From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max is:   
   	- Losing them.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Bush visited the New York Stock Exchange.  He wanted to meet   
   Dow Jones.  Arnold S is considering a ban on selling incandescent light   
   bulbs; he's tired of saying incandescent.  He always talks about how his   
   Arnold always bits a sausage afterwards.  Russia has its beauty pageant   
   for nuclear power workers; last year's winner had the most beautiful   
   three eyes.  Barry Bonds' agent thinks he could hit a thousand home   
   runs, but he's on more drugs than Barry Bonds.  An 84-year-old man won   
   $250 million in the lottery.  He wants it paid out gradually over the   
   next 20 days.  Michael Jackson's father Joe was locked out of Michael's   
   home.  They don't let *any* angry parents in.  41 percent chance of a   
   great show tonight.   
      
      
      
   Armed and Famous is cancelled:   
   	- Max loses his appearance.  Alan has a clip.  Max shoots a guy   
   for littering.   
      
      
      
   HornyManatee.com:   
   	- Other shows are on their coattails.  The boo sign still works.   
    Heroes riffs on a manatee on the Internet.  1 versus 100 had the   
   manatee in.  Conan asks for 'NoHornymanateeFreeRides@hornymanatee.com'   
   tips.   
      
      
   Actual Items:   
   	- Appleton, WI, Eagle.  Cruise line.  Ask about 'Ship Sails   
   Without You' adventure package.   
   	   
   	- Crown Point, IN, Sentinal.  Guinea pigs.  As seen on Donald   
   Trump's head.   
   	   
   	- Staten Island, NY, Sun.  Country Club.  Join soon!  These   
   housewives aren't going to bang themselves!   
   	   
   	- Fresno, CA, Tribune.  Collectible plate with a dog on it.  The   
   same expression George W Bush makes during Wheel of Fortune.   
   	   
   	- Tampe, AZ, Times.  Football equipment.  All the preotective   
   gear you'll need to tell your parents about the guy you met in Cancun.   
   	   
   	- Upper Darby, PA, Chronicle.  The Doodlebops.  Every single   
   seat still available!   
   	   
   	- Newburgh, NY, Post.  Heart-shaped pillows.  We Miss You   
   Saddam.   
   	   
   	- Stockbridge, MA, Post.  American historical figurines that   
   talk.  Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is fear   
   itself.  Thomas Jefferson: All men are created equal.  Ben Franklin:   
   Pardon me, Miss, have you ever seen a Philadelphia 'Trouser Snake'?   
      
      
   Sienna Miller:   
   	- She was curious about an If They Mated on her with Josh   
   Hartnett.  It looks vaguely Sulu-ish.  She thinks it's funny.  She's on   
   Esquire.  She has a monkey on her shoulder; it didn't like her.  She   
   likes to hang glide.  Did her friend want the extreme bungee jump?  They   
   joked about the rope not being attached.  Her movie is about the Andy   
   Warhol factory.   
      
      
      
   Woman in the Audience:   
   	- Keeps getting put on camera for no obvious reason.  She starts   
   doing 'Can't Touch This'.  And other video effects about looking sexy,   
   too.  She wants to run for President.  She squeezes Conan out of the   
   frame.   
      
      
   Goran Visnjic:   
   	- He thought his character had killed the most patients on ER.   
   Is he getting comfortable dispensing medical advice?  It's a trap.  Just   
   like this topic which is brought up for every ER guest.  He's tried   
   telling jokes, but it doesn't seem to work; he thinks he's funnier than   
   other people do.  Translated jokes: Conan doesn't get really funny jokes   
   from Siberia or so.  'Why does a man go down the street?'  'Because he   
   has brown bread in his shoes!'  They'll film some ER in Croatia.   
   There's some feedback somewhere.   
      
   Paul Weller:   
   	- With 'Hit Parade' CD out: Couldn't make out the lyrics with   
   the TV turned way down like I had it.   
      
      
   Closing credits:   
   	- They go on long enough to see Conan crawling over the set   
   before cutting way to the repeated midshow sketch!   
   	   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)