From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max is:   
   	- Normal.  I suspect they're teasing me.   
   	   
      
   Conologue:   
   	- First Superbowl with both coaches black.  Michael Richards   
   doesn't know who to root against.  At a Rome fashion show a line of   
   dresses with pictures of Hillary Clinton's face were featured; Bill   
   Clinton said finally, Hillary's face on another woman's body.  Iowa   
   governor Tom Vilsak's staff is handing out boxes of popcorn for   
   promotion.  He wants voters to go into the booth and ask the question of   
   who gave them the most popcorn.  Exxon Mobil posted the largest profit   
   in US history, 39.5 billion.  They're renaming themselves Exxon Oprah.   
   Linday Lohan told a friend she misses McDonald's and sex.  Also drinking   
   and crashing her car.  The most popular new senior citizen pastime is   
   surfing the web.  This explains the success of the web site Girls Gone   
   Wrinkled.   
      
      
   Last Night with Serena Williams:   
   	- She wore diamond earrings last night.  They played Wii tennis.   
    ``I'm the one on the right'' sporting the 1977 tennis shorts and   
   skeleton legs.  One of her earrings fell off.  They couldn't find it.   
   It's on loan from Harry Winston and worth $75,000.  They can't afford   
   that.  Conan found his desk and isn't wearing pants.  It's unthinkable   
   that someone might have swiped it (cut to Max), they'd need to have no   
   scruples (cut to Max), maybe someone with gambling debts and a stable of   
   mistresses (cut to Max), Conan won't speculate ... Write at Late Night   
   Mystery Thief (see Max), 30 Rock.   
      
      
   Groundhog Day:   
   	- Punxsutawney Phil didn't see his shadow and was thrown into   
   the air; he bounced three times.  In 30 Rock it's Ground Vigoda Day.  As   
   for the past 128 years, town elders will knock on Abe Vigoda's tree   
   stump, and if the sleeping Vigoda appears, it means he's still alive.   
   Conan, with a Merv for a beard, is a town elder.  His moustache needs   
   more glue.  Max and Joel are in outfit and beard too.  Mx looks Hasidic.   
    1879's was really special; so was the 1967 Summer of Love; and the   
   unfortunate year when Abe had rabies.  Daughter Helen and wife Tiffany   
   Ann are happy to see.  The ceremonial ground Vigoda day battering ram is   
   there, and a prerecorded drumroll comes ... ``Abe?  Abe, are you alive   
   in there?''  He's alive!  And looking good, one must say.   
      
      
   Charlize Theron:   
   	- She tried to get into movies when she was 18.  She was called   
   for something Saturday 10 pm at the director's house; she only thought   
   it was odd.  He was wearing pinstriped pajamas.  She was hired by him   
   later; he said he didn't remember her, but advised she lose eight   
   pounds.  She'd had a crush on Richard Dean Anderson, MacGuyver.  But,   
   you know, crushes and all and she's not allowed within 100 feet of him.   
   She's had a boyfriend for six years now.  He's not like MacGuyver, but   
   collects rocks.  Also dirt.   
   	   
   	- She can do dialects.  She thought the hardest was Minnesota.   
   Flying to Minnesota in the middle of winter suddenly made it make   
   perfect sense.  To speak Southern just sit in a rocking chair drinking a   
   mint julep.  They get on Guinness.  Conan can't believe ``Fargo'' is a   
   real Minnesotan accent and gets stuck in it.  In East of Havana,   
   documentary, she sees hip-hop stars in Cuba.   
      
      
   Late Night Betting Pool:   
   	- Kenny explains.  Grid of 100 squares, $20 per square.  Your   
   numbers are bears 3, Colts 7, so if the scores end in 3 and 7 like 27   
   and 23, Conan wins, minus the corners, which get $100 each.  So Conan   
   can't win as much as $1600 because of the coin toss bet.  He has two odd   
   numbers, so he wants the Colts to win the coin toss  Two evens is Bears.   
    One-and-one is betting on heads.  Unless there's blacktop at halftime   
   they double down, until -- there's something with Dominos being the last   
   ad, Colts using up time outs, defensive back ejected for mooning --   
   Conan could win as much as ten bucks.   
   	   
      
   Bill Hader:   
   	- He used to impersonate Al Pacino giving a speech to a film   
   crew on the first day of a film shoot, back in the stand-up comedy   
   circuit.  `I love film.  I love women.  I love art.  i love kangaroos.'   
   When Conan was there it was an incredibly last-minute affair; it's the   
   same.  He got told he was doing a Kramer impersonation the day before   
   the show started; he found a hook, at least.  Impersonations he's liked   
   but which are useless?  He can do a tonton from Empire Strikes Back.   
   (He can, too.)  He's married, to a Star Wars fan.  He knew they'd marry   
   when she found she had Star Wars curtains.  He worked as   
   post-coordinator on The Surreal Life, and had to cut together MC Hammer   
   and Emmanuel Lewis's dance footage for something Conan would do.  Conan   
   remembers how that post-coordinator had his stuff together.  He had   
   interactions with Corey Feldman.  Corey Feldman fans in the audience?   
   Think what you just asked.  They had the wrap party, before any episodes   
   aired.  He offered $2,000 to send each episode to his house so his   
   lawyers could review them.  ``Corey, you don't have two thousand   
   dollars.''  And he cried for nine weeks.   
      
      
   Stars of Track and Field:   
   	- `Centuries Before Love and War': Couldn't make out the lyrics,   
   but was the yellow light effect for the background new?   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)