From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   	For the record the Dow Jones average is named for Charles Dow,   
   founder of The Wall Street Journal, and his business partner Edward   
   Jones.  They introdeuced this in 1896, just in time to catch a major   
   collapse in the price of stocks.  Dow is also famous as the creator of   
   'Dow Theory', a never precisely stated theory of how the stock market   
   works which form the basis of technical theory, the idea that there are   
   definite phases of trends in the stock market and that by studying the   
   movements of prices hard enough you can determine what they are.   
      
   nebusj-@-rpi-.edu (Joseph Nebus) writes:   
      
   >Max is:   
   >	- Losing them.   
      
      
   >Conologue:   
   >	- Bush visited the New York Stock Exchange.  He wanted to meet   
   >Dow Jones.  Arnold S is considering a ban on selling incandescent light   
   >bulbs; he's tired of saying incandescent.  He always talks about how his   
   >Arnold always bits a sausage afterwards.  Russia has its beauty pageant   
   >for nuclear power workers; last year's winner had the most beautiful   
   >three eyes.  Barry Bonds' agent thinks he could hit a thousand home   
   >runs, but he's on more drugs than Barry Bonds.  An 84-year-old man won   
   >$250 million in the lottery.  He wants it paid out gradually over the   
   >next 20 days.  Michael Jackson's father Joe was locked out of Michael's   
   >home.  They don't let *any* angry parents in.  41 percent chance of a   
   >great show tonight.   
      
      
      
   >Armed and Famous is cancelled:   
   >	- Max loses his appearance.  Alan has a clip.  Max shoots a guy   
   >for littering.   
      
      
      
   >HornyManatee.com:   
   >	- Other shows are on their coattails.  The boo sign still works.   
   > Heroes riffs on a manatee on the Internet.  1 versus 100 had the   
   >manatee in.  Conan asks for 'NoHornymanateeFreeRides@hornymanatee.com'   
   >tips.   
      
      
   >Actual Items:   
   >	- Appleton, WI, Eagle.  Cruise line.  Ask about 'Ship Sails   
   >Without You' adventure package.   
   >	   
   >	- Crown Point, IN, Sentinal.  Guinea pigs.  As seen on Donald   
   >Trump's head.   
   >	   
   >	- Staten Island, NY, Sun.  Country Club.  Join soon!  These   
   >housewives aren't going to bang themselves!   
   >	   
   >	- Fresno, CA, Tribune.  Collectible plate with a dog on it.  The   
   >same expression George W Bush makes during Wheel of Fortune.   
   >	   
   >	- Tampe, AZ, Times.  Football equipment.  All the preotective   
   >gear you'll need to tell your parents about the guy you met in Cancun.   
   >	   
   >	- Upper Darby, PA, Chronicle.  The Doodlebops.  Every single   
   >seat still available!   
   >	   
   >	- Newburgh, NY, Post.  Heart-shaped pillows.  We Miss You   
   >Saddam.   
   >	   
   >	- Stockbridge, MA, Post.  American historical figurines that   
   >talk.  Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is fear   
   >itself.  Thomas Jefferson: All men are created equal.  Ben Franklin:   
   >Pardon me, Miss, have you ever seen a Philadelphia 'Trouser Snake'?   
      
      
   >Sienna Miller:   
   >	- She was curious about an If They Mated on her with Josh   
   >Hartnett.  It looks vaguely Sulu-ish.  She thinks it's funny.  She's on   
   >Esquire.  She has a monkey on her shoulder; it didn't like her.  She   
   >likes to hang glide.  Did her friend want the extreme bungee jump?  They   
   >joked about the rope not being attached.  Her movie is about the Andy   
   >Warhol factory.   
      
      
      
   >Woman in the Audience:   
   >	- Keeps getting put on camera for no obvious reason.  She starts   
   >doing 'Can't Touch This'.  And other video effects about looking sexy,   
   >too.  She wants to run for President.  She squeezes Conan out of the   
   >frame.   
      
      
   >Goran Visnjic:   
   >	- He thought his character had killed the most patients on ER.   
   >Is he getting comfortable dispensing medical advice?  It's a trap.  Just   
   >like this topic which is brought up for every ER guest.  He's tried   
   >telling jokes, but it doesn't seem to work; he thinks he's funnier than   
   >other people do.  Translated jokes: Conan doesn't get really funny jokes   
   >from Siberia or so.  'Why does a man go down the street?'  'Because he   
   >has brown bread in his shoes!'  They'll film some ER in Croatia.   
   >There's some feedback somewhere.   
      
   >Paul Weller:   
   >	- With 'Hit Parade' CD out: Couldn't make out the lyrics with   
   >the TV turned way down like I had it.   
      
      
   >Closing credits:   
   >	- They go on long enough to see Conan crawling over the set   
   >before cutting way to the repeated midshow sketch!   
   >	   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)