From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   	One more rerun, I assume so that there's time to prepare for the   
   week in San Francisco.  That's fine by me; these summaries are a lot of   
   writing to do and I enjoy having the time to just watch instead.   
      
      
   nebusj-@-rpi-.edu (Joseph Nebus) writes:   
      
   >	Five star show tonight -- everything was really on.   
      
   >Max is:   
   >	Applauded for being said ``hi'' to.   
      
      
   >Conologue:   
   >	- Bush's speech said he was sending in 20,000 troops to   
   >end the war between Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump.   
      
   >	- Democrats are seeking support for a nonbinding   
   >resolution opposing Bush's deployment of his military escalation.   
   > In response Bush said ``Huh?''.  And he had a cracker.   
      
   >	- Last season Barry Bonds tested positive for   
   >amphetamines.  He says he has no idea how they got mixed up with   
   >his steroids.   
      
   >	- David Beckham just signed the most expensive contract   
   >in sports history, $250 million over five years to play soccer in   
   >Los Angeles for five years.  No word what he'll do in two years   
   >when the US league folds.   
      
   >	- In Alabama a man shot another as they got into an   
   >argument over how tall James Brown was.  Never talk with your   
   >friens about politics, religion, and the exact height of James   
   >Brown.   
      
   >	- People magazine printed a shirtless photo of Barack   
   >Obama in his bathing suit.  Today he gave a speech in his shorts.   
   > La Bamba was offered the photo.   
      
      
      
   >It's chilly tonight:   
   >	- But Conan just has to pull his microphone and hot   
   >chocolate will fall on the audience, scalding them.   
   >	   
      
      
   >At the MacWorld convention:   
   >	- Secrete oils!  Conan doesn't know why he said that.   
      
   >	- Commercial for the iPhone: It's a camera, a movie   
   >player, a remote control, a bottle opener, an electric razor, a   
   >blow drier, a mouse trap, a lip gloss, a condiment dispenser,   
   >mace, a cheese grater, a sonogram, a treadmill, a children's   
   >thermometer, a portable shower, a bookmark, a hand grenade, a pan   
   >flute, sideburns, a prophylactic.  Also a hard-to-use cell phone.   
   >   
      
      
      
   >Donald Trump, Rosie O'Donnell, Barbara Walters:   
   >	- Conan wants this kind of publicity.  He needs a fight   
   >with someone on The View; only Joy Behar is still free.  He likes   
   >her and all, but he needs the feud.  He rips into her over the   
   >failure of her imaginary magazine and all that, and challenges   
   >the camera switcher.   
      
   >	- Max can try starting a feud with the one who's left,   
   >the blonde one.  Nobody knows her name.  ``Hey, blonde girl from   
   >The View!  You suck.''   
      
      
      
   >HornyManatee.com:   
   >	- It's got over 18 million hits.  Shaved Manatee, fan art   
   >like Victoria's Seacow from Anne O.  Walt W sent Harry Ruby   
   >shooting a manatee.  Theresa Z had a manatee snuggling   
   >manga-Conan.  La Bamba can have a copy.   
      
   >	- January 18, after the show, the manatee does a live   
   >online chat, 1:35 am Eastern.  And he slips into a Donald Trump   
   >impersonation for no reason I know.  He chats briefly with the   
   >manatee.   
      
      
   >Hilary Swank:   
   >	- Is Conan the Oscar-Maker?  The second Oscar isn't less   
   >thrilling.  Conan would put his in holsters, a bad idea.   
      
   >	- She likes cooking, eating.  Conan can't cook, but likes   
   >gadgets.  She does too; she just got a corn zipper.  It rips the   
   >kernels off the corn.  He has a Corn Taser, in case he's   
   >attacked.  They both have melon ballers, never used.   
      
   >	- Conan starts an anecdote about his Ford Taurus.  She   
   >likes driving cross-country inexpensively.  Stayed in   
   >$30-and-less motels.  It was ``interesting, at times.''   
   >Sometimes challenging.  Mississippi threatened to break her rule.   
   > She stopped at an inn at 1 am and explained and asked.  The   
   >woman looked curiously at her, but thought it was cool, and let   
   >her.  But when she got the credit card bill it was full price.   
   >The front desk woman just *said* she did.   
      
   >	- She's got a perfume.  Insolence.  Suggests rudeness.   
   >She thinks they were trying to get at independence.  Now her   
   >friends make fun based on that.  Conan's cologne is Insufferable.   
      
   >	- Freedom Riders.  Woman teaches in inner-city school.   
   >Based on a true story and, if I'm not reading it wrong, every   
   >``inspirational schoolteacher in inner-city school'' movie ever.   
      
      
   >Pierre Bernard's Recliner of Rage   
   >	- Recently he wanted to buy a display case for his Hot   
   >Wheel cars, including for his Arachnorod, a half-car half-spider   
   >hybrid.  He figured his Hot Wheel display cases should go in his   
   >bathroom.  Each case has unique problems, like not fitting trucks   
   >or holding fewer items and having distracting huge hinges.  He   
   >hasn't found the display case he likes.  Bottom line: why can't   
   >we build a display case that fits in his bathroom and allows easy   
   >access to his Arachnorod?   
      
      
   >Artie Lange:   
   >	- A woman came up to him and said he was on his side in   
   >this feud since Trump was a jerk.  Thought he'd correct her, but,   
   >hey ... He remembers Rosie considering her hair, and remarked   
   >that with long hair we get to see what Jackie Gleason would look   
   >like as a hippie.   
      
   >	- He's the only guy who's ever gained weight with   
   >cocaine.  Guy asked him if he'd been sprinkling it on   
   >cheeseburgers or something.  The War on Drugs has been ridiculous   
   >from the start.  His mom actually tried saying ``Hugs are better   
   >than drugs'', which he accepted up to his first pot experience.   
      
   >	- When did he hit rock bottom?  ``I'll let you know.''   
   >It was, as one might expect, on Mad TV.  Had a bit playing Babe   
   >the Pig with hours of pig prosthetics.  Called his coke dealer;   
   >he rushed off in his pig suit.  Freaked out his drug dealer.   
   >Surprised he was on a TV show; his cousin loves the show.  But he   
   >can't do the coke through his pig snout.  He has to break his   
   >snout.  He needs another hit on a key, next to a woman in a   
   >Lamborghini who's watching a pig do coke at a stop light.   
      
      
   >Black Keys:   
   >	From 'Magic Potion' the pride of Akron, Ohio: ``Your   
   >Touch'', I suppose.  I liked it, but sort of as background music   
   >than as something to specifically listen to.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)