From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Jessica Biel:   
   	- Two years ago she was ``Sexiest Woman Alive''; they're   
   analyzing her body parts.  Getting crazy?   
   	   
   	- She doesn't like her ankles, but she does like her back.  Her   
   father was a swimmer; toned and muscular was always sexy to her.  She   
   hasn't looked in a mirror while flexing her back in a long time.  She   
   should try it.  She thinks her knuckles are fat.   
   	   
   	- Men don't talk to her; she thinks she casts her shyness.   
   	   
   	- She compares her real-life gay friends to the alleged comedy   
   of Adam Sandler's newest slop.   
   	   
   	- Does she use Halloween to dress abnormally sexy?  The hidden   
   hand of the pre-interview may be inferred here.  She prefers disgusting   
   costumes, like, two years ago, a serial-killing prom queen with awful   
   80s puffy dress.  She put cereal boxes and shoved knives in them.  Conan   
   orders ``French maid'' for next year.   
   	   
   	- She'll be directing her friend's giving birth.  She wants her   
   to film it and be the voice of reason.  She thinks it's going to be   
   great; she's got two cameras, lighting, she has to get it in one take   
   ... Conan can offer no advice; afterward, your mind will be wiped clean.   
    He couldn't speak for a year after.   
   	   
   	- The movie clip is silent.  Conan compliments the bravery of   
   the choice.  They try a second time, and there's still no sound.  They   
   try a third time and, alas, Adam Sandler explains how to turn on his   
   `husband'.   
      
      
   Old Time Radio Ghost:   
   	- His old introduction would probably sound old-fashioned and   
   corny.   
   	   
   	- 1933, for Roosevelt: Oh, they say that Roosevelt is quite a   
   guy/ but I say he's a no-good commie spy/ it's clear we've all been had/   
   he reports to Stalingrad/ so let's find the tallest tree and hang him   
   high/ lynch-y-de-Prez.  Things cooled down after they threw him in a   
   mine shaft.   
   	   
   	- Women should be seen but never heard/ we should gag 'em if   
   they ever say a word/ and if they claim that it's unfair/ we'll just   
   trap them in a snare/ and lock them in a cage like a bird/ prison-y-gal.   
    his Mother's Day song was Mothers Are Bad.   
   	   
   	- Oh, Irishmen get drunk inside the womb/ and they vomit every   
   time they leave the room/ they feed on dirt and grass/ and never wash   
   their [ krunk ]/ and use their bushy nosehairs as a broom/   
   nostril-y-sweep.   
      
      
      
   Artie Lange:   
   	- Biel and Lange appear to be from different species.  They   
   didn't talk backstage; they didn't allow him near.  Lange usually has to   
   follow, like, Chris Kattan, but he would enjoy sex with her.  He could   
   have Harry Potter ecstasy.   
   	   
   	- Does he still hang around with his New Jersey pals?  Biel was   
   born the year Lange got his first DUI.  His dumb friends were turned   
   into Fellini-esque movie critics by the end of the Sopranos.   
   	   
   	- He has a movie where he has to play a romance scene.  In an   
   earlier movie he thought Rene Zellwiger was connecting with him.  He   
   asked Chris O'Donnel if she were into him; he looked like she said   
   ``Next year I'm gonna try out to play center for the Knicks.''  He   
   mis-reads signs a lot.   
   	   
   	- The intimate scene for ``Rescue Me''  was all played for   
   comedy.  Stern fans are love-and-hate guys; they'll go up to him and say   
   he's a loser who'll die of heart disease, and can they get a photo?  So   
   he taped on gauze pads to avoid getting excited during the scene.  She   
   lays atop him; the cameraman's sweating; he can't get into it, but now,   
   after that, he's worried she'll think he has no penis.   
      
      
   The Cribs:   
   	- From Men's Needs, Women's Needs, Whatever: No idea what this   
   title might be.  ``Men's Needs'' or ``Women's Needs'' are sort of   
   plausible but the words do not seem to make up essential components of   
   the lyrics.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)