From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Audience sets the bar very high.  It's Friday, right, because I'm not   
   coming in to work tomorrow?   
   Max is:   
   	- Dressed like a mobster.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Whitney Houston is divorcing Bobby Brown; they have to because   
   hanging out together violated their paroles.  The House of   
   Representatives passed a bill to build a 700-mile fence along the   
   Mexican border, to keep Mexicans from getting back home.  Bush announced   
   he has no plans to invade North Korea; this time, he and Rumsfeld are   
   going to wing it.  George Clooney addressed the United Nations;   
   fortunately, translators were available for countries that don't speak   
   Handsome.  A woman is suing Toys R Us because she was asked by employees   
   to stop breast-feeding.  Young boys kept pointing at her and saying, ``I   
   want one of those.''  Men on average have higher IQs than women,   
   according to a study published by a bunch of guys who never want to get   
   laid again.   
      
      
   No More Monday Reruns Starting Soon:   
   	- Tune in! This means 25 percent more Late Night with Conan   
   O'Brien for the same reasonable price of 'free'.  That may be too much   
   Conan O'Brien.  (He's not crazy about the host.)   
   	   
      
   Friday Night Lights:   
   	- About a football team in Texas that just stands there, like   
   this.  It's airing Tuesday night.  He'd have aired it on ... Friday   
   nights?  NBC's marketing is on top of it: Friday Night Lights on   
   Tuesday; Saturday Night Live on Wednesday; If you missed last Monday's   
   Tuesdays with Morrie catch it on Thursday after His Girl Friday; Tuesday   
   Weld and the girl who played Wednesday on The Addams Family in Sunday   
   Night Football every Saturday after the Monday Evening News.  NBC.  It   
   Just Makes Sense.   
   	   
   	+ Ah, remember SCTV promoting the Tonight Show, Tomorrow, and   
   The Today Show?   
   	   
   	- Was I on camera when I did that?   
      
      
   Sunday Night Football:   
   	- Frank's ready for the Cowboys/Redskins game.  His cameraman is   
   about a quarter-mile away.  They forgot they needed two press passes, so   
   the cameraman has to stand by the gate.  Roger Staubach is there, right?   
    ``That is not Roger Staubach.''  Yes it is, he's not doing too well.   
   ``That's a trash bag, you [ krunk ]!''   
   	   
      
      
   Meredith Viera on The Today Show:   
   	- They sent a gift basket, delivered by Joel.  Chocolate, and   
   flowers.  Joel's very grinny.  Look at their awkward chemistry.   
   Eagle-eyed viewers recognize the basket was originally a grub-man on May   
   19; on June 29 a surrendering croissant; July 11 a victorious cannoli;   
   on July 25 a pissed-off kreplach; on August 9 a sandy beach rock; and   
   August 29 a liposuctioned Jabba the Hutt.  The costume cost $65, a   
   per-use cost of $9.29.  Send them your Grub-Man costume contests, and   
   get an 'I'm A Conan Coast-Cutter' button.   
      
      
      
   Matthew Perry:   
   	- He was on Today with Merideth Viencia ... it's very early ...   
   can he refer to himself as a celebrity?  Conan calls himself a   
   superstar.  Matthew calls him a superstar every morning.  Stop calling   
   him so early.  The Today set is a bit 'Plastic Surgeon's Office'   
   sterile.  They consider Perry's looks and Conan's perfection.  It got a   
   little scary.  Conan does that at bus stops sometimes.   
   	   
   	- Before Friends he did LAX 2194, about baggage handlers in the   
   year 2194.  Conan remembers hearing about it but would never believe it   
   was a real show.  Perry wore a futuristic shirt and was surrounded by   
   aliens, all played by midgets with wigs and stuff.  His job was sorting   
   alien luggage.  Was it a comedy or a drama?  Therein lies the question.   
   He had a relative defrosted and he was to explain that.  He was off the   
   market because of that show, but Friends saw the show and knew he   
   wouldn't be off the market long.   
   	   
   	- He had a guest spot on Charles in Charge.  The song is lodged   
   in Conan's brain.  He wants to get rid of that so he can remember, like,   
   his kids' names instead.  Singing doesn't get it out, he's tried.  Conan   
   sings the refrain a bit operatically.  He's more afraid of that than of   
   the hissing earlier.  'That was kind of as a British musical.'   
   	   
   	- Studio 60 is about working at a Saturday Night Live-like show.   
    He's being fair, not amusing.  Did hosting give some insight to the   
   show?  Hosting was one of the scariest weeks of his life.  There's this   
   energy, people pulling left and right, asking about impressions -- he   
   does one impression that lasted, of Mickey Rourke saying ``rubber''.  It   
   goes something like this. ``Rubber.''   
   	   
   	- Aaron Sorkin: brilliant, very nice, very funny.  Famous for   
   dialogue-heavy walking scenes.  But now ... he has to *do* it.  It's   
   very specific, and important to get it exactly right to catch the meter   
   right.  He'd like to stop doing this with his hands.  Can't change 'He   
   is going to score' to 'He's going to score', which will be the death of   
   him.  There's a wonderful woman named Wendy whose job is to say what he   
   did wrong.  He's got a new rule that she has to start out by saying,   
   'First of all, that's brilliant.'   
      
      
   Coming Up Next Week:   
   	- Brian McCann is thinking of Steve Corell instead of supermodel   
   Gizelle.  Or a gazelle.  Or Latrell Sprewell.  An underwear model.  From   
   Victoria's Secret.  Forget it.  Also Johnny Knoxville, not Cruella de   
   Ville.  Not a Bonneville.  Moving on: Jason Lee, not Ice T.  Has he got   
   some problem with sounds?  Mounds.  No, let's skip it, Xzibit will be   
   here.  Not a museum exhibit, the rapper.  Not the wrapper ...   
      
      
   Xzibit:   
   	- He was born with this cool voice.  Someday Conan will bring   
   his '92 Ford Taurus to Pimp My Ride, but it's not running right now.   
   There's a squirrel living in it.  The show's made 'pimp' a socially   
   acceptable verb.  It's losing its unacceptable connotations.  He took a   
   van and put two waterfalls in it.  Should there be two waterfalls in a   
   car?  How does it work?  There's a waterfall in the Taurus, but that's a   
   leak.  Actually, they take the life-threatening stuff out of the car.   
   Stop short, the waterfalls rush forward and then drag you into the   
   backseat.  So they take that stuff out.  24 karat gold rims on a 1984   
   Cadillac: one of those rims is worth ten times the whole car.  He   
   suggested to the kid that if he didn't have a garage to store the car,   
   he should sell it.  There was a girl trying to put her car on eBay and   
   somebody stole it.  He'll put a microwave in the Taurus.  There might be   
   one there now, on a long extension cord.   
   	   
   	- He loves touring overseas, where there's a different   
   appreciation.  In Japan clearly no one explained the art of stage-diving   
   to the audience there; he leapt off the stage and ... they made a little   
   platform of two or three guys to land on, and then the audience started   
   patting him.   
   	   
   	- He's in a film, Gridiron Gang, about guys helping   
   juvenile-detention bound kids with football.  Sounds cookie-cutter but   
   it is a human story about transition.   
      
      
   The Rapture:   
   	- From 'PIeces of the People We Love': I couldn't figure the   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)