From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max is:   
   	- Professional yet devoid of real emotion.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Max was too busy for the Super Bowl.  Indianapolis coach   
   because the first black coach to win a Super Bowl; Bush thought he was   
   great in the half-time show.  In New York City the wind chill was below   
   zero; Donald Trump huddled up to Rosie for warmth.  He'll have Conan   
   beaten by gold robots.  Arnold S is in trouble after tapes surfaced him   
   saying negative things about other Republicans; the tapes surfaced last   
   year but were only deciphered this week.  He always talks about always   
   eating a sausage.  Whitney Houston asked for a speed-up to her divorce   
   proceedings; she wants the 14-year cycle of drugs and abuse to end   
   before it gets ugly.  He'll keep moving.  The other day in India   
   archaeologists found dozens of 150-million-year old eggs in the   
   refrigerator section of a 7-Eleven.  In Atlantic City a woman gave birth   
   in a casino; it was the only thing to come out of a slot all day.   
      
      
   Walkover music is Kelly Clarkson; Conan gets into it an alienates his   
   viewership.   
      
      
   Serena Williams's Missing Earring:   
   	- They found it!  It fell into a pocket on her dress.  This was   
   good because Conan was worried someone might have stolen it (Max).  It'd   
   have to be someone devoid of basic human decency (Max).  Someone   
   desperate for cash after paternity suits and the like.  Write to Late   
   Night Low-Life Scum Crimes.   
      
      
   Where's the Sears Tower in Sears Clothing?   
   	- He's walking the streets, considering suicide.  Jumps off a   
   building.  You don't often see a building jump off a building.  Was it   
   the Sears Tower screaming like a girl or a woman seeing him screaming   
   like a girl?   
   	   
      
   New State Quarters:   
   	- New Jersey: #1 in chemical refineries.   
   	   
   	- Washington: Shhh!  Bush thinks he lives here.   
   	   
   	- Nevada: where strippers have been tossing scalding water on   
   their manager/boyfriend since 1948.   
   	   
   	- Alaska: if Al Gore is right, we'll be the only state with   
   comfortable weather.  Applause mixed with worry for our planet.   
   	   
   	- Ohio: Now a wholly owned subsidiary of Wal-mart.   
   	   
   	- Rhode Island: Where David Spade comes to feel big.   
   	   
   	- Maine: Most of our lobsters kill themselves out of boredom.   
   It's hard for a lobster to fire a gun.   
   	   
   	- Oregon: Come for the pot, stay for the ... whatever.   
   	   
   	- Mississippi: Hey, Albama, that's not a chigger infestation ...   
   *this* is a chigger infestation.   
   	   
   	- California: Come see Britney's vagina!   
   	   
      
      
   Kristen Chenoweth:   
   	- At signings people tell her she's short.  She tries to thank   
   them.  When she stands up she's as tall as sitting Conan, if he pumps up   
   his hair.  She's got no torso.  Boobs-waist, long legs.  She posed   
   sexily for a Playbill cover and got a surprise visit from a fire   
   company, for whom she agreed to wear a push-up bra. She sings all week.   
   Fans will write cute little notes on the board; in New York the notes   
   are obscene.  She'll be mistaken for a child when trying to order things   
   on the phone; Conan gets that too.  She gives an example of arpeggioing.   
    She tries to get Conan to sincerely sing; he's inexperienced but not   
   bad for his usual attempts to act incompetent.  There's fear in his   
   eyes.  He's got a loose jaw and good diaphragm.  Last time she got in   
   trouble for giving vocal exercises of ``Hey you over there!'' to Conan.   
   There's a love song to Conan.  It's not his singing, it sours the milk.   
   Although he knows a multitude of things they're mostly wrong.  I love   
   his red hair, or is it orange, it doesn't matter, he still can't sing.   
   And though he's handsome ... well, kinda sorta ... he's really tall and   
   she's really short.  What makes me love him?  It's quite beyond me.  It   
   must be something I can't define except his genius and his comedy, and   
   makes people smile.   
      
      
      
   Golden Age of Radio Ghost:   
   	- From the 'NBC Radio Hour', which I imagine would have been on   
   the Red network.  We'd love to hear his old songs.  For the farmers:   
   'Oh, the farmers say they need a helping hand, but I say we should kick   
   them off the land.  We'll send in lots of cops and burn down all their   
   crops and turn their pastures into desert sand.'  One man's backbone is   
   another man's parasite.  For the ladies: 'Women shouldn't disagree with   
   men.  If they do they should be locked up in a pen.  We'll shackle 'em   
   with chains and lobotomize their brains to make sure they don't disagree   
   again.  Lobotomy lou.'  He's got an Irish song. 'Oh, the Irish shouldn't   
   be allowed to breed.  They already have more drunkards than we need.   
   They're all just lazy slobs who want to take away our jobs, and they cut   
   their fingers whiskey's all they breed, whiskety woo.'  Cute use of the   
   exact same song over and over and over again, and as I recall, last time   
   they did this bit too that I saw it.   
      
      
   Mindy Kaling:   
   	- She was a script intern on the show six years ago!  It was a   
   fun experience.  So were (John Krasinski?  Angela Kinsey?  Some other   
   folks from The Office).  Plus Harrison Ford, Morgan Freeman, and   
   Charleton Heston.  She was carrying scripts up in an elevator, Conan saw   
   her, asked her major.  She said 'Art history,' which was a lie.  Conan   
   said it was great, but had a follow-up question, and she desperately   
   hoped the door would open so she could bolt out.  She had a show, but   
   the WB auditioned the parts based on her own life, and didn't get it.   
   She and her friend were thought not convincing enough for the WB.  Steve   
   Carrell is a nice guy to work with.  She met him by grabbing and hugging   
   him because she thought he was his boyfriend, who looked like him.  But   
   he took it surprisingly well.   
      
      
   The Slip:   
   	- 'Eisenhower'.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)