From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max is:   
   	- Not seeming enthused, and he works there.  The crowd didn't   
   agree they'd have a good time until one guy said 'I think we will'.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- JetBlue has apologized; its president introduced a Passenger   
   Bill of Rights, including the rights to fly Delta and United.   
      
   	- The White House denied that the Iraq War is the worst foreign   
   policy mistake in US history; they point out Bush still has two more   
   years in office.   
      
   	- Bush spoke with the prime minister of Australia on the phone.   
   When the Prime Minister told him it was tomorrow in Australia Bush's   
   head exploded.   
      
   	- Barry Bonds has a security guard in spring training; he needs   
   him to pee in a cup for him.   
      
   	- Spike TV is doing a reality TV show for amateur detectives to   
   try solving real crimes, for the reassuring 'Your loved one is dead, but   
   don't worry, Gary Coleman is on the case.'   
      
   	- Britney Spears showed up at a club wearing a blonde wig; to   
   not be recognized, she wore underwear.   
      
   	- For the record, I've spent more time stuck on a United plane   
   on the tarmac at Chicago waiting to take off to fly to Newark than I've   
   spent flying *from* Chicago to Newark.  Altogether too often they try to   
   amuse us by playing the 'Starsky and Hutch' movie.  I will not be flying   
   from Chicago to Newark any more.  One could argue I barely was.   
      
      
   Sirius Satellite Radio and XM Satellite Radio Merger Small Talk Moment:   
   	- Max is excited, for things like Mojo Nixon.  I'm vaguely   
   interested in satellite radio since they've got old-time radio and I   
   rather like Fibber McGee and Molly, Lum & Abner, and particularly Fred   
   Allen.  Conan likes Musical Star Streams.   
      
      
   Ways for Britney Spears to look Weirder:   
   	- Michael Jackson nose and Angelina Jolie lips.  She's a blade   
   runner.   
   	   
   	- African lip plate and neck rings.   
   	   
   	- Shave her teeth into sharp points.   
   	   
      
   The New La Bamba:   
   	- He's better-shaved than yesterday.  Jerry puts on the Salvador   
   Dali moustache, the 70s Porn Star moustache, Charlie Chaplin, and of   
   course the Hitler, which gets booed (booing Hitler is the understatement   
   of the century -- ``That guy ruined the 20th century!''  ``Don't worry,   
   I got it.  Boo!''), and a Mentos sticker.   
      
      
   Mark Pender wrote a song to tell Britney how he feels:   
   	- It was not too long ago, that you were my fantasy, now you've   
   shaved all of your hair, and you look like a female me.  Oh, Britney, I   
   hate to say, but I've got to put you on the shelf, 'cause thinking about   
   you that way is like masturbating to myself.  Oh, Britney!!!!!  Why do   
   you have to look like me?   Oh baby baby baby baby baby Britney yah!   
   (Shiminiy shiminy hey hey.)  Shiminiy shiminy hey hey.  ( Shiminey   
   bababababy.)  Shiminey bababababy.  Shimini ... oh, it's all scatting,   
   just accept it.   
   	   
      
   Conan's Cue Card Guy is running slow:   
   	- Conan jokes it's like waiting for a jetBlue plane.  A jetBlue   
   pilot argues about it; kicking a guy (well, a company) when he was down.   
    For the cheap joke Conan's lost a fan.   
      
    	- He said he was leaving and he's leaving.   
      
   	- He'll be leaving any second.  He's leaving soon.  He's going   
   up the aisle.   
      
   	- He offers some potato chips.  He'll be leaving shortly; there   
   was a little miscommunication.   
      
   	- He knows Conan has a choice of people to offend and drive out   
   of his studio and he thanks Conan for choosing jet Blue.   
      
   	- He'll leave in about 13 hours.  A pilot for Southwest Airlines   
   leaves now, and he means now.   
      
   	- The show's brought to us by Southwest Airlines.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)