From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max is:   
   	- Skeptical.  All the energy is killed.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- That's Conan listening behind the wall.  Tom Vilsak is   
   dropping out of the Presidential Race.  Our Vilsak dreams are crushed.   
   He had low name-recognition among his wife and children.  Barack Obama   
   was endorsed by Tom Daschel, the first man in South Dakota to see a   
   black man.  George W Bush went to North Carolina and talked on   
   cellulosic ethanol, or as he calls it, 'That stuff.'  Oscars will be   
   broadcast all over the world, but in most countries edited down to one   
   hour.  Somewhere in Africa a child will go to bed not knowing who won   
   for Best Sound Effects Editing.  Who will tell Mukutu?  The New York   
   Health Department (we have one now) closed a Kentucky Fried Chicken/Taco   
   Bell because of news footage of rats running lose.  It's not sure what's   
   scarier, the loose rats or the KenTaco Bell.  Dancing With The Stars   
   producers will have the actor who played Big Pussy on the Sopranos as a   
   contestant.  That's what mean are called who're caught watching Dancing   
   With The Stars.   
   	   
   	+ Quite a few Singapore shopping malls have combined Kentucky   
   Fried Chicken/Taco Bell/Pizza Hut places.  I never ate at a KenTaco Hut,   
   since I'm trying to see if I can make it through life without eating   
   Taco Bell.  So far so good.   
      
      
   New Off-Broadway Shows:   
   	- From Lisa Nowak's story.  Spacin' Out: o/` Start the car and   
   I'm gone, got my space-Huggies on, so I don't stop to use the can.  And I   
   can't just wait to reach the Sunshine state and kill the krunk that took   
   my man.  o/`   
   	   
   	- jetBlue has passengers stranded for 60 days at a time.  So,   
   'Going Nowhere Slow':  o/`  Hour five!  the attendant's getting rude.   
   hour six!  And the fat guy wants more food (that's me)  Hour seven! and   
   we've stopped looking at our watch.  Hour eight! there's a burning in   
   our crotch.  Hour nine! And the toilets overflow.  Is this Jet blue or   
   Camp Guantanamo?  o/` The attendant chases them back to their seats with   
   a taser.   
   	   
   	- From the Hollywood flops based on John Lennon and Bob Dylan:   
   The opening and sudden cancelation of Girl, You Know It's True, based on   
   Milli Vanilli.  'Girl, you know it's true!'  And stagehands take away   
   the set.   
   	   
   	- Write-Offs and Rip-offs, with Abe Vigoda going through   
   receipts for tax purposes: When the krunk did I buy a melon baller?   
   Sometimes he does the show twice a day.   
   	   
   	- Letters From Iwo Jima: o/` We're Letters from Iwo Jima   We're   
   the cutest thing you ever seen-a.  We should have stayed home at   
   Hiroshima!  Cause we're the letters from Iwo Jima! o/` (They are cute,   
   for letters.)   
   	   
   	- To Catch A Predator!  o/` Where's the 15-year-old boy I   
   expected?  There's a penis in my pants that feels neglected.  Oh my god,   
   it's Chris Hanson, time to do some fancy dancing!  Rum-sticka Rum-sticka   
   Rum-sticka Rum-sticka... o/`  o/`  Not so fast sir, we know you are   
   here.  What is with the Archie Comics and the beer? o/` o/` Hey, you're   
   not allowed to take me o/` -- o/` Yes we are!  And we found the kiddie   
   porn that's in your car.  o/` o/` So it's off to prison now, au revoir.   
   o/` o/` 'Cause we found the kiddie porn o/` -- o/` All the pages were   
   well-worn o/` -- o/` Yes we found the kiddie porn that's in your car!   
   o/` (They hit some of those notes.)   
      
      
   Billy Bob Thornton:   
   	- He's got a lovely jacket.  It's much colder on the East Coast.   
    He came to New York City as a young guy, in 1977.  He stayed ten hours.   
    He'd had a teary goodbye to his girlfriend and said she'd probably   
   never see him again; she already got together with another guy.  She   
   thought he was going somewhere.  He and a friend parked their car near a   
   tunnel, started walking, thought they'd see Times Square.  He had long   
   brown hair, as Son of Sam was killing people with long brown hair.  They   
   got lost, got a bad cab driver, couldn't figure how to describe how to   
   get back there except by landmarks, 'This big guy with what might be a   
   man in a red dress by an Italian restaurant.'  Got an old-fashioned   
   Irish cabbie.  He got them there.  They got out of there.   
   	   
   	- He's got a Hollywood Walk of Fame star.  Don't go to see your   
   Walk of Fame star.  He took his daughter to something at the Kodak   
   theater, Elmo on Trial, and his star's there.  Connie wanted to take a   
   picture.  But there's all those people dressed as Spider-Man or Oliver   
   Hardy, people thought he was the Billy Bob Thornton guy.  One guy came   
   up and said, 'You're not Billy Bob Thornton.'  'Well, actually, I am.'   
   'No you're not.'  And he told his wife no he wasn't.  Thornton gave in.   
   Conan gets how he looks like Conan O'Brien a lot.   
   	   
   	- He's wanted to do a Jimmy Stewart type movie; he's got Mister   
   Woodcock coming out.  It's sort of ... know Stipler from American Pie?   
   Kind of Bad Santa kicks Stipler.  He plays a non-nice gym teacher.   
   He'll come back to promote it and have a case full of props.  They'll   
   get splinters.   
   	   
   	- The Astronaut Farmer is a nice family film, he swears.  They   
   had a guy who built a sounding rocket.  Thornton's is a story of an   
   astronaut building his own rocket; it's all fine until he orders 10,000   
   pounds of rocket fuel, which excites the FBI.   
   	   
   	+ Actually, the Atlas D rocket (the variant used for Mercury   
   capsule launches, and roughly what the movie seems to use) consumed   
   around 240,000 pounds of rocket fuel, but maybe that 10,000 pounds was   
   just the first order.   
   	   
   	+ Movie farmers will do anything to avoid farming.   
      
      
   Guests for Next Week: Athletes who do Cheezy Low-Budget TV Commercials.   
   	- If you're due in for an oil change take your car to Sir   
   Lubes-a-lot in Nutley, New Jersey.  Service is always a home run.   
   	   
   	- I almost played in the Super Bowl but you'll be bowled over by   
   the super guests next week, including Jake Jillinhall.   
   	   
   	- I will tell you now.  I may throw a lot of knuckleballs but   
   you'll think you fell in with the chuckleballs when talking with guest   
   Jim Gaffigan.   
   	   
   	- Better wear shoulder pads to cushion the shock, Conan.  I may   
   wear a plastic chin strap but you'll feel your spastic grin snap with   
   Wednesday's guest, Larry King.   
   	   
   	- We wouldn't tell you no jive. Those shows will make you high   
   five.   
   	   
   	Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 30 Rockefeller Plaza.  Only five   
   miles east of the ``Big Rigger'' truck stop on Palisades Parkway.  Take   
   exit 9 off of I-85, and make three lefts, five rights, and then coast to   
   a stop behind the abandoned Taco Bell.  Mention this ad and get a free   
   foot massage or Dr Phil beer cozy.   
      
      
   J Alexander:   
   	- He's very tall.  And he has high heels on.  Women complain;   
   some heels are good for different environments.  He could show women how   
   to walk in heels.  What's a walk say about a model?  It talks about   
   power, character, preparation.  Guys don't have so much to do to talk.   
   Conan practices a catwalk walk.  Conan shows his ordinary walk   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)