From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   	Well, this was a rerun, so now I don't feel so bad about not   
   getting to the summary before, and I can get back to thinking about   
   what might make these summaries better conversation-starters.  With   
   the rerun, though, did anyone notice Serena Williams's jewelry getting   
   lost during the tennis match?   
      
   	(That I can repost this just using a 'reply' feature shows the   
   sort of retention the RPI news server offers, which is wonderful, but   
   makes even dead groups look like they're stuffed full of activity,   
   dating back to 1845.)   
      
      
   nebusj-@-rpi-.edu (Joseph Nebus) writes:   
      
   >Max is:   
   >	- Wearing a suit made of copper.   
      
      
   >Conologue:   
   >	- Clinton advisor Dick Morris says Hillary Clinton will be the   
   >next president, but will be the worst you've ever seen.  Bush says he's   
   >not finished yet.  Governor Arnold is starting an energy research   
   >project with the Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich,.  His name is Rod   
   >Benson, but Arnold pronounces it ... Al Gore was nominated for a Nobel   
   >Peace Prize, putting both Arabs and Jews to sleep.  Mexicans protested   
   >high food prices in Mexico City for an hour, then left for their Los   
   >Angeles jobs.  Jennifer Anniston denied she has breast implants; they   
   >were stolen by Angelina Jolie.  Lindsay Lohan is in rehab, thinking of   
   >McDonald's and sex.  The Hamburgler burst into her room and said ``Eat   
   >me!''   
      
      
   >Late Night Super Bowl Preview:   
   >	- Conan's hair is like a fin.   
      
   >	- Lovie Smith is the Bears head coach.  Assitant coach Cutesy   
   >Wilcox, offensive coordinator Hugsy Smooches, and defensive line coach   
   >Sugarlumps Cuddlebunny.   
   >	   
   >	- If Chicago wins Joel will be spanked by a ping-pong paddle for   
   >half an hour.  Chicago's his team.   
   >	   
   >	- Conan's in a Super Bowl ad.  He's pampering himself with eau   
   >de femme bath crystals.  For softness only a woman can feel.  Conan   
   >looks like *such* a freak with his head popping out of bubbles like   
   >that.   
   >	   
   >	- According to his watch, which he then looks up, it's time for   
   >the Preview Halftime.  Vicks Vaporub is the sponsor.  John Cougar   
   >Mellencamp tribute performer John Campen Cougerville.  Ed Grimley would   
   >be proud.  Horrible.  He'll be back, or should be.   
   >	   
   >	- The tallest building in Chicago battles the tallest building   
   >in Indianapolis, and the audience prematurely applauds the Sears Tower   
   >in Sears Clothes.  It battles the twelve-story Airport Holiday Inn.   
   >	   
   >	- The Spice Channel is counter-programming with 'Super-Hole   
   >Funday'.   
   >	   
   >	- The Holiday Inn calls for a rematch, and brings in a Red Roof   
   >Inn, a Municipal Garage, and an International house of Pancakes.   
      
      
   >Serena Williams:   
   >	- She thinks time off helped her get back into tennis.  With her   
   >eighth major win, that's a fair theory.  Her arms were enormous in this   
   >New York Times photo, with more muscle in one arm than Conan has in her   
   >entire body.  Fastest serve 203 km (per hour, I imagine).  Does she ever   
   >try to hit somebody?  Sometimes they serve right at the opponent, as a   
   >tactic.  She designed the Nike clothes she wears.  She shocked   
   >Wimbledon.   
   >	   
   >	- Conan wants to play tennis, but they have no room, so they   
   >play it on Nintendo Wii.  Conan strips for it.  If he's intimidating,   
   >why is she laughing so hard?  She's wearing her outfit from the   
   >Australian open.  She kills a spectator.  Conan wins!   
      
      
   >Donal Logue:   
   >	- Going up against American Idol: his miscalculation.  There was   
   >some fuss with Valerie Bertinelli here.  They got Screech from Saved By   
   >The Bell.  He's always been fascinated by that show, Charles in Charge,   
   >and Small Wonder.  Screech was having something to do with a sex tape,   
   >and then he tried to set up a story of doing an ABC sitcom with Mick   
   >Jagger.  Conan's never watched the Dustin Diamond sex tape.  Now they're   
   >trying not having the show right up against American Idol.  As a teen he   
   >lived in Ireland; he was born in Canada.  Conan blends right in in   
   >Ireland.  Donal goes there and is told by people that he owes them money   
   >as he looks like their brother.  Conan and Donal could go as a team.   
   >His mom's from Sneem.  The Lucky Charms leprechaun sounds nothing like   
   >any actual Irish accent, and there are lots of them.   
      
      
   >Kevin Brennan:   
   >	- He doesn't care about the Super Bowl, but his friends want him   
   >to bet.  Blackjack is more interesting betting.  Steroids are an issue   
   >in sports.  Would they help in other professions?  He's getting afraid   
   >to drive; there's a guy SMSing next to him while driving.  Myspace   
   >creeps him out; 'I'm fifteen and I like to read'?  Or do you work for   
   >Dateline?  That's almost a joke.  He just got married, like every comic   
   >ever.  Kids never have money.  Oprah wants people to adopt Africans; he   
   >can't pay his cable bill.  Adopting is an option if the kid might be a   
   >loser.  Men like doing different things than men do, like not buying   
   >Christmas cards.  Reference to Pap smears.  His wife's Panamanian.   
   >Racism can show itself when buying a house until he told the neighbors   
   >she was his housekeeper.  That is, standard stand-up comic routine   
   >delivered competently but wholly unmemorably.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)