From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   String dance!  It's just Conesey-Wonesey.   
      
   Max is:   
   	- Practicing that line for hours before the show.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- British government is withdrawing troops from Iraq.  It could   
   be a while; they're flying jetBlue.   
      
   	- Denmark and Lithuania are pulling their troops out of Iraq.   
   It's one guy who's half-Danish, half-Lithuanian.  His name's Thor   
   Nisdale.   
      
   	- Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have MySpace pages.  Barack's   
   got twice as many MySpace friends.  It's almost as impressive as Bill   
   Clinton's on Match.com.   
      
    	- Britney Spears checked into rehab, and today checked out.   
   She's all better.   
      
   	- Her hair's being sold on eBay, for over a million dollars.  A   
   collector with a lock of Lincoln's hair said it's only worth five   
   thousand dollars.  So everybody clear their heads and take the advice of   
   the guy who owns a piece of Lincoln's hair.   
      
   	- Dancing With The Stars producers announced this season it'll   
   feature Billy Ray Cyrus, Joey Fatone from N'Sync, and Ian Ziering from   
   90210, and is changing its name to Dancing\ With People Who Sound   
   Vaguely Familiar.  (I figured he'd quip that they would also get some   
   stars.)   
      
      
   Keep It Real, Conan!   
   	- He's never kept it real.  Look at his hair, made of weird   
   foam.   
      
      
   University of Massachusetts Survey:   
   	- Ordinary people tell about two lies every ten minutes.  Joel   
   thinks it's outrageous; he doesn't lie that much.  Conan knows Joel's a   
   good person.  They talk about getting together tonight.  Joel's plans   
   include getting drunk, listening to Billy Holiday, and looking at crime   
   scene photographs.  What a fun little play they did.  Conan bows.   
   	   
      
   Conan On The Aisle Oscar Edition:   
   	- The Queen.  He doubts Helen Mirrin is a shoe-in for the Queen.   
    She has a silly voice.   
   	   
   	- Superman Returns.  Technical award.  Conan hated the endless   
   scenes about how hard it is to deal with super-strength in everyday   
   life.  Supes crushes his mother's heart and sternum.   
   	   
   	- The Devil Wears Prada.  He doubts the producers read the book,   
   but just took the title literally.  There's a Prada-wearing devil.   
   You'd think a big movie could afford a decent devil.   
   	   
   	- An Inconvenient Truth.  Conan thought the trailer was tedious.   
    Patagonia, Kilimanjaro, half-gallon of ice cream, TV Guide, porn star   
   Ron Jeremy, et cetera.   
   	   
   	- Letters From Iwo Jima.  Eastwood didn't speak Japanese.  I   
   have the order from Genral Hayashi.  you are to begin the attack   
   immediately.  Hey, I know this is the scene where we argue but I can't   
   remember my lines.  Eastwood won't know the difference.  Let's just fake   
   it.  Okay, I'll talk real loud!  That should fool him.  And since   
   Eastwood didn't bother to learn Japanese, let me just say I thought   
   'Million Dollar Baby' was an overrated piece of krunk.  That was fun.   
   I'll bet the krunk bought it.  See you at lunch!   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)