From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Tom Selleck:   
   	- The penis thing works.  What is he talking about?  He just   
   wanted to say penis on national television.   
   	   
   	- How do you say avocado?  He owns a farm, it's a huge   
   business, he's never thought of it?  He says avocado rancher   
   (roncher).   
   	   
   	- There was a big freeze.  He's a state disaster area, lost   
   600 trees.  Has crop insurance; they called, looked at his avocados,   
   and said they don't have to pay for it because he has more trees and   
   they'll earn the money to pay for it.   
   	   
   	- He was supposed to have a piece of the Magnum, PI Halloween   
   costume.  He endorsed it, but they never sent any money.  It's such a   
   good idea they must have sold it.   
   	   
   	- Conan found a photo online.  They got the costume.  Conan   
   puts the hat on; it doesn't look anything like his hair ever looked   
   like.  Selleck thinks this is big.  Conan puts on the moustache, and   
   becomes Borat.  He puts on the cap and the Hawaiian shirt, and becomes   
   Balki's country cousin.  Conan claims it's an Italian baker.  The   
   resemblance is uncanny.   
   	   
   	- Eisenhower with the moustache is ... different.   
   	   
   	- He put no money into it, and got none back.   
   	   
   	- There might be a Magnum, PI movie.  Is he excited?  He   
   doesn't know if he'll be in it; they didn't call or write.  Maybe the   
   avocado people, the bad insurance people, and the costume people are   
   all calling at the same time.   
   	   
   	- They spend $100 million on special effects and make fun of   
   the original, and try to make the original actor to do some ridiculous   
   cameo, and he won't do that.  He thinks that's a ripoff to the fans   
   and won't do that unless they pay him a lot of money, and then he'll   
   wear a ballerina costume.   
   	   
   	- An entertainment show polled on who should do it.  George   
   Clooney came in second.  Selleck came in first.  Conan could be the   
   annoying sidekick who eats avocado.  Richie Magnum, the nephew.  He'd   
   last 30 seconds in the Hawaiian sun.   
   	   
   	- Jessie Stone's Sea Change is the new project.   
      
      
      
   	   
   John Stamos:   
   	- They did a San Francisco segment with Bob Saget, and   
   realized, they're both now working on NBC, him on 1 vs 100.  He calls   
   this odds of getting another job after doing a game show.   
   	   
   	- Saget made Stamos come over and watch Conan talking with him   
   about Stamos on the TV.  Conan argues about how they rub themselves.   
   	   
   	- He got best hug from some magazine for hugging Zach Braff.   
   He'd read an article Braff was depressed and tried to bring him cheer;   
   then he saw the picture and got depressed.   
   	   
   	- ER was in trouble but is reenergized.  He's added sex   
   appeal.  Stamos flutters his manly eyebrows.  Are they putting in   
   cases where he has to operate on this patient, but has to take his   
   shirt off?  He's not a shirt-off guy; Selleck used to be.  Selleck   
   didn't pump up between takes.   
   	   
   	- Why is he self-conscious about it?  What are you getting at,   
   Conan?  He has a weird belly button.  As a kid they thought he had a   
   hernia, and they sewed it up, and he has this weird scar.  It looks   
   like a small nose.  A midget or a little people nose.  It's horrible?   
   They have to see it.   
   	   
   	- Stamos insists all show their belly buttons.  Conan warns   
   people to adjust the contrast on their set, as he has nine fewer   
   layers of makeup there.  his belly button is completely ordinary.   
   Selleck is next; his is also pretty normal.  He puts his finger in and   
   wiggles it around.   
   	   
   	- Drumroll and ... oh.  yes, he has got a weird belly button.   
   Conan jumps over to the railing.  He had an ex who wanted to cut it.   
   Selleck points out you could put a Magnum moustache on, which is ...   
   well.  Now Stamos urges Conan to put it on.   
   	   
   	- Conan loves trying to segue into the ER season finale.   
   	   
   	   
      
      
   Dan Mintz:   
   	+ Jenna Fischer had been listed and was on the Tivo labelling   
   too.  Mintz delivers disconnected quips in a Kermit-voiced monotone.   
      
   	- He unsuccessfully employed traditional dating strategies.   
   	   
   	- Some of his ideas fail to pan out, such as in starting   
   businesses.   
   	   
   	- He ponders the Superman introduction monologue.   
   	   
   	- His aging parents present special problems.   
   	   
   	- He has learned about airport security.   
   	   
   	- He applies a piece of workplace dress advice.   
   	   
   	- He was disappointed by a massage.   
   	   
   	- He's jealous of new frontiers in masturbation and considers   
   how technology has changed old masturbation fodder.   
   	   
   	- Euthanasia meets consumer electronics, and he reads an STD   
   pamphlet.   
   	   
   	- He also considers consumer shopping advice.   
   	   
   	- He considers the possibilities if he were never born.   
   	   
   	- Police auctions have some interesting items.   
   	   
   	- His marriage has its peculiarities to which he must adjust.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)