From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Home of Something I Could Not Make Out After Four Times Listening To It.   
   String Dance!   
      
   Conologue:   
   	- The upper balcony sat down ten minutes ago.  Settle down.  He   
   knows why you're here; the marquis says Free Medical Marijuana.  That   
   guy thinks he's on Charlie Rose.  The theater holds 3,000 people or 60   
   Barry Bonds.  He'll get mad at Conan and throw him into the Moon.   
   Golden State Warriors have been living up to 'We Believe In The   
   Unbelievable', though they're thinking of a new slogan, 'Charles Barkley   
   Should Shut His Pie-hole'.  The mayor plans to make the city a sanctuary   
   for illegal immigrants; as a result, it's changing its name to Los   
   Angeles.  A flock of wild parrots live in the Telegraph Hill district.   
   They keep asking for a cracker with a dab of brie.  Part of the freeway   
   collapsed; Max, who cheers a freeway collapse?  Governor Schwarzenneger   
   inspected the freeway and says he did everything to 'minimize the impact   
   on commuters', although when he said it, it sounded like 'Minnie mouse   
   is packing my kimono.'  And then he ate a sausage.   
   	   
   	- An honor: Lung's White Crane comes out with their Coney's   
   Dragon.  Bet you wondered where the giant Conan mascot head had gone,   
   didn't you?  The head is actual size.   
   	   
   	- The week would have been impossible without the help of Intel   
   and Sam Wo's Restaurant.  813 Washington Street.  Conan goes into his   
   Intel spiel.  He doesn't want to be a gutless mouthpiece; the   
   self-righteous outburst is brought to you by Intel.   
      
      
   Conan at Lucasfilm:   
   	- There's a statue of Yoda, 900 years old, with a bladder   
   control problem.  John Sing(?) shows some of the original costumes.   
   This is Darth Vader, right?  There's a retractable board in his   
   codpiece.  George Slansky, producer, identifies the Vader as a replica   
   based on the chestplate.  George is somehow not Pierre Bernard.  When he   
   said it was the original, he was lying.   
   	   
   	- Darth Maul specializes in musical theater.  Boba Fett, he's a   
   bounty hunter. He's got braids. George questions the Jedi braids; he   
   thought they were Wookie braids.   
   	   
   	- ET from four million light years away?  No, it's six million   
   light years away.   
   	   
   	- Dragonslayer.  A whip from Indiana Jones.  Conan wields the   
   whip.  He whips himself in the back.  Imperial At-At.  Conan drops it,   
   and breaks it.   
   	   
   	- Charles, in Nerd Corner.  He has a fan, so he never has to go   
   outside.  It simulates what it would be like if he took ten steps and   
   went outside.   
   	   
   	- Kevin has pro wrestling figures; his parents wanted them out   
   of the house.  Were his parents worried that he has a vast collection of   
   men without shirts?   
   	   
   	- Maya is asked about the male-to-female ratio ... Conan   
   estimates it at 800-to-one.  He sets Maya up with Charles.   
   	   
   	- Mike Sanders shows off virtual studios.  Conan has to wear a   
   humbling lycra suit  Why is it humbling?  Conan agrees this was a   
   mistake.  He tries being The Schwa.  He gets the phone call he's been   
   cut from Star Wars.  They think I have an eating disorder?  C-3PO, he   
   does as a Rockette.  Is there a movie where he gets bad?  This is   
   herniated disc 3PO.  Too-many-martinis 3PO.  ``I'm okay.''  Chewbacca   
   says he's had too much, but 3PO carries on, and vomits. 3PO in the   
   Conologue spot and doing a string dance.   
   	   
   	- He gets Kevin and Charles, to take them ... *outside*.  They   
   frolic in the grass.   
      
      
   George Lucas:   
   	- It's all right; the animators need to be liberated once in a   
   while.  He can do it with his hair when he needs to do it.  The studio   
   originally didn't like the title Star Wars, as they thought it would be   
   about Richard Burton versus Elizabeth Taylor.  Luke started as Luke   
   Starkiller; it went through evolutions.  Was originally more about   
   Annakin.  It seemed to be less menacing ... plus, if he hadn't changed   
   it, he'd now be inviting people to the Starkiller Ranch.   
   	   
   	- Why did he put himself in the last movie?  His kids wanted it,   
   and it's the 'last shot'.  Baron Papanoyda.  Did he have any say over   
   the costume?  (It appears to be an Andorian Pirate of Penzance.)  He   
   says he looks like the Wizard of Oz; Conan identifies a bit of Captain   
   Crunch.   
   	   
   	- Star Wars fans must stun him and challenge him.  He has the   
   advantage that his middle name is W, he's more than the decider, he's   
   the *creator*.  His employees call him god, his children call him   
   garbage.  Jordan thinks he can stump Lucas with a question.   
   	   
   	Q: In the 1977 film, Darth uses the force to strange an Imperial   
   Officer.  His name was listed in the end credits.  What is the name of   
   that character?   
   	   
   	A. Conan Antoniomatti.  Correct!  (I have no idea if it is right   
   or not, and I ran out of energy to search.)   
   	   
   	- Star Wars Television Show, an animated series on the Clone   
   Wars.  It doesn't actually go anywhere.   
   	   
   	- Star Wars Characters to Audition:   
   		- Artoo Mister Teetoo (``I pity the Sith.'')  Thumbs-up.   
      
   		   
   		- Liposuction Jabba the Hutt.  (That same costume   
   again!)   
   		   
   		- Jew-bacca   
      
   	+ Lucas only gets one segment?   
      
      
   Conan in Germany:   
   	- He has a bodyguard, Bern, who'll make sure that everyone keeps   
   their distance.  They're on an empty boat.   
      
      
   The Giants:   
   	- People in kayaks fill up hoping to catch a Barry Bonds home   
   run ball. They're playing at home this week; Conan wants to leave the   
   city with his own Barry Bonds ball.  His time is limited, but his funds   
   are not.  He's enlisted the Gorton's Fisherman to help.  Watch what   
   happens next time a kayaker snags one: he'll be run down, netted, hauled   
   up, and beaten.  And here's the Gorton's Fisherman.   
      
      
   Will Arnett:   
   	- He just met one of his heroes, the Gorton's Fisherman.  He met   
   Lucas once in Los Angeles, a few weeks ago, with his manager.  He was   
   awed. his manager was on his blackberry, so he just sort of sniffed and   
   nodded; Lucas kept walking.  His manager tilts his head to say, ``Big   
   fan.''   
   	   
   	- He had to learn to act like a figure skater.  He did know how   
   to skate as he's Canadian.  They're born with (the guy in favor of a   
   bridge collapse whoops) the skill.  There are some faces he has to make.   
    He was sure he knew the faces to make.  Look at the kiss-and-cry area.   
   Various hopeful looks, the score's not as good as you'd like looks, so   
   on.  His favorite is while skating, The head-up, chin-extended, scary   
   smile?   
   	   
   	- He air-guitars the Law and Order theme.  Also air-keyboard and   
   air-clarinets.  He's retired that number, but he has a new one, the   
   music from Seinfeld.  And Santana?  Conan's on bongos.   
      
      
   Chris Isaak:   
   	- He's touring soon.  ``San Francisco Days'' which I take it is   
   from the album of the same name.  You know what Chris Isaak sounds like.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)