From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max is:   
   	- Alienated.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Hillary Clinton's campaigning.  She suggested she knows how to   
   deal with evil and bad men from her husband. Explains why she wants to   
   look for bin Laden at Hooters.  A branch of the Iranian National Bank is   
   opening in Bagdad.  People who open an account will receive 72 virgins   
   and a toaster.  Prince Charles went to Harlem and played basketball.   
   Worst display of an obscenely rich non-athlete playing basketball since   
   the Knicks game.  The NFL is recruiting players in China.  Chinese teams   
   include the Bengals, the Dolphins, and several other local delicacies.   
   The Church of England is using U2's music in The U2-Charist.  Church   
   officials hope it will be more popular than the Motley Crue-cifixion.   
   Kentucky police arrested a man with 80 pounds of marijuana in his car   
   tires.  They were suspicious when Snoop Dogg chased the car for two   
   miles.  Michael Jackson plans a fan appreciation event in Japan,   
   charging $3300 to shake his hand.  It's free for kids under twelve.   
   It's an excellent show if they can just get a different host.   
      
      
      
   If They Mated:   
   	Justin Timberlake, Scarlett Johannsen: It's Macauley Culkin.  Or   
   Denise Crosby.   
   	   
   	Josh Hartnett, Sierra Miller: Even worse eyesight for the child.   
      
   	   
   	Cameron Diaz, Kelly Slater: Something Courtney Coxy.  I think   
   it's a microcephaic Mary Tyler Moore.   
   	   
   	Amy Poehler, Will Arnett: Amy Poehler is married?  They get a   
   Conehead Conan.   
   	   
   	Martha Stewart, Anthony Hopkins: It's depressing everybody.   
   Kind of a Dark Crystal thing.   
   	   
   	Bruce Willis, Drew Barrymore: (``Bit of an age gap, but ... my   
   wife's eleven.'')  He doesn't understand anything of it.  There's the   
   Conan gene in it.   
   	   
   	Donald Trump, audience groans but came of their won free will,   
   Rosie O'Donnell: It's a Supermarionation doll.   
      
      
      
   Brad Garrett:   
   	- He's over eleven feet tall.  Conan doesn't look nine feet   
   tall; hte hair is six feet of it.  He was giant at 13.  The first time   
   they went to Disneyland Mom said ``if we get lost, meet at Brad.''  He's   
   got two kids.  I got distracted a moment and suddenly they were on to   
   Herman Munster.  Ray Romano is a nice guy, but kind of finicky; he wears   
   a Purell jumpsuit.  He gets fussy about washed fruits.  Los Vegas   
   actually has Casino 'War'.  One guy in the audience knows what Vegas is.   
    If there were Hungry Hungry Hippos in Vegas Conan would be at it all   
   the time, in a white suit.  Then there was something about Frank Sinatra   
   getting his name wrong.  (The water pipes were running.)  He'd started   
   doing involuntary medleys: ``That summer wind ... is a tramp.''  New   
   show, getting whomped by Telemundo.  But Fox is moving them to after   
   'American Idol'.  He's gotten to turning down movies he's not up for.   
   Max is a stage name, and he does an Irish ... thing.   
      
      
   Conan's Daughter:   
   	- And wife!  But that's not their daughter: she's an actress,   
   proving how out of touch Conan is.  Their daughter's nine months old.   
   Conan will come home earlier.  It wasn't his wife.  Neither is she.  But   
   that guy's his son, right?  Adopted?  Conan forgot Fernando.  Fernardo.   
   He hates him.  It's a weird day at work.  It's the woman from the long   
   distance company on the phone.  Conan's wife wants him home in an hour.   
      
      
      
      
   Sarah Silverman:   
   	- She plays Sarah Silverman in her show out of laziness.  Her   
   sister's on the show.  She suggests her sister should probably be funny   
   on her own show.  On the show her 'parents' are dead.  Her real parents   
   ... it was awkward.  Her parents believed her excuse.  As a child she   
   was a bedwetter.  Even as a teen.  She used to think it was the deepest,   
   darkest secret of her life.  Elvis Presley saved her life.  In first   
   grade Heather Paul, as always, had a sleepover party; Sarah wasn't   
   prepared and she borrowed her pajamas.  She woke up soaking wet,   
   paralyzed with fear.  She just changed and put the pajamas on the floor.   
    Her mother, Mrs Paul, not of the fish sticks, stepped on it and   
   demanded to know who did it.  But just then news of Elvis Presley's   
   death came in, and changed the subject completely.  And by a stroke of   
   luck, she's got a guitar.  They turn the lights down, which looks pretty   
   good on the matte painting.  It's a song from lunch with some friends.   
   She tried a flatulence-based song.  A reference to `retarded' gets   
   blanked out, it sounds like.   
      
      
   Peter Bjorn and John, with special guest Victoria Bergemen(?)   
   	- From Sweden, From 'Writer's Block': It was a bit low-key for   
   me to guess at a title, but I liked the sound.  ``We don't care about   
   the old folks''?  They had a Peter Bjorn and John and Conan T-shirt, and   
   Conan will sue over it.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)