From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max is:   
   	- Very reverent, somewhat odd   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Many cancelled Valentine's plans for the storm; Bill Clinton   
   had to spend the evening with Hillary.  Many florists couldn't make   
   their flowering deliveries; men are also blaming the weather for the   
   lipstick on their collars and porn in their basements.  The New York   
   Post had a headline reading 'Osama' instead of 'Obama'; they apologized   
   and said it will happen again.  Bush warned about the threat from Iran;   
   he admitted he took an old Iraq speech and replaced all the q's with   
   n's.  WalMart is trying to attract more upscale customers, first by   
   taking down the signs that say 'WalMart'.  Maybe 'Le Walmart'.  NASCAR   
   penalized a racing team for using a banned substance, Barry Bonds'   
   urine.  Courtney Cox denies she has a makeout session with Jennifer   
   Anniston on her upcoming show, which is being cancelled.  Michael   
   Jackson is upset he couldn't get tickets to the NBA All-Star Game, but   
   felt better when he learned Jason Kidd is full-grown.   
   	   
      
   Walkover Music: was so loud it broke Conan's brain.  They typically   
   start with, like, two feathers rubbed together by La Bamba.  He'll sue   
   for all that E Street Band money.  It was the Born in the USA beat.   
   Don't pay it, they'd have to pay Bruce.  Conan doesn't quite know the   
   words anyway.  Max thought Conan had the lyrics good.   
      
      
   Satellite TV:   
   	- CNN, Weather Channel.   
   	   
   	- Meet the Press for Idiots.  Bad Southern accents.  You know   
   the punchline.   
   	   
   	- Outer Patience, Inner Rage.  ``You're welcome.'' ``You ruined   
   my day!''   
   	   
   	- Rosie O'Donnel/Donald Trump Morph Network.  That broke Conan's   
   brain.   
   	   
   	- God Trying To Bond With His Son Jesus Channel.  Baseball,   
   fishing, beating up Satan (Jesus lets Satan up and gives him a baseball   
   bat).   
   	   
   	- Bad Trip Deal or No Deal.   
   	   
   	- Serial Killers with Obsessive/Compulsive Disorders.  The   
   midnight slasher is foiled by a quirky doorknob.  I'd have expected him   
   to call off his attack when it was 12:01.   
      
      
      
   Nicolas Cage:   
   	- Conan's favorite part is in Peggy Sue Got Married.  He almost   
   got fired for his voice, inspired by Pokey (they keep a photo of Gumby   
   and Pokey on hand).  ``Next time, Gumby, use your own go-cart.''  He   
   finds he's using it more and more, and by accident.  He eats Rice   
   Krispies treats funny.  He used to think he was born in the Year of the   
   Dragon, but was actually a Bunny, causing an identity crisis and   
   obsoleting his dragon tattoo.  He considered adding ears to the dragon.   
   But by the Korean system he's a dragon again.   
      
      
   Bumper: In bed with the original animated opening!  Have they done that   
   before and I just missed it?   
      
   	- An early acting memory was on a bus in fourth grade; he was   
   picked on by bullies who wanted his lunch sack Twinkie.  He went dressed   
   up slick as his own cousin and scared the bullies off.  They might have   
   been afraid.  John Foster he spooked by pretending to be the Incredible   
   Hulk, probably by scaring him.  He likes Cloppy the suicidal horse.   
   'Ghost Rider' is his first superhero movie.  He was going to be Tim   
   Burton's Superman.  Ghost Rider has a flaming skull and brings your   
   wrongs back on you, and beats you with a bike chain.  The movie clip   
   tries recuperating Evil Kneivel's famous jump accident; bad time for a   
   flashback.   
      
      
   Natalie Morales:   
   	- She was at the Wear Red event for Fashion Week, walked the   
   runway, did a twirl, got laughed at.  She'd accidentally flashed Laura   
   Bush.  She seemed delighted.  She might have an 'in' to interview her   
   now.  There are slips while doing three, soon four, hours, like   
   referring to an Alzheimer's study in the Annals of Neurological Science.   
    The control room had a field day with it.  To fix it for the West Coast   
   feeds it took about four times with their childish behavior.  Many men   
   think they can date her since they watch.  One guy calling was, in fact,   
   Alec Baldwin, calling to set up an interview.  He came clean once he   
   learned she was married; there was no movie.  Alec wants to ride a   
   bicycle built for two through Provence with Conan.  Alec laughs about it   
   every time he sees her.  ``Remember when I tried to trick you?  Those   
   were good times.''   
      
      
   John Mulaney:   
   	- It's nice to be out of the house.  He quit drinking (thank you   
   for your support); he was blacking out every time he drank.  His doctor   
   said he wasn't drinking too much, but that after the first couple   
   blackouts it gets easier and easier to black out.  It was weird blacking   
   out and waking up with no money; weirder waking up with more money.   
   Turning $20 into $100, made him a financial wizard, but he doesn't know   
   how to give that advice.  Now he stays home and watches Law & Order.  He   
   realized in his fourth consecutive hour watching.  Every episode has the   
   same things happen.  The first people they talk to always act like it's   
   no big deal being interviewed by homicide detectives.  They can't stop   
   unloading crates for a few seconds?  Then they let some detail of the   
   case go as if it weren't important.  He grew up Catholic; remembers the   
   story of King Solomon and the baby from Catholic school.  There are some   
   problems with it.  What's with the woman who thinks cutting the baby in   
   half is a good idea?  She stole a baby and at the first inquest will   
   take what she can get?  And Solomon knew the mother was the one who   
   didn't want the child cut in half?  Don't most know that?   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)