From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max is:   
   	- Awkward for no reason.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- A New York newspaper gave a recipe to make Taco bell tacos at   
   home; you need three measuring cups, a large saucepan, and 24 rolls of   
   toilet paper.  Awkward moment in Washington as the new head of the   
   Intelligence Committee admitted he didn't know the difference between a   
   Sunni and a Shi'Ite; Bush said not to feel bad, as he still has trouble   
   on Iran versus Iraq.  A man was arrested for trying to smuggle cocaine   
   into Amsterdam; the police almost didn't find it because it was hidden   
   inside his bong.  Setup funnier than joke.  Nicole Ritchie may plead   
   guilty to driving under the influence, so she'd serve a five-day jail   
   sentence.  She says she'd protest the sentence by starting a hunger   
   strike two years ago.  The producer of Girls Gone Wild was caught using   
   17-year-old girls, and was sentenced to community service.  He said   
   making videos of topless women *is* community service.  Angelina Jolie   
   would be willing to sit and talk with Jennifer Aniston to discuss their   
   awkward situation with Brad Pitt; Aniston said she'd be willing to shove   
   her entire foot up Jolie's rear end.   
      
   	- 50 Cent had to cancel an appearance as he has a cold.  He's   
   been shot eight times, but a tickle in his throat ...   
      
      
   Iraq Strategy Report NBC TV Movie Casting:   
   	- Kofi Annan: Morgan Freeman.   
      
   	- Lawrence Eagleburger: John Goodman.   
   	   
   	- Israeli PM Ehud Olner: Abe Vigoda.   
   	   
   	- NSA's Stephen Hadley: Sally Jesse Raphael.   
   	   
   	- Mutata Ad-Sadr: Turtle from Entourage.   
   	   
   	- Panel member Charles Robb: Principal Skinner.   
   	   
   	- Ed Meese: A bulldog.   
   	   
   	- Muri al-Maliki: Mr Spaceley.   
   	   
   	- Condoleeza Rice: Snoop Dogg.   
   	   
   	- Dick Cheney: Burgermeister Meisterburger.   
   	   
   	- The Sunni Triangle: Britney Spears's Sunni Triangle.   
   	   
   	- George W Bush: A deer in the headlights.   
      
      
   Classic Holiday Specials:   
   	- It's Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown: They used the same   
   actors as from A Charlie Brown Christmas, though.   
   	   
   	- Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town: Conan realized there are   
   inappropriate moments, 'Dear Santa, why does my daddy smell like other   
   mommies?'   
   	   
   	- Home Alone: You see now how scary it was for him.  Kramer's in   
   his fantasy.   
   	   
   	- How The Grinch Stole Christmas: In the cartoon version he's   
   not mean because his heart is two sizes too small; it's because he has   
   'just one tiny ball'.   
   	   
   	- It's A Wonderful Life: It's not so life-affirming, is it?   
   George Bailey gets murdered by a cop for it.   
   	   
   	   
      
   Howard Stern:   
   	- He didn't have so much luck with NBC.  Conan's got a 40   
   percent chance of replacing Leno.  Leno wanted The Tonight Show so bad   
   he'd hide in closets and listen in; he's worried for Conan.  Stern   
   kissed Paul Shaffer's head; could he kiss Max's?  Yup.  Stern brings a   
   satellite radio for Conan.  Now Stern doesn't have to worry about the   
   FCC so it's run out of control.  He had Martha Stewart on.  She admitted   
   she uses a vibrator called The Thumper.  She was hit on in prison but   
   held out.  That day, she wasn't wearing panties or a bra.  And they were   
   talking with Larry King about his sex life.  He lost Conan.  Larry King   
   likes roleplay and will parade with just chaps on.  A marine used the   
   Internet to meet what turned out to be Clay Aiken in a hotel room; the   
   marine was a woman.  I don't know what this is supposed to be.  They   
   have a TV version, showing they actually do the stuff they seem to do.   
   Stern also bought a free subscription for every one in the audience,   
   including the nun.   
   	   
   	- When did Bruce last call Max?  Max wants to be back.  But   
   Conan *has* got the air, which Stern feels up.  Why does Stern go to a   
   therapist when he talks about everything that comes to mind five hours a   
   day?  Would he ever tape a therapy session and play it on the radio?  He   
   got nervous -- to start with he was worried if he lost his personality   
   edge.  His therapist pointed out if he gained sensitivity and were to   
   cry on the radio he would really shock his audience, which *would* work,   
   but it hasn't happened yet.   
   	   
   	- He's noticed Baba Booey never enjoys his work; he looks like   
   he's enjoying something as sensuous as recharging a battery.  His crew   
   is quite professional.  Gary wears a beekeepers' outfit when there's   
   naked women in the room.   
   	   
   	- For Howard TV they're inspired by the WPIX Yule Log.  They're   
   doing this shirtless guy eating chicken wings.  And how much do his   
   bowel movements weigh?   
   	   
   	- If not for satellite radio he probably would have retired.   
      
      
   Jim Gaffigan:   
   	- Thanks; that's so insincere.  He talks about his laziness, and   
   markers for it like not being able to recycle.  'What does blue mean?'   
   Will you wash yourself before cleaning the garbage?  Where does one find   
   twine?  He goes into the logic of buying garbage bags.  Could we admit   
   we'll never carpool?  Answering the 800-rideshare numbers has to be one   
   of the loneliest jobs, 'Nobody's called in four years'.  He talks about   
   full bags of garbage on the highway.   
      
      
   Another Pale Force:   
   	- Conan's upset about how skinny and effeminate he is in these   
   things.  This will be more Christmassy than the Charlie Brown one, or   
   the one in the Bible.  When Santa Claus came from the North Pole to   
   start Christmas ... if he were alive he'd liek this ...   
   	   
   	- Nothing's going to get Conan down.  What day is it today?   
   Christ as Ebeneezer Scrooge.  He dances through various references,   
   screws up his career, and is shot and all that.  He wishes he never was   
   pale.   
   	   
   	- Conan's so sorry he'll never see Jim Gaffigan again on this   
   show.   
      
   	+ You know, this is three or four Pale Force episodes I've seen   
   now through the show.  Do they have any that are ... you know ... good?   
   I don't think I'm missing some subtle genius here.   
      
      
   Promotional Consideration Furnished By:   
   	- In Demand.   
   	   
   	+ So what was that credit about?  What did they do to be   
   considered promotionally?   
   	   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)