From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max Is:   
   	- Speaking like Yoda now.  (``And you too, it's good to see.'')   
   	   
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Arnold Schwarzenneger told a Latino group if immigrants want   
   to learn English they shouldn't read foreign-language newspaper.  The   
   immigrant group suggested Arnold tell them how he learned English, and   
   they'll do the opposite.  Sausage.   
   	   
   	- Bill Clinton earned more than $10 million for giving speeches   
   last year, half of which he gave to Charity; the other half he gave to   
   her sister Tiffany.   
   	   
   	- Republican presidential candidates Sam Brownback and Tom   
   Tankreido promise that if elected President they will pardon Scooter   
   Libby.  So, sorry, Scooter, you are going to jail.   
   	   
   	- Former New Jersey governor James McGreevy says his ex-wife's   
   book is going poorly as she dresses poorly during TV interviews.  His   
   wife's spokesman said, ``All right, we get it, you're gay.''   
   	   
   	- A man is suing his dry-cleaners for $54 million for a lost   
   pair of pants.  The pants aren't lost; they're just hiding from their   
   crazy owner.   
   	   
   	- Vancouver celebrated Naked Bike Ride Day last week.  Now   
   Vancounver is celebrating Chafed Testicles Week.   
   	   
   	- Ryan Seacrest says American Idol's ratings were down because   
   Simon Cowell got too much air time.  Others say it's because Paula Abdul   
   got too much Miller Time.   
   	   
   	- Conan's tie is trying to escape.  It's made or sherbert.   
   Courtesy Willy Wonka.   
      
      
   Wardrobe Superviser Bruce $_ gets upset when Conan mocks his ties.   
   	- That's literally how he talks.  Ooh, Mrs Muir.   
      
      
   Bye Bye, Bob Barker   
   	- Conan grew up watching this guy, wearing his mother's clothes   
   at home.   
   	   
   	- He began hosting in 1972; some people remember it well.  They   
   reunited the first season Barker's Beauties.  (Carol has been cremated.   
   The others are on walkers and have an IV drip.)   
   	   
   	- The Price is Right was not his first game show; unsuccessful   
   programs include What's In My Pants?; 1st One to Count To A Million   
   Wins!; NOW What's In My Pants?; Are You Bullet Proof?  (Tragic; never   
   aired.)   
   	   
   	- In 1987 he stopped dying his hair and went with his natural   
   gray; in 1993 he did it without his dentures.  For a while he did it   
   while off his medication.  (They don't bother retouching the backdrops   
   for authenticity.)   
   	   
   	- When he says ``Come On Down'' people go crazy.  So ... ``Guy   
   in a military uniform, come on down!  Heavy-set lady, come on down!   
   REALLY heavy-set lady, come on down!  Slow old man in a bad seat, come   
   on down!  Closeted gay man, come on down!''  (It's LaBamba.)  What, no   
   stoner college student who'll bid 420 to the applause of his easily   
   amused cohort?   
   	   
   	- They've already taped his final episode.  Conan got to see an   
   advanced copy; he doesn't think Conan handled the pressure of the finale   
   well.  ``Some more money from the big wheel '' ... a slow-motion   
   flashback with the steady beeping ... and a Sopranos fade to black.   
   	   
   	- Hit particularly hard by Barker's retirement?  The Cliffhanger   
   guy.  He's on the roof of the studio and not in good shape.  He yodels   
   his way up to the top and ... falls off, hitting a model car and setting   
   off the alarm.   
   	   
   	- Bob's been a tireless advocate for spaying and neutering pets.   
    Here's a veterinarian to do a neutering on the show.  Dr Dennis   
   Fitzsimmons: He'll be neutering the vilest, foulest creature to lurk in   
   the show's nether regions ... The Evil Puppy.  It backfires.  (I thought   
   the point of The Evil Puppy was he didn't do anything?)   
   	   
   	- Slow Old Man finally gets to the front row.  Almost.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)