From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   	Five star show tonight -- everything was really on.   
      
   Max is:   
   	Applauded for being said ``hi'' to.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Bush's speech said he was sending in 20,000 troops to   
   end the war between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump.   
      
   	- Democrats are seeking support for a nonbinding   
   resolution opposing Bush's deployment of his military escalation.   
    In response Bush said ``Huh?''.  And he had a cracker.   
      
   	- Last season Barry Bonds tested positive for   
   amphetamines.  He says he has no idea how they got mixed up with   
   his steroids.   
      
   	- David Beckham just signed the most expensive contract   
   in sports history, $250 million over five years to play soccer in   
   Los Angeles for five years.  No word what he'll do in two years   
   when the US league folds.   
      
   	- In Alabama a man shot another as they got into an   
   argument over how tall James Brown was.  Never talk with your   
   friens about politics, religion, and the exact height of James   
   Brown.   
      
   	- People magazine printed a shirtless photo of Barack   
   Obama in his bathing suit.  Today he gave a speech in his shorts.   
    La Bamba was offered the photo.   
      
      
      
   It's chilly tonight:   
   	- But Conan just has to pull his microphone and hot   
   chocolate will fall on the audience, scalding them.   
   	   
      
      
   At the MacWorld convention:   
   	- Secrete oils!  Conan doesn't know why he said that.   
      
   	- Commercial for the iPhone: It's a camera, a movie   
   player, a remote control, a bottle opener, an electric razor, a   
   blow drier, a mouse trap, a lip gloss, a condiment dispenser,   
   mace, a cheese grater, a sonogram, a treadmill, a children's   
   thermometer, a portable shower, a bookmark, a hand grenade, a pan   
   flute, sideburns, a prophylactic.  Also a hard-to-use cell phone.   
      
      
      
      
   Donald Trump, Rosie O'Donnell, Barbara Walters:   
   	- Conan wants this kind of publicity.  He needs a fight   
   with someone on The View; only Joy Behar is still free.  He likes   
   her and all, but he needs the feud.  He rips into her over the   
   failure of her imaginary magazine and all that, and challenges   
   the camera switcher.   
      
   	- Max can try starting a feud with the one who's left,   
   the blonde one.  Nobody knows her name.  ``Hey, blonde girl from   
   The View!  You suck.''   
      
      
      
   HornyManatee.com:   
   	- It's got over 18 million hits.  Shaved Manatee, fan art   
   like Victoria's Seacow from Anne O.  Walt W sent Harry Ruby   
   shooting a manatee.  Theresa Z had a manatee snuggling   
   manga-Conan.  La Bamba can have a copy.   
      
   	- January 18, after the show, the manatee does a live   
   online chat, 1:35 am Eastern.  And he slips into a Donald Trump   
   impersonation for no reason I know.  He chats briefly with the   
   manatee.   
      
      
   Hilary Swank:   
   	- Is Conan the Oscar-Maker?  The second Oscar isn't less   
   thrilling.  Conan would put his in holsters, a bad idea.   
      
   	- She likes cooking, eating.  Conan can't cook, but likes   
   gadgets.  She does too; she just got a corn zipper.  It rips the   
   kernels off the corn.  He has a Corn Taser, in case he's   
   attacked.  They both have melon ballers, never used.   
      
   	- Conan starts an anecdote about his Ford Taurus.  She   
   likes driving cross-country inexpensively.  Stayed in   
   $30-and-less motels.  It was ``interesting, at times.''   
   Sometimes challenging.  Mississippi threatened to break her rule.   
    She stopped at an inn at 1 am and explained and asked.  The   
   woman looked curiously at her, but thought it was cool, and let   
   her.  But when she got the credit card bill it was full price.   
   The front desk woman just *said* she did.   
      
   	- She's got a perfume.  Insolence.  Suggests rudeness.   
   She thinks they were trying to get at independence.  Now her   
   friends make fun based on that.  Conan's cologne is Insufferable.   
      
   	- Freedom Riders.  Woman teaches in inner-city school.   
   Based on a true story and, if I'm not reading it wrong, every   
   ``inspirational schoolteacher in inner-city school'' movie ever.   
      
      
   PIerre Bernard's Recliner of Rage   
   	- Recently he wanted to buy a display case for his Hot   
   Wheel cars, including for his Arachnorod, a half-car half-spider   
   hybrid.  He figured his Hot Wheel display cases should go in his   
   bathroom.  Each case has unique problems, like not fitting trucks   
   or holding fewer items and having distracting huge hinges.  He   
   hasn't found the display case he likes.  Bottom line: why can't   
   we build a display case that fits in his bathroom and allows easy   
   access to his Arachnorod?   
      
      
   Artie Lange:   
   	- A woman came up to him and said he was on his side in   
   this feud since Trump was a jerk.  Thought he'd correct her, but,   
   hey ... He remembers Rosie considering her hair, and remarked   
   that with long hair we get to see what Jackie Gleason would look   
   like as a hippie.   
      
   	- He's the only guy who's ever gained weight with   
   cocaine.  Guy asked him if he'd been sprinkling it on   
   cheeseburgers or something.  The War on Drugs has been ridiculous   
   from the start.  His mom actually tried saying ``Hugs are better   
   than drugs'', which he accepted up to his first pot experience.   
      
   	- When did he hit rock bottom?  ``I'll let you know.''   
   It was, as one might expect, on Mad TV.  Had a bit playing Babe   
   the Pig with hours of pig prosthetics.  Called his coke dealer;   
   he rushed off in his pig suit.  Freaked out his drug dealer.   
   Surprised he was on a TV show; his cousin loves the show.  But he   
   can't do the coke through his pig snout.  He has to break his   
   snout.  He needs another hit on a key, next to a woman in a   
   Lamborghini who's watching a pig do coke at a stop light.   
      
      
   Black Keys:   
   	From 'Magic Potion' the pride of Akron, Ohio: ``Your   
   Touch'', I suppose.  I liked it, but sort of as background music   
   than as something to specifically listen to.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)