From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max is:   
   	- Legally meeting the requirement of answering Conan's question.   
      
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Bush is planning a trip to Mexico in March; he looks forward   
   to Cinqo de Marcho.  Lisa Nowak's feat was was done by a Russian monkey   
   last year.  The FDA approved over-the-counter weight loss pills.  It   
   will be sold at Arby's.  An Italian soccer league is forcing teams to   
   play with no fans in the stadium, like in the United States.  PBS is   
   airing a new Dracula.  They take away Dracula's complimentary tote bag,   
   a joke getting exactly what Conan thought it would get.  The New York   
   Post reports Britney Spears and her new boyfriend broke up.  She wasn't   
   serious about him; he was a rebound loser.  Former NBA player John   
   Amaechi is the first openly gay NBA player.  His teammates remember him   
   as one always ready to put his head down and take the ball hard to the   
   hole.   
   	   
   	- The soccer joke was done by Letterman too.   
   	   
   	- The Russians didn't use monkeys as test animals; the United   
   States did.  The United States last used a monkey (specifically, a   
   chimpanzee) as a test animal in 1961.  It flew exactly two chimpanzees   
   (though sounding rocket experiments earlier flew more).  Can we *please*   
   retire the 'monkeys in space' jokes, *please*?   
      
      
   Max tries to preserve his voice, important for a drummer.   
      
      
   America's 150 Favorite Works of Architecture:   
   	- The Empire State Building was number one.  #42 was Chicago's   
   Sears Tower.  This upset the Sears Tower dressed in Sears Clothing.  To   
   move him up the list, he's got breast implants.   
   	   
      
   Late Night Scooter Libby Obstruction of Justice Trial Small Talk Moment:   
   	- Max seems to stumble on his small talk.  Conan goes into the   
   United States Code.   
      
      
   New Sponsor:   
   	- Cosmo Dipes, for when you're an adulterous astronaut.  It's   
   enough for an Interstate Murder Plot.  It guarantees driving from Cape   
   Canaveral to the Johnson Space Center.   
      
      
   Bob Costas:   
   	- Bob compliments how Max looked with the diaper on.  (My dad   
   asked if Max had any self-respect.)  Bob asks if Lisa Nowak had a gas   
   tank good for 1000 miles.  Maybe her judgement centers were impaired in   
   some way.  Bob asks if she didn't need some Tang, another tired   
   astronaut joke.  Great for tabloid headlines, 'Dark Side of the Loon',   
   'Ground Control to Jealous Mom', 'Astro-Naughty', 'Lost in Space', all   
   from the New York Times.  Bob went to the Super Bowl as a fan, but   
   learned trivia, like Super Bowl Sunday is the busiest day of the year   
   for companies providing strippers.  Charlie Sheen's birthday is second.   
   The Bowl for the 41st time had both punters be white.  Defective rim   
   shot.  USA Today said Kevin Federline's commercial was the worst-rated,   
   but most thought it was his finest work.  Elaborate rim shot.  Bob's   
   recognized even by homeless guys.  One late night he saw John Gotti in a   
   restaurant; Gotti wanted to buy him a drink.  He liked Bob's work; what   
   should he say back?  Gotti leaned to the person next and said, 'Bob   
   Costas, Sportscaster'.  Bob leaned to his and whipsered 'John Gotti,   
   murderer'.  Barry Bonds is 22 home runs from Hank Aaron's record, even   
   though everyone admits he's on steroids.  It'll be bizarre if he breaks   
   the record, particularly if he breaks the record outside San Francisco.   
   It makes the records of baseball screwy.  He could get a Conologue-type   
   silence.  Max rimshots.  `Costas Now' is an interesting title for a   
   taped show.   
      
      
   Dr Phil Secrets:   
   	- He doesn't really have a Texas accent.  It's really just the   
   result of getting hit in the head with a snow shovel.   
   	   
   	- People are asking what he got his doctorate in.  Fair   
   question.  Fact is, he has a PhD in none of your krunking business from   
   Shut Your Fat Face University.  Good question though.   
   	   
   	- Dr Phil, Dr Phil, how can I make my partner more like me?  I   
   dunno, do like me and accept them for the captured hitchhiker they are.   
      
      
      
   Ashley Tisdale:   
   	- How do young kids respond to her Disney Channel Fame?  A   
   five-year-old asked her if she was Ashley Tinsdale because she had her   
   face.  She could have said ``No, I'm not her, but I still have her   
   face!''  She encounters weird adult fans.  ``Daddy's favorite''?  It   
   must baffle people who don't watch Disney Channel.  Conan's had people   
   come up and ask ``who are you?'' because they can't *quite* identify   
   him.  While I ate a Tostito somehow the conversation got onto Sunny   
   Delight.  ``Wow, it's orange juice, only somehow much better!''  She was   
   one of those kids, apparently.  In filming food commercials she'd eat   
   the food instead of using the spit bucket between takes.  In a day she   
   was tired of Sunny Delight for life.  Tiger Beat, J-14, Conan was   
   reading, saw Bob Costas in the magazine.  It's part of Bob's effort to   
   reach out to people who don't know what Tang is.  She had a meeting with   
   Simon Cowell.  She's got a CD, Headstrong.  She bought a copy for good   
   luck.  They were playing it in the store.   
      
      
   Josh Groban:   
   	- From 'Awake': Couldn't make out the title, but there was some   
   interesting direction here, including a fair-speed zoom out while he   
   held one note, that I don't remember noticing before.   
   	   
   	- Somebody had a tattoo of his face on her arm and showed it   
   backstage.  He signed it; now she's using it on bank checks.  At a   
   Dodgers game he was accused of being James Woods.  The other guy said no,   
   he was Napoleon Dynamite.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)