From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max is:   
   	- Bringing that good 'perv' quality to the show.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Donald Rumsfeld is stepping down.  He made the decision after   
   it was clear he couldn't do his job effectively, and then he waited   
   three years.  Bush is disappointed with the outcome of the voting; he   
   was talking about 'Dancing with the Stars'.  He likes Joey Lawrence.   
   Clinton's victory fueled speculation she'll run for President in 2008;   
   in other words, there was some good news for Republicans.   
   Schwarzenegger was reelected and plans to use the next four years to   
   showcase California as a one-of-a-kind model of bipartisan cooperation.   
   Of course, it was much funnier when Arnold said it.  And then he ate a   
   sausage.  Anyone use those electronic voting machines?  That was a video   
   game, sir.  Was there an Italian plumber on the screen?  There were many   
   reports of problems, particularly touch-screen machines.  In Mark   
   Foley's district, some of the machines were touched inappropriately.   
   Britney Spears is divorcing Kevin Federline.  According to their   
   prenuptial agreement she has to pay him $30,000 a month, so combined   
   with his other sources of income he'll be making $30,000 a month.   
      
      
   Clutch Cargo George W Bush:   
   	- He's really bummed.  It's been a tough 24 hours.  He thought   
   Britney really loved K-Fed.  How'd the elections turn out?  They lost   
   the House and Senate, but at least they still control Fox News.  The   
   people want change?  But ... uh ... he made it clear, you don't change   
   streams in mid-horse.  I mean, you don't horse streams in mid-change.  I   
   mean ... ... freedom.  They'll have the first female speaker of the   
   house -- a woman third in line for the presidency.  But for that to   
   happen Cheney would have to have a massive coronary, putting me in   
   charge, then I'd have to give in to my curiosity about what would happen   
   if I put this fork into a light socket.  You have to admit it's   
   tempting.  (Put it down, it's not very realistic.)  He may still be a   
   lame duck, but he can still bark.   
   	   
      
   Clutch Cargo Joe Lieberman:   
   	- You don't know the half of how exciting it was.  He'll give   
   the PG version.  The celebration got very intense.  They closed the   
   Applebees at Route 84 in Hartford at the ungodly hour of 11 pm.  It's   
   not just Connecticut; the whole country has the Lieberman fever, and the   
   excitement is contagious.  The adrenaline is pumping.  ZZZZZZ.   
   	   
      
   Clutch Cargo Arnold Schwarzenegger:   
   	- Victory is not big enough a word, it was unadulterated   
   chrushenshmitzen.  It's like ten smashenshmitzen wrapped in a doughy   
   layer of hammernutzen.  hammernutzen?  It's delicious.  His fellow   
   Republicans are garbage.  You're a little harsh!  You're going to love   
   the sequel term.  Much more sophisticated special effects.  You're not a   
   movie!  Here's the plot!  Listen!  This term his nemesis is an evil   
   version of me from my fifth term, coming from the future to try killing   
   my propositions, but they morph into more powerful cyber-proposition!   
   The next election is future Arnold versus present Arnold versus the   
   electronic voting machines!  They'll vote themselves into power and the   
   humans will become the machines the machines vote in!  But the humans   
   will rise up and take over the machines!  So it will pretty much   
   alternate for a thousand years!  Then apes!  And the apes will invent   
   machines!  And those machines will rise up!  Shut up, I'm going to   
   forget the ending! The order will be   
   humans-machines-machines-humans-apes-machine-apes-then a Danny DeVito   
   clone-then aliens!  You've said some odd things as governor but this has   
   to take the cake Arnold!  I'm not Arnold!  AAAAAUGh!  Now let me tell   
   you the end!  So man, ape, and machine live in constant strife, but live   
   together when they put down their weapons and bask in the light of   
   holiday classic Jingle All The Way.   
      
      
   Will Ferrell:   
   	- He took his son to The Lion King and tried to not show he was   
   nodding off due to sickness.  It's a lovely show -- Conan thought he   
   meant Late Night.  He and his wife are having another child.  His first   
   son is Magnus.  People enjoy it, but he's been on lists of Celebrities   
   with Freak Kid Names.  They're considering something more exotic and   
   Swedish.  Orbid-eegen?  ``That's racist.''  The Swedish Santa Claus,   
   Tomtin, is ... still wears the red and is a little skinny, has the   
   beard, he's a little naughty.  Kind of a creepy Santa.  You have to earn   
   your gift by showing your talents.   
   	   
   	- They try to get the applause going for a record, then sit in   
   silence.   
   	   
   	- He got to work with Dustin Hoffman.  After the first take he   
   asked Ferrell if he could do better?  He said [krunk] right you could do   
   better, let's go, pick it up.  He had emotional scenes in the movie and   
   delivered.  He worked with Emma Thompson; she went from casual   
   conversations to crying on cue and he looked at her like, 'Are you a   
   witch?'   
   	   
   	- They were filming in front of a bakery in Chicago, and some   
   twins said they wanted a dual wedding with Ferrell and Conan.  So, if   
   their marriages go down the drain (``not if, when!'').  He carried a   
   note they wrote with wedding plans in his backpack for a year, then   
   forgot this time.  Anyone from Chicago?  One person, who's clearly   
   lying.  Earlier when they mentioned Chicago she didn't go whoo.  Now   
   they don't trust her whoo.  'Conan, you've lost some weight,' 'You don't   
   look so bad yourself,' 'Weird audience tonight, huh?'   
   	   
   	- His movie clip is 'Kramer Versus Kramer'.  His movie is   
   'Stranger Than Fiction'.   
      
      
      
   Tom Everett Scott:   
   	- Conan's the only one who dressed for the show tonight.   
   Ferrell's off running a marathon, Scott's here selling heroin.  In his   
   play there's a moment where he has to be naked with another man.  He's   
   had to be nude in a play before this (college doesn't count), strangely   
   with the same playwright.  The first time in rehearsal was most   
   nerve-wracking; afterwards he got used to it.  And they did rehearsals   
   in dress.  You don't want to be naked accidentally.  The first time they   
   did a complete run-through was with an audience.  After the first time   
   the producers said he should get a tan as his tuckus was very white, and   
   he's complaining to the wrong person.  See that light?  Conan can read   
   by his rear end.  He went to the tanning machine, and he got burned   
   since that part of his body hasn't seen the sun in a really long time.   
   Now it's fun.  If women are going to get naked on a set they cordon off   
   the block; when men are, it's just casual, there's a count down, 'three   
   days to naked time'.   
   	   
   	- He's going to be a paramedic on 'Saved'; is he learning   
   anything lifesaving?  Not much.  It'd be so embarrassing if someone were   
   really hurt and they looked for him.  He'd call 911.  They learn to fake   
   it, but they do have to learn how to get people out of an ambulance on   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)