From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   String dance is back.   
   Max is:   
   	- There.  At those drums.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Arnold Schwarzenegger is recovering from his broken   
   leg.  He's taking only a little pain medication because it   
   gargles his speech.  He broke his leg in 1974.  Verne Troyer,   
   Mini-Me, is in rehab.  He hit bottom when he fell into a tequila   
   shot.  In the 50s Britain and France talked about uniting.   
   France wanted to be in charge of the Army and England wanted to   
   be in charge of the food.  The most erotic scent is lavender and   
   pumpkin pie.  Who doesn't get turned on smelling an old lady at   
   Thanksgiving?  Miss New Jersey USA had to step down for getting   
   pregnant.  But now she's qualified to be Miss Tennessee.  Britney   
   Spears left a club with a new boyfriend; she vomited on him.   
   Music experts call it her best release in years.   
      
      
   	Conan's monitor broke; he can't see himself.  They take   
   out a TV remote.  His desk microphone doesn't work either.  And   
   the window is fake.  The phone is off the hook.  He has a blue   
   bucket.  (Why?)   
      
      
   The Canary's Dead Sketch:   
   	- Max said 'Ho do a, Cannon.'   
      
      
   HornyManatee.com:   
   	- Live chat after tomorrow night's show.  Looking at a   
   giant carpet sample fondle itself.   
      
      
      
   The Weather Channel: The Complete First Season DVD   
   	- With director commentary.  Digital remastering.  2,850   
   discs.  Future season box sets to come.  From the Best of the TV   
   Guide Channel, volume 1-80, people.   
      
      
      
   Brian Williams:   
   	- Thunder Road as intro music.  What was that strange   
   smell in New York City?  They blamed it on New Jersey   
   immediately.  He's from New Jersey, you can tell the Exxon versus   
   the Shell refinery, or the Fresh Kills landfill.  It didn't smell   
   like home.   
      
   	- What does George W Bush smell like?  (This sounds   
   ridiculous, but it is an interesting question.)  He smelled of   
   Purell.  Presidents shake hundreds of hands, after all.  Clinton   
   he saw eating pie with his hands.  Pumpkin, with lavender scent?   
   They got him sanitizing foam.  Many celebrities don't like   
   shaking hands.  (I don't either.)   
      
   	- Bono drew a raccoon mask on Brian Williams's lightbox   
   poster.   
      
   	- TIki Barber wants to be a news anchor.  Conan and Brian   
   tease about football teams.  Just about anyone could host a   
   late-night talk show.  Brian Williams intends to join the New   
   York Giants.   
      
   	- Brack Obama's biography admits he smoked pot and did   
   cocaine.  Will it affect his presidential run?  Well, it's why he   
   put it in the book.  We'll find out.  Al Gore admitted to smoking   
   pot.  It's going to be a *fun* election.   
      
   	- Brian Williams received the DuPont/Columbia Award for   
   Katrina coverage.  Also the Peabody, the Emmy, and four Edward R   
   Murrow awards.   
      
      
   Conan Needs Time Out for Himself:   
   	- They go to Joe's, the bar.  They don't like him there.   
   He has a huge bar tab.  Nobody wants to see his name carved in   
   the wall.  They took out the juke box because he kept playing   
   Clay Aiken.  But Conan feels better.   
      
      
   Dominic Purcell:   
   	- His hair used to be as nice as Conan's, but the role   
   called for otherwise.  After a while it gets boring.  He freaked   
   out a woman in Wal-Mart who remembered him from something about   
   breaking out of prison.   
      
   	- He's from Australia, but hasn't much accent.  When he   
   fights with his wife, she insists he talk Australian.   
   Australian's a bit piratey.  Purcell shows off Muppet Australian,   
   spoken in Queensland.   
      
   	- He was a Marlboro Man.  For the Philippines.  He   
   sitting on a boat, in rapids, with a cigarette wired to his   
   finger, and he holds the cigarette above the water rather than   
   get his head above water.  Got $50,000 for almost drowning.   
      
   	- His show's producers asked him to not get a tan.  He   
   had to stop surfing to be pasty and white.  Not like Conan.   
   	   
      
   Dana Gould:   
   	- Got married.  He has kids.  Adopted, from China.  Her   
   Mom asked if they'd teach them English.  Women will often applaud   
   them for adopting and want to ask about it.  He won't tell them,   
   'pie-eyed lunatic at the airport.'  Why did he adopt?  Everyone   
   in his family is nuts in one way or another.  BUt he kids his   
   family.  Like dad, he has two emotions, rage and suppressed rage.   
    Really old people will reminisce fondly about horrible things.   
      
   	- To get married he had to learn how to fight.  He   
   expected his wife would do something to drive him insane, he'd   
   not say anything, and later die of cancer.  It's always something   
   innocuous that drives him insane, like sending him to the store   
   with a list with items wthat don't exist.  Maple-flavored vodka   
   pops?  Sunny Harvest Li'l Cobra Bites.  Why did he buy cupcake   
   mix and not cupcake tin liners?  Because he's not a cupcake   
   expert.  He doesn't make his own cupcakes like some kind of   
   animal.  But that doesn't end; they'll go on arguing like   
   Stallone and Carl Weathers at Rocky II.  'If you died and came   
   back as a turtle I woudln't feed you? Is that what you're   
   saying?'   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)