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   alt.fan.art-bell      The adorable whackjob Art Bell      96,349 messages   

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   Message 95,914 of 96,349   
   barfingyak@gmail.com to Colonel Edmund J. Burke   
   Re: HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER SOLSTICE ON HE   
   02 Feb 19 16:41:14   
   
   On Saturday, February 2, 2019 at 1:45:41 PM UTC-6, Colonel Edmund J. Burke   
   wrote:   
   > On 1/24/2019 10:36 AM, % wrote:   
   > > On 2019-01-24 11:22 a.m., Colonel Edmund J. Burke wrote:   
   > >> HOW I SPENT THE SUMMER SOLSTICE   
   > >> Day two and counting down to Fall. Yesterday was the longest day of the   
   year--if you live on or about the equator. Everywhere else it's just a long   
   day. Speaking of long days, I had one of those yesterday. It happened like   
   this...... Pleasance    
   dragged me along to JC Penny......and well......   
   > >>   
   > >> eventually she wandered off somewhere by her lonesome. Which left me   
   milling around the isles for ten minutes or so--looking for her and beginning   
   to suspect the store dicks thought I was a likely shoplifter. Then I finally   
   strolled across one. A    
   freakin' chair! If you've ever been, you know there aren't more than two of   
   'em in any of those freakin' Penny stores. I packed my ass into that chair   
   without delay, settling in for what might be a long wait. It was a nice chair.   
   Metal frame with an    
   upholstered back and contoured seat that felt good against my cheeks. But   
   enough of that.   
   > >>   
   > >> I glanced around and . . .? Wouldn't you know it, I was plopped down   
   right in the middle of the fucking bras. Which I pretended not to notice, lol.   
   Fucking row after goddamn row of fucking bras! Bras to hold tits I couldn't   
   fondle and suck in ten    
   thousand years. Well...... I just sat there twiddling my thumbs, thinking   
   about that, passing time.   
   > >>   
   > >> But soon my mind began to wander, as it often does, towards other   
   important matters; and I found myself called to duty with the sizing up of   
   women's asses. A good place to do just that. Women everywhere. So then . . .   
   Has it ever crossed your mind .    
   . . about how lots of women these days have disgusting fat, sloshy asses? Like   
   a twin lumps of melting Jello in a shithouse--it's "Quanto orribile!" I   
   assaulted my sensibilities by picturing, in a military mind, what these young   
   women with "orribile"    
   asses might look like about a decade or so down the road; and the mental pic   
   reminded me of the old saying, "an ass like a forty-dollar cow." Surely such   
   lardasses would never grace the pages of "Cosmo."   
   > >> The nice firm, tight ass--the Holy Grail benchmark for most men--seemed   
   the exclusive domain of young teen shoppers, who went about their business in   
   the B-cup isle. From eighteen on, girls, it's a downhill toboggan ride for   
   you. I think you know    
   this, too. Of course you do. It explains why you girls are in such a hurry to   
   get a'hold of a man while you're still young--while there's still something   
   desirable about you. Personally, I'm a leg n' ass man, so I appreciate a fine   
   ass, and I'm a good    
   judge of the same. But enough of that.....   
   > >>   
   > >> At any rate, sitting there on my own ass, it slowly dawned upon me that   
   my presence there amid the bras was not especially unnoticed.  Then some cow   
   with an ass like a fucking rhinocerous, blockading the entire isle behind it,   
   despised me a    
   withering glance.  “Like I fucking care, bitch. Cunt! Nobody would fuck   
   you," I thought. I was just about to get the hell outa there and go look for   
   Pleasance again when who but she appeared. When she asked me what I had been   
   doing, I simply said that    
   I had had enough of asses for one day.   
   > >>   
   > >> Colonel Edmund J. Burke   
   > >> U.S. Army, ret.   
   > >    
   > > too bad the summe soltice hasn't happened yet   
   >    
   > "Summe?"   
   > LOL   
      
   You are homozygous recessive for the mutant schoolmarm gene. Do not breed.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)   

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