From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   	Finally a new episode!  And a right nifty one, too, quite   
   well done all around.   
      
   Max is:   
   	- Robotic and angry.  And notice the backdrop.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Bush was invited to visit Machu Pichu.  Bush loves Pokemon.   
   Bill Clinton will go to Boris Yelstin's funeral; at least, that's what   
   he's telling Hillary.  He'll be here all week.  Try the veal.  Simon   
   Cowell's home in London was robbed; the work of professional thieves,   
   according to police, but Cowell said they were amateurish and   
   uninspired.  A rumor says Britney Spears may sing with Sanjaya.  And by   
   'rumor' Conan means 'terrorist threat'.  Archaeologists in Miami have   
   excavated a 3,000-year-old skeleton, by X-raying Larry King.  Will it be   
   horror or applause?  English Pizza Hut diners were horrified when a man   
   grabbed a knife and cut off his own penis.  The health department says   
   all is back to normal, but do *not* order the pepperoni.  There's a   
   Martha Stewart group following her in the audience.   
      
      
   Paul Wolfowitz Scandal: Conan refers to his photo, that's not on-screen.   
   	- What kind of guy sets aside all professional ethics to provide   
   perks to a woman he's having sex with?  (Max.)  You know how this is   
   going.   
      
      
   Dave and Duane from Smooth Jazz 87:   
   	+ I expected this to be a clutch cargo interview.   
   	   
   	- They're banning hard-sounding consonants from jazz, like 'k',   
   'p', and 'ch'.  They provide alternatives for 'cheese and crackers':   
   Swiss on flatbread.  'Popcorn': bloated maize.  That's not 'crazy',   
   that's insane.   
   	   
   	+ They get stuck out there.  'I'm too relaxed to leave.'   
      
      
   Noches de Pasion con Senor O'Brien.   
   	- She's in a jail cell; the sheriff is skeptical.  Conando   
   barges in, in Inspector Gadget wear.  There's a snake holding the key.   
   Conando flicks his tongue until the snake falls in love, and frees the   
   woman.  The serpent is amazed at what a snake Conan is.   
      
      
   Martha Stewart:   
   	- Her fangirls are just like on her show.  She went to a space   
   launch of one of her friends.  But it's only 235 miles, like Rochester   
   straight up.  He's sort of a best friend/boyfriend/uh ... He's been gone   
   for months; he was in outer space.  She brought photos: him as Hannibal   
   Lecter, the most dysfunctional shot of a relationship, neither looking   
   at each other and one behind glass.  Martha with a personal guard, who   
   inspires confidence as he looks like the Kazakh Barney Fife.  The rocket   
   is not part of her hat.  She got up in the elevator while the guys were   
   in the Soyuz.  You can't light a match, as there's oxygen and kerosene   
   spraying about.  Imagine being in a spaceship and hearing knocking out   
   there, and it's Martha Stewart.  'Clean up in there!'  Stewart would go,   
   Conan wouldn't.   
      
   	+ His name was Charles Simonyi, and he got an extra day in space   
   beyond what the original contract was for due to the ground at the   
   original landing site being too boggy.  Stewart sent Simonyi off with a   
   basket of gourmet food.  During his stay at the International Space   
   Station, American astronaut Sunita Williams 'ran' the Boston Marathon on   
   the treadmill.   
   	   
   	- She brought about Keith Richard's medicine cabinet from   
   Kazakstan.  There's no big department stores in Baikonur.  But in the   
   grocery store was abundant vodka and pickles.  She learned a great drink   
   in Moscow, 'Ruin Me Russian'.  Does O'Brien love strong drinks?  Take   
   half the raspberries in the glass.  Muddle them (crush them).  Add   
   raspberry liqueur.  Then add vodka to fill up.  Pour it in where there's   
   ice and the same drink in a larger glass.  Then serve with a twist of   
   wine.  It's the best.  Her whole personality is changing.  Something   
   like $35 or $40 in a nightclub, as there's nine gallons of alcohol in   
   it.  It tastes like siphoning a gas tank.   
   	   
   	+ In point of fact, the Russian launch pad is in Tyuratam, about   
   200 kilometers from Baikonur.  Calling it Baikonur was a cold war   
   attempt by the Soviets to fool the United States about where the base   
   was, a device which lasted *nearly* partway through the base   
   construction.  When covering the Apollo-Soyuz Test Project -- the first   
   Soviet launch attempt announced *before* launch -- ABC News science   
   editor Jules Bergman chewed out the Soviets for continuing to pretend   
   they were in Baikonur and insisted on providing the dateline Tyuratam.   
   However, the Baikonur dateline is still commonly used.   
   	   
   	- They're back on every Three Stooges Sketch ever, Conan in a   
   painter's outfit and little booties to protect his $8 shoes.  Stewart   
   has her trademarked color chart, Connections.  Conan's paint is Summer   
   day and a glaze of Spring Drizzle.  The brush is 100 percent bristle.   
   Paint inside the lines drawn for him and do not make a mistake.  It's   
   very nerve-wracking; what if he goes a little bit outside?  It's Conan's   
   wall and he'll have to live with that.  Stewart's wall is faux bois,   
   fake wood, with a grain simulating things, and she sprinkels on glaze.   
   And then her thingy is missing, terrifying Conan.  You pull it down on   
   the glaze and you get this knotty wood pattern.  Conan wants Conan   
   Orange paint.  She likes it.  Don't dare paint her.  He's hit on   
   something good.  We get to watching paint dry on national television.   
      
      
   Rob Huebel:   
   	- Is he getting recognized?  Not so much as he thought.  He'll   
   point it out to people; on a flight, a 14-year-old kid next to him was   
   watching a commercial for it, and he told the kid.  The kid didn't hear   
   him, then took the headphone off and looked at him horrified.  Then he   
   remembered: it was a sketch spoofing 'To Catch A Predator'.   
   	   
   	- Does he come from a funny family?  His dad was an airline   
   pilot in the 80s when it was more cool.  He got to go backstage at the   
   airport, to pilot lounges.  They'd hang out, smoking cigars, drinking   
   mini-bottles, waving shirts around, wrestling each other.  He did get to   
   fly free.  Once for a really full flight his dad smuggled him into the   
   pilot's coat closet, and let him sit on his suitcase or wherever.  He   
   listened to the air traffic controllers, 'They try to tell us where to   
   fly, but I don't listen.'  His dad was awesome at announcement.  'Aaaaah   
   ... ladies and gentlemen ... aaaaah ... this is your captain speaking   
   ... and if you look out left there's a mountain ... and on top of the   
   mountain I lost my virginity ... '   
   	   
   	- Mom's worried he'll fall into the wrong crowd.  She cuts out   
   clippings and sends them to him, with margin notes.  'Don't do drugs!   
   Cocaine is bad for you!'  He thought it had nutritional value.  One   
   clipping was of her church being remodelled.  In back is a painting of   
   Jesus.  She noted, she loves the picture of Jesus, he looks like such a   
   chick magnet.  (Or Eric Estrada.)   
      
      
   Ian Edwards:   
   	- Mixed-race 'girls' are always fine-looking, however ugly the   
   parents are.  He lists unlikely partnerings, including Smeagal from Lord   
   of the Rings and Condoleeza Rice.  He goes on to explain that Rice is   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)