From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   	From San Francisco!  The most tolerant city in America, as long   
   as you recycle!   
      
   	String dance!   
      
   Conologue:   
   	- No matter how different anyone is, they have in common that   
   they all hate Los Angeles.   
      
   	- The only city where marijuana is legal but plastic bags are   
   not.   
   	   
   	- How about their set, and the replica of the Golden Gate   
   Bridge?  They had a replica of the Bay Bridge, but it collapsed.  Yeah,   
   yeah, you'll take it.   
   	   
   	- Exciting for basketball fans. The Warriors are a game away   
   from eliminating the Mavericks.  Their new slogan: 'We believe in the   
   unbelievable', replacing the old, 'We're one of several teams in the   
   NBA'.   
   	   
   	- The mayor sent flowers.  He tried to thank them and said   
   they're for Conan's wife.   
   	   
   	- It's a cultural town; there's over 60 museums here, but one   
   for each member of Jefferson Airplane?  Ask your parents.   
   	   
   	- The fortune cookie was invented in San Francisco in 1909, when   
   someone said ``that cookie is delicious, but what will happen to me in   
   the future''?   
   	   
   	- The Giants stadium has wireless so you can bring your laptop;   
   the stadium combines America's favorite pastimes, baseball and   
   pornography.   
      
      
   To honor the rich rock and roll heritage of San Francisco:   
   	- La Bamba is dressed, from Sly and the Family Stone, LaBamba   
   'Sly' Stone!   
      
      
   Gift to San Francisco:   
   	- The Transgender Transamerica Tower!   
      
      
   Thanks, to Intel.  Also Sam Wo's Restaurant.   
      
      
   San Francisco In One Day:   
   	- 8:00.  Washington Square Tai Chi.  The original cast of Chorus   
   Line is there.  Scenes cut from Pirates of the Caribbean.   
   	   
   	- Telegraph Hill, Coit Tower.  It looks like a penis.  Conan   
   gives a tour of the 1931 building, built by the Coit Brothers, Corwyn   
   and Corky Coit.  The Pacific Ocean, the Indian ocean, small portions of   
   Cincinatti are visible.  The railing was put in two years ago after   
   hundreds of deaths.  It's over 666 feet tall, the Coit brothers' tribute   
   to the devil.  Alcatraz housed many famous criminals -- Bugsy Siegel,   
   the birdman of Alcatraz, the Ratman of Alcatraz, rats, Jack Cheddar   
   Cheese Watson, released when he promised not to steal cheddar anymore,   
   re-jailed when he stole Swiss cheese, he was renamed Jack Swiss Cheese   
   Watson.  He apologizes for not making sense.  But you listened.   
   	   
   	- The Divinity Tree, for medical marijuana.  The has his   
   glaucoma glasses.  Hold up some fingers.  That's a broom.   
   	   
   	- No trip to San Francisco is cliched without a trip to   
   Chinatown, motto, 'Restaurants for Customers Only'.  Cynthia Yee,   
   historian, is excited.  Everyone's talking over tea and cakes.  A man   
   there is not excited.  ``He doesn't know how to respond.''  All Conan   
   heard is no.  Another woman looks scared by his dancing.  She recognized   
   him right away and started running away.  Another said she had to fix   
   her teeth, right away.  Another man looks moderately interested,   
   although he may well be lying.  But he's Conan's #1 Chinatown Fan,   
   Weicheng Ye.   
   	   
   	- The House from Full House: Bob Saget lives there!  He never   
   left once the show went off the air.  The whole cast's there.  See?   
   Saget sends the Olsen Twins to bed.  He just leaves the door open.   
      
   	- Soccer in the park.  It's intercut with the 'Full House'   
   credits.   
   	   
   	- What else is there to see?  The Mitchell Brothers Live Sex   
   Theater.   
   	   
   	- GoCar cruising through the streets. Barely.  They should   
   probably return #18, but that would take a lot of time.  They run away.   
      
      
      
   San Francisco Late Night Small Talk Moment:   
   	- It's about the I-580 collapse.  Discussion of alternate routes   
   brings considerable applause.   
      
      
   Dana Carvey:   
   	- He does Arnold Schwarzenegger.  He compares parks and mayors   
   with New York City.  Bloomberg has a bit of a munchkin thing.  How are   
   the Knicks doing?  (Has anyone seen the Knicks in a decade now?)   
   	   
   	- Carvey claims Conan's thinking of moving the show to San   
   Francisco.  He was driving his Prius which runs on baked beans and   
   Frooty Pebbles, he checked his hemp watch, why not make a key to the   
   city for Conan out of healing energy?  Conan rubs himself.   
      
   	- Boo lakes, boo trees.  Carvey's been married for 25 years, to   
   seven different women.   
   	   
   	- You don't want to divorce with kids, since you then have to   
   explain it to them in that sing-song voice.  And talk down to your   
   children about how they don't hit daddy and the like.   
      
   	- Carvey gave Conan a lot of good advice in the past; he wants   
   to give some more, and sings Scott McKenzie's 'San Francisco (Flower in   
   your Hair)'.  Conan answers with Journey's ``Lights'', and they go to   
   Starship's ``We Built This City (On Rock And Roll)''.  Neither go to   
   Bronislaw Kaper and Gus Kahn's classic ``San Francisco,'' possibly   
   because they never heard of it.   
      
      
   Jasper Redd:   
   	- He discusses white fascination with blacks, a phenomenon only   
   centuries old, and the ensuing questions about civil rights.  Some want   
   to be doctors and astronauts; some want to be Flavor Flav.   
   	   
   	- He dislikes a term for whites pretending to be black, which   
   ends up loaded with offensiveness.  The proper word would be ``wack''.   
   	   
   	- He boldly speaks out against political correctness.   
   	   
   	- He likes the idea of being nutritious.   
   	   
   	- He proclaims himself not racist.  He judges people by the   
   color of their teeth.  He had a curious incident when he was quite young   
   with the tooth fairy, and confesses not knowing the implications of that   
   event.   
      
      
   Arctic Monkeys:   
   	From 'Favourite Worse Nightmare': I have no idea.  Pleasant   
   sound even if the lead guitarist seems to be getting ready for an   
   appearance on Zoom.   
   	http://www.amazon.com/Favourite-Worst-Nightmare-Arctic-Monkeys/dp/B000NQR7NO/   
   	   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)