like a fucking rhinocerous, blockading the entire isle behind it,       despised me a withering        glance. “Like I fucking care, bitch. Cunt! Nobody would fuck you," I       thought. I was just about to get the hell outa there and go look for Pleasance       again when who but she appeared. When she asked me what I had been doing, I       simply said that I had had        enough of asses for one day.       >        > Colonel Edmund J. Burke       > U.S. Army, ret.              Jesus H Christ on a pogo-stick, you need to chill with the Ellipses pal. You       only need to mash on that thing 3 times.              Try setting your FCG to "Burst".              -Cap'n TrVth              --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05        * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)    |
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