From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   String Dance!   
   Max Is:   
   	- Struggling through a 30-year puberty.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Barry Bonds hit his 756th home run.  Afterward, he celebrated by injecting   
   champagne into his rear.  (Craig Ferguson did this joke too.)   
   	   
   	- Last night Bush did not call Bonds, but today did make the call.  Bush   
   realized he had a rare opportunity to talk to the only guy in the country less   
   popular than he is.   
   	   
   	- Hillary Clinton intends to reach out to health care employees by working a   
   shift as a nurse.  Bill Clinton says this will ruin the plot of his favorite   
   porn movie.   
   	   
   	- An Arkansas couple had its 17th child.  The other 16 children threw their   
   father a surprise ``We Get It, You're Not Gay'' party.   
   	   
   	- A New York City politician has proposed a bill banning the word b----.    
   This explains why rappers have started saying, 'Shut up, you ovulating lady   
   dog.'   
   	   
   	- The Food and Drug Administration says the fat-blocking drug Alli can cause   
   gas and loose stools, so now it must be labelled, ``This drug is safe *and*   
   hilarious!''   
      
      
   Quackers The Duck!   
   	- He's weirdly popular even though he just walks in.  Who cares if they don't   
   have an idea?  So open the door and have Quackers walk in.  Quackers is not a   
   fan of this program.  They don't have an idea, but Quackers ... has something   
   coming out.  That    
   it tastes.  Ew.  Some mysterious person threatens to take Quackers, but the   
   audience wants him kept.  Conan accidentally hits the reverb on his microphone.   
      
      
   Late Night 2008 Beijing Olympics Small Talk Moment   
   	+ Olympics Promotion Starts Today.  It's going to be a long year.   
   	   
   	- Conan brings up Beijing and a duck walks in.   
   	   
   	- Max thinks that's hardly enough time.  This goes on for a while.  Max says   
   the game is 365 days away, but I think he'll find it's actually 366 days.    
   Leap year, remember.   
      
      
   Tad at AT&T Park:   
   	- He's there.  What was it like being at the game?  Totally great.  There's a   
   time delay, and he's slow to describe events.  He'll be ready anytime now.    
   When you're ready.  He can't hear Conan.  Conan walks from his panel to the   
   other.  And he plays    
   with the seam between inset images.   
      
      
   Chinese Food Delivery:   
   	- It's for Max.  They've got really good pork dumplings.  There's none for   
   Conan.   
   	   
   	Don't be silly, Conan/ don't be sore/ it's just a little dumpling/ nothing   
   more/ yet inside me a passion grows/ a desire, a feeling I never chose/ o   
   dumpling yes dumpling/ I am love.   
   	   
   	( Hey pumpkin head/ I heard you crying.  You sound like little girl/ in   
   process of dying.  I bring you special delicious treat.  Act like man, and I   
   let you eat.  )   
   	   
   	( You mock me and that is wrong.  )   
   	   
   	( No, here's a dumpling, or my name's not Hong.  )   
   	   
   	( Dumpling? )   
   	   
   	( Dumpling. )   
   	   
   	( DUMPLING!!! )   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)