From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max is:   
   	- Sincere as always.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- McDonald's introduced a Happy Meal with American Idol-inspired   
   toys, including a microphone, sunglasses, and Paula Abdul shotglass.   
   Michael Bloomberg wants to copy a Mexican anti-poverty program, a bus   
   ticket to Los Angeles.  Bush will meet the Prime Minister of Japan, as   
   Bush calls him, Mister Miyagi.  Jessica Simpson's father has offered to   
   manage Ricky Spears's career, noting, she's like the third untalented   
   daughter he never had.  Wal-Mart is opening 400 health clinics in their   
   stores, important as 50 percent of the people they'll treat there won't   
   have health insurance. Those people are Wal-Mart employees.  Angelina   
   Jolie has petitioned to change her Vietnamese Orphan's name to   
   ``Vietnamese Orphan Number 7''.  When the band is booing he has a   
   problem.  Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevy's ex-wife says, in her   
   book, that he's not really homosexual; McGreevy, furious, asked how many   
   guys you have to screw to get your wife to call you gay?  In my   
   experience, eight.   
      
      
   Walkover Music: Dude Looks Like A Lady.  Is there anything Max wants to   
   tell us?   
      
      
   YouTube Sensation:   
   	- Nora the piano-playing cat.  He's here tonight!  It looked   
   better in rehearsal.  She does classic, to, while not looking.  Late   
   Night with You Shoulda Seen It At Rehearsal.  She's a shy performer.   
      
      
   13th Annual Audiencey Awards:   
   	+ Didn't they just do this like two weeks ago?   
   	   
   	- Best Impression of a celebrity: 3-F, Vin Diesel.   
   	   
   	- Conan Christopher O'Brien Award for Being The Whitest Guy in   
   the Audience: 12-B.   
   	   
   	- Audience Member Who Knew He Might Be On TV But Wore That Shirt   
   Anyway: 4-C.  With some college dorm print on his shirt. Oh, it's dogs   
   playing poker.   
   	   
   	- Best Contortionist: 10-A.  He flips his head.   
   	   
   	- She show's broadcast to some of the Armed Forces.  They're   
   right over there, by the exit, watching on a monitor.  Both of them.   
   They didn't think the cat was that good.   
   	   
   	- Guy I Was Gonna Make Fun Of Until I Realized He Could Rip Me   
   Limb From Limb: B-17.  He punches his fist some.  The soldiers don't   
   think Conan could take him.  His bicep is three times thicker than   
   Conan's leg, but he shouldn't gloat.   
   	   
   	- Best Audience Ever: 19 February 2007, seen in a picture.  He's   
   kidding.  It's from 21 March 2007.  All right, it's you guys.   
   	   
   	+ Note that there *was* an Audiencey sketch on both 19 February   
   and on 21 March, so my impression that they just did it is valid.   
   Curiously, poking on my server indicates the 19 February summary wasn't   
   posted, although   
   	   
   	   
      
   Darrell Hammond:   
   	- Think he'll be loud Regis or quiet Regis?  Everybody has one.   
   Conan learned his from Dana Carvey.  Hammond does Regis scat-singing,   
   although that's Popeye.   
   	   
   	- The Donald Trump/Rosie O'Donnell fight: don't pick a fight   
   with Trump.  ``If I had a nickel for every time someone says that ...   
   oh, wait, I *do*.''   
   	   
   	- Bill Clinton: would he enjoy being the First Husband?  In the   
   White House, with no responsibilities besides hanging out with all the   
   First Ladies of other countries ... Hillary Clinton always has the look   
   like she hates -- here the Tivo reception started getting wonky.  Sorry.   
    She could scare bad guys out of the country, though.   
   	   
   	- What would Dick Cheney be like as President for a Day?  ``Look   
   at the world map on that computer ... try and find Korea ... It's not   
   there anymore, is it?''  Yes, he'd be a mass murderer eagerly.   
   	   
   	- How would you deal with being in a world where you were always   
   right?  This gets on Dr Phil somehow, as if he were facing Kim Jong-Il.   
   ``My dog can hump a table leg, but that doesn't get you puppies, okay?''   
      
      
      
   Conan O'Brien Hates My Homeland:   
   	- Turkey: Formerly the Ottoman Empire, whose greatest   
   achievement was inventing a piece of furniture to rest your feet on.   
   	   
   	- Turkmenistan: Why don't more people give their children   
   Turkmen names?  I don't know, let's ask President Gurbanguly   
   Berdimuhammedow.   
   	   
   	- Turks and Caicos: Where the National library his housed under   
   the reception desk of a Sandals Resort.   
   	   
   	- Tunisia: Remember that scene in Star Wars where they're on   
   that desert planet and go into a bar with all those weird creatures?   
   Well, guess what, that was filmed in Tunisia and those weren't actors.   
   	   
   	- Uganda: Situated right between Rwanda and the Sudan.  Jealous?   
      
      
      
   Andrew WK:   
   	- He's written seven songs with ``Party'' in the title,   
   including ``Party Till You Puke'' and ``Party Party Party''.  What's the   
   key to it?  All his songs are party songs, as in celebrations.   
   	   
   	- He's sure there are times Conan felt like not coming in, and   
   when perspective is lost and he feels obligated and trapped, then WK is   
   there to tell him that he didn't have to come in there.  Conan agrees   
   then: he quits.  All right, no, this is Conan's dream job, but there are   
   moments, like when the cat's arms pop off, that your soul leaves your   
   body and you wish you were on the high seas in the 17th century stealing   
   gold.   
   	   
   	- Why is he a motivational performer rather than a speaker?  He   
   doesn't just speak.  He can move spastically around.  That was one of   
   those moments Conan felt like doing something else.   
      
      
   Blue October:   
   	- From ``Foiled'':  I believe it's She's My Ride Home.  Pleasant   
   song, made well enough, but I'm not going to remember it by the time you   
   read this summary.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)