From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Clearly, this was taped Monday.   
   Max is:   
   	- Worse at this than the audience was.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Hillary Clinton says if elected she'll use Bill Clinton as   
   ambassador, as she can't think of a better cheerleader for America.   
   Bill can think of 20 and has phone numbers.  Some viewers are organizing   
   Sanjaya fan clubs, Fan-jayas.  Or by their current name, deaf people.   
   Simon Cowell's home in London was recently robbed; he says the thieves   
   made off with 36 extra-small black T-shirts.  There was a meeting   
   between the two oldest people in America this week, they were 113 and   
   114 years old.  They had a good time and said the sex was incredible.   
   Sheryl Crowe has proposed using only one square of toilet paper to   
   protect the environment.  Don't ever shake hands with Sheryl Crowe.   
      
      
   Max has no idea what he just played.  (``Since you've been gone.''  All   
   the kids are singing it.  Two years ago.)  Conan drills Max on what he   
   did this week.  It includes sanding his drumsticks.   
      
      
   Late Night in San Francisco:   
   	- That fantastic guy is excited by the scheduled guests.   
   Snooptastic is not a word.  'The Empire Strikes-Tastic'?   
      
      
   Actual Items:   
   	- Garrison (NY) Gazette: sofas and chairs.  The Sanjaya of   
   sofas.   
   	   
   	- Charlotte (NC) Observer: children's clothing.  One says   
   'slut'.   
   	   
   	- Upper Darby (PA) Chronicle: laxative.  Taste free; 100%   
   natural fiber; ``Helps the train leave the station.''   
   	   
   	- Tempe (AZ) Times: Dura-flame logs.  Flames up faster than your   
   gay son at a scissor Sisters concert.   
   	   
   	- Bakersfield (CA) Beacon: cheap liquor.  Paula Abdul says, 'If   
   you can find a better deal on rum, let me know!'   
   	   
   	- Newburg (IN) Post: classic leatherbound books.  Moby-Dick, The   
   Three Musketeers, 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, If I Did It.   
   	   
   	- LaPorte (IN) Times: glass-enclosed porches.  Your neighbors   
   deserve to see your morning erection!   
   	   
   	- Stockbridge (MA) Post: collectible presidental coins.  George   
   Washington, Thomas Jefferson, George W Bush (picking his nose).  Note   
   that the dates on that end his term in 2008, while his term is scheduled   
   to end 2009.   
      
      
   Garry Shandling:   
   	- He wants to be in the audience; they don't feel stress from   
   Conan.  Just pity.  He didn't want to think the spotlight was on him.   
   Has Conan got anything to plug?  An SPF 65 sunblock; it shoots light   
   back up at the sky.  Shandling has #40 Emotional Block.  They could walk   
   on the beach, Conan in the sun and him not complaining.   
   	   
   	- Conan doesn't look online at what people say.  Shandling   
   doesn't even know where to go.  He can type in his name; hitting return,   
   though ... he doesn't want to know what anyone thinks of him.   
   	   
   	- At the Emmys, they rode bareback on a horse.  The audience   
   doesn't believe it's for television.  Conan doesn't get to probe his   
   mind, like Mister Spock.  This turns into discussion of Dr Spock.   
   Shandling goes to the Laker game to get his mind off his life, but then   
   they show celebrity faces on the Jumbotron, which is uncomfortable.   
   They applaud you; then they cut to Eddie Murphy, and the place explodes.   
    He calls ahead to see who'll be there before going now.   
   	   
   	- Shandling doesn't think immigration is that exciting.  The   
   Mexican immigration problem or the Irish immigration problem?  What are   
   Conan's racial theories?  How high do gas prices have to get for it to   
   be the end of the world?  $6.50 a gallon?  $7.40, according to   
   Revelations.  We should put our money in the space program and leave   
   Earth, and don't worry about the reentry tiles.  Build a fence there.   
   If the country is so technologically advanced ... has Conan ever gone to   
   therapy?  Would he be interested in couples theory?  He would.   
   Shandling's eyes dart away.  Is building a fence the best we can do?   
   Didn't we try fences at the Alamo, and the Mexicans constructed what   
   they called a 'ladder', and ... was the gift shop there originally?  Did   
   the Mexicans buy a T-shirt when they won?  He doesn't mind Mexicans   
   taking his job; he wishes George Lopez was here to take his job now.   
   	   
   	- What were they talking about during commercials?  See it   
   online.  Shandling gave a great idea for the Emmies.  They should give   
   everyone an award when they come in, and one-by-one take them away.   
   When did red carpets become elegant?  They're only in miniature golf   
   courses and trailer homes.   
   	   
   	- Giuliani being married three times proves he knows what an   
   exit strategy is.  Shandling suspects Hillary Clinton wants to get   
   elected so she can have an affair and get even with Bill.   
   	   
   	- He flew in 'Tuesday' or 'Wednesday' and it's been spectacular   
   all week long.  Did he enjoy the wonderful weather?  As you know, May is   
   my favorite month.  He was in Central Park 'let's say Monday'.  He'd   
   never seen the John Lennon memorial.  He couldn't find the Captain and   
   Tenille Memorial.  Is that funny enough for Conan?  A guy he didn't know   
   turned to him and said it was funny enough.  In New York City you can   
   just go to Central Park and say things aloud and people will advise you,   
   it's for Charlie Rose.   
   	   
   	- When The Larry Sanders Show was on, they literally did not   
   know how many people were on because his demographics were skewed   
   towards those who have illegal hookups.  Now they claim the demographic   
   has moved over to pirating DVDs.  After this he has a DVD signing in an   
   alley up in 114th street.   
   	   
   	   
      
   Adam Brody:   
   	- He's glad to see Shandling stayed here; less for him to do.   
   Shandling's glad to see him, and looks away.  Brody approves of the   
   joke.  Brody's been growing a beard since 'forever'.  Emotionally.  But   
   really only a few weeks.  Shandling's not prepared to discuss his beard.   
    They get onto comparative beards.   
   	   
   	- Is it heartbreaking to lose his 'OC' fake family?  He has to   
   talk to his parents ;it's not as snappy.  He still talks to most of the   
   people.  Part of him hoped his and Ryan's characters would end up   
   running off together.  He thinks spiritually they are together, even if   
   his character got married to someone else.  He *did so* watch the last   
   episode, there was just a lot of montage.   
   	   
   	- Shandling thinks he's very physically oriented like many   
   actors and wonders if he can get some soup.  There's that good weekend   
   weather.  Tonight's show will not air.  Shandling: sometimes it's good   
   weather and sometimes it's global warming.  Shandling's aware that Brody   
   is between two lunatics; Brody feels comfortably sandwiched.  Isn't   
   there something about a movie?  Available on 114th street?  Shandling   
   worked with Meg Ryan.   
      
      
   Ricky Skaggs and Bruce Hornsby:   
   	- From the album of the same name, I expect.  'The Dreaded   
   Spoon'.  They're incredibly cool.  Don't dare fast-forward through it.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)