From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Cavemen are at the show!  They just discovered fire ten minutes ago.   
   Max Is:   
   	- Adding a little something afterwards.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Miss New Jersey will not be punished for posing for   
   embarrassing photos.  Living with her title is punishment enough.   
   	   
   	- Iranian designers held a fashion show using Iranian models.   
   For the 5,000th year in a row, burquas are in.   
   	   
   	- Harrison Ford turned 65, a senior citizen officially.  You can   
   tell he's old; in the new Indiana Jones movie the giant boulder is his   
   own prostate.   
   	   
   	- P Diddy has broken up with Kim Borda.  Kim's upset and says   
   it's hard to believe she's never going to be Mrs P Puff Combs Porter   
   Diddy.   
   	   
   	- An Alaskan received four years of probation for cutting off   
   and selling 100 seal penises.  His sentence would be harsher but the   
   prosecution couldn't find a seal brave enough to testify against him.   
   	   
   	- A flight attendant kicked a mother and her baby off a plane as   
   the baby was too loud.  Then the attendant got on the intercom and   
   warned, ``Fat people -- you're next!''   
   	   
      
   Friday the 13th:   
   	- They didn't break mirrors, walk under ladders.  But it didn't   
   work -- the Evil Puppy is still here!  Do not be fooled by his cute   
   puppy-like gaze.  All right, he's pretty cute.   
      
      
   GE Phone System:   
   	- A stockholder is here!   
   	   
   	- Calling Conan O'Brien: There's more than one listing for Ed   
   O'Brien.   
   	   
   	- Meredith Viera: Mandy Vy.   
   	   
   	- Donald Trump: Sam Sludd.   
   	   
   	- The guy in the commissary who's always pouring sour cream into   
   his pants: Benjamin Hope.   
   	   
   	- o/` Desperado!  Why don't you come to your senses? o/`   To   
   handle, press star.   
   	   
   	- The bastard who designed this phone system: Nelson Hernandez.   
      
      
      
   Chuck Norris Octagon Lever:   
   	- He turns on the lights, and sees dead people all over, making   
   him think(?): ninja!   
   	   
   	- A woman wants to entice him into taking a personal interest in   
   things, which makes him stupid and her a whore.   
   	   
   	- Phone Call: ``That makes me stupid and you a whore'': Sammy   
   Tegusman.   
   	   
   	- Lineup -- someone steps forward, into the trap door.   
   	   
   	- Storage room -- a guy is strangled.   
   	   
   	- Lineup -- Mister Miyagi-ish guy threatens death, and the guy   
   climbs up from the trap door.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)