From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Delayed on the east coast for some reason or other.   
   Max is:   
   	- Awkward.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Saddam Hussein found guilty.  This is apparently a   
   rerun.  His execution won't make a difference to most Americans,   
   but it makes a difference to *him*.  Voters are more likely to   
   vote for good looks and charisma.  Just ask Dennis Hastert.  A   
   picture would have helped.  A Republican candidate refused to   
   pose with Bush -- Mark Foley.  Kirstie Alley's lost weight and   
   showed Oprah, who gave her audience spoons with which to dig out   
   their eyes.  Neil Patrick Harris is gay; he's starring now in   
   'How I Met Your Father'.  Elton John shocked a concert audience   
   by using the F-word fifteen times in under a minute.  It was just   
   what 'Candle in the Wind' needed.  The cue card guy drew a line   
   through Russell Crowe's name, as if to warn Conan off.  Conan can   
   do it all himself with puppets.   
   	   
      
   Late Night Elections:   
   	- Conan thinks he runs uncontested to be Late Night   
   president.  But someone else is running -- a total idiot: La   
   Bamba.  La Bamba has a vision of fair pay, health benefits and   
   charitable donations.  Conan would have the band take acting   
   lessons.  But Conan has a campaign ad just in case La Bamba chose   
   to run.  Rearranging the letters in 'La Bamba' gives 'Osama Bin   
   Laden'.  Plus Bird Flu.  The election turns out close.  But Tim   
   Russert has footage of Conan as a leprechaun, and walking nude by   
   the elevator.  He's La Bamba's twin brother.  La Bamba is   
   declared the new Late Night President.  La Bamba can't read,   
   making the cue cards a problem.   
      
      
   Russell Crowe:   
   	- The movie was shot in Provence, in France.  The movie   
   made wine look irresistably attractive.  Conan was left drinking,   
   shakily, alone, late at night.  But they have some wine which   
   Conan says he's not legally able to pour.  It's a Pinot noir.   
   Conan sniffs it, to look responsible.   
      
   	- He has another movie, Tenderness, and a gangster movie   
   with Denzel Washington.  Crowe got to meet Scotty, a guy who gave   
   him valuable advice.  He'd been the police advisor and had taken   
   his mug shot.   
      
   	- He likes toget his hands on his cows.  He has 600 cows.   
    It's a lot of work, but that's over a lot of time.  Cows are not   
   so docile and unathletic as you might think.  For one vast stunt   
   the handler thought the cows would run where the path said; Crowe   
   expected they'd run up the mountain.  He demanded an ice cream   
   from the stunt coordinator to not say 'I told you so'.   
   	   
      
   How To Use Touch-Screen Voting Machines:   
   	- Paul Sneed doesn't have a voting machine, but he's made   
   a version out of a frozen yogurt dispensor, and the propositions   
   out of the toppings.  Gay marriage is the rainbow sprinkles.  He   
   uses the New York Cheesecake for Democrat, with tax reform and   
   minimum wage, gay marriage, and some get-the-boys-out-of-Iraq   
   chocolate syrup.  Voting absentee is just a matter of throwing it   
   in the envelope and mail it to the voting board.  No crime in   
   voting twice; he gulps it down through the nozzle.   
   	   
   	   
   Jorge Garcia:   
   	- He helped Conan out with his intro for the Emmys.   
   Conan needed *lots* of makeup.   
      
   	- He gets hugged a lot, seen as very cuddly by strangers.   
    He gets a nice gamut of fan mail.  One fan wrote a lot, sending   
   two bags of diet tea and a Slim-Fast coupon, plus letters to   
   other people on the show asking him to deliver to them.  He did.   
      
   	- In Los Angeles he lives near a gay porn theater.  Shot   
   of an angry La Bamba.  Marquee says 'Open 8 am.'  Porn hits a new   
   level when you have to set an alarm.   
      
   	- They're getting action figures!  HIs is very detailed.   
   His hair looks like coral, another island mystery.  It's not   
   posable.  He's got a couple audio clips, at least.  Fans may miss   
   the show during the hiatus, but he's still got it in life.  The   
   toys are so fans can make their own episodes.   
      
      
   Dean Karnazes:   
   	- Ran 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 consecutive days.   
   He's dead.   
      
   	- Conan couldn't believe it.  He could run seventeen feet   
   in fifty states.  Why isn't he dead?  He had to be on the show.   
   He actually got stronger; the last race was his best, finishing   
   in three hours.  When will he run tonight?  Maybe tonight; he   
   feels a little funny not running.   
      
   	- He needs five to six thousand calories a day.  It's a   
   great diet, except you have to run and run and run and run, and   
   run and run and run.  He has to eat while running, like boxes of   
   cookies.  He eats pizza while running ... they deliver to him.   
   He rolls the pizza into a sort of log.  He did Chinese take-out,   
   too.  Drink it out of the box.   
      
   	- He started out with bad tequila, walking out of a bar   
   on his 30th birthday.  He ran across Death Valley when it was 124   
   degrees out, but it was a dry heat.  You have to run down the   
   white line, the coolest part, so the sneakers don't melt.  He's   
   planning to run across the ocean.  On a big inflatable hamster   
   wheel, which is how Hurley (from Lost) will get saved.   
      
   	- He thinks he's picked for this by not being very   
   bright.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)