From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Service interruption advisory: I won't be able to do Friday's episode on   
   Friday.  I should get to it around Monday if I'm lucky.   
      
   Max Is:   
   	- Dressed like death, while Conan's dressed like the ice cream man.  Conan's   
   tie is by Starburst candy!   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Russia has started a territorial dispute with the United States, claiming   
   that it owns the North Pole.  Bush is furious: everyone knows it's owned by   
   Santa.   
   	   
   	- John McCain's campaign is going so badly he has to carry his own luggage on   
   the campaign trail.  Dennis Kuczinich's is going so badly he has to carry   
   Barack Obama's.   
   	   
   	- Mexican officials crossed the border into the United States to see how we   
   deal with immigration problems.  Once there, the officials yelled ``Psych!''   
   and fled to Los Angeles.   
   	   
   	- A Floridian named Harry Potter says he's constantly harassed by crank   
   calls.  He thinks most of them are coming from neighbor Joey Voldemort.   
   	   
   	- China will not show Rush Hour III because it's ``anti-Chinese''.  Later   
   they admit, it's not, it's just they've seen the first two.   
   	   
   	- A South Dakotan man has been arrested for stealing traffic signs and   
   masturbating on them.  Police arrested him and told the man, ``STOP means   
   STOP''.  Should yield ...   
   	   
      
   Ingmar Bergman's Girls Gone Wild:   
   	- He felt the need to keep up with latest trends, and made some mistakes,   
   like this from six months ago.   
   	   
   	- It's in the lonely style.  'Show me your breasts.'  'I can only show you   
   loneliness.'  'And despair.'  They show for Death, though.   
      
      
   Clutch Cargo Keith Richards:   
   	- He's signed a $7,000,000 deal to write his memoris . What'll be in it?   
      
   	- Hello, Conezy-ponezy.  It covers his entire life, and the twelve years   
   after that.  He's felt he had a book in him for a long time, since he smoked a   
   book.   
   	   
   	- He already has millions of dollars, but he doesn't remember where he put   
   it.  It's probably in a bank, but which one?  There's thousands of them all   
   over!  All he remembers is they gave him a calendar and when he left there was   
   vomit all over the    
   lobby.   
   	   
   	- He's putting all his memories down on paper.  Here's an excerpt: ``I was   
   born in 1943.  This morning I had pancakes.'' There's an epilogue:   
   ``Epilogue.  I threw up the pancakes.''   
   	   
   	- He'll do a book-on-tape.  He's already recording it.  Here's an excerpt:   
   ``New Year's Eve, 1964.  We was playing the crawdaddy club when ... (thump)   
   zzzzzz (hacking cough).''   
   NBC's Made-For-TV Movie About Rupert Murdoch's Media Empire Casting:   
   	- Sean Hannity: Nathan Lane.   
   	   
   	- Greta van Sustren: Tom Petty.   
   	   
   	- Jeff Zucker: Boss Hogg.   
   	   
   	- Rupert Murdoch: Grampa Simpson.   
   	   
   	- Sumner Redstone: A 6000-year-old mummy.   
   	   
   	- Robert Novak: Statler from the Muppets.   
   	   
   	- Bill O'Reilley: Emperor Palpatine.   
   	   
   	- Steve Forbes: Tootsie.   
   	   
   	- Alan Colmes: That Creepy Nazi Guy Whose Face Gets Melted Off In Raiders   
   From The Lost Ark.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)