From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   String Dance!  He loves the ill-timed woo.   
   NBC Logo:   
   	- No Olympic Rings this time.   
   	   
   Max Is:   
   	- Making a little ``hmph'' sound afterwards.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- A gay rights group sponsored a Democratic candidates debate to discuss gay   
   issues.  Dennis Kuzcynich may be desperate; he showed up wearing all leather.    
   Because gay people love leather.   
   	   
   	- Bush's father is upset when people tell him his son is doing a bad job.  He   
   said, ``After sixty years you'd think I'd be used to it.''  Because George W   
   Bush is staggeringly anti-competent.   
   	   
   	- Bush's physical revealed that last year he got a rash from a tick bite.    
   Bill Cinton said, ``A rash from a tick bite?  I'll have to remember that   
   one.''  Because Bill Clinton has sex a lot.   
   	   
   	- The National Weather Service confirmed a tornado did touch down in   
   Brooklyn.  No one was injured, but the tornado got itself seriously f'ed-up.    
   Because people in Brooklyn routinely assault strangers.   
   	   
   	- Halle Barry fights off cellulite by rubbing coffee grounds on her thighs.    
   Doctors say they have no idea if it's effective, but they'd love to watch.    
   Because doctors are all heterosexual males.   
   	   
   	- Residents of a small Mississippi town have been reporting a kangaroo on the   
   loose.  They describe it as ``a squirrel so big you'd have to eat it in two   
   sittings.''  Because deep southerners can view animals in no terms other than   
   how they would eat    
   them.   
   	   
   	- Kevin Federline will request primary custody of his two children from   
   Britney Spears.  Spears said she'd be glad to give the kids to Federline, but   
   she can't remember where she left them.  Because Spears is an idiot.   
      
      
   13th Annual Audiencey Awards Again!   
   	+ It's been six weeks since the last 13th Annual Audiencey Awards.  Chastity   
   presents the lone statue.   
   	   
   	- Best Impression of a Celebrity: 3-F for Karl Rove.   
   	   
   	- Impression: 9-F, Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite.   
   	   
   	- Audience Member Whose Inner Thoughts Don't Match Their Outward Appearance:   
   6-K.  Kill, kill them all, bathe in their blood, dance in their graves.  Kill,   
   kill them all.  Wear their flesh as a garment.   
   	   
   	- How the Award is Made: Fit a toy chair on a can of tuna fish, stick a G I   
   Joe on that, tape it with duct tape, spray it with gold paint.  Boom.   
   	   
   	- Audience Member With Strongest Head: 10-D.  He's strong enough to take   
   being whapped with a wrench.  He makes a bicep to show the strength of his   
   head.   
   	   
   	- He Shouldn't Be Thinking That While He's Sitting Next To His Wife Award:   
   13-B.  He's thinking of some music video about thrusting breasts.  Conan takes   
   time to think of it too.   
   	   
   	- Studio Audience That Can Cheer Wildly, See Themselves In An Overhead TV   
   Monitor, And Point At Themselves While Continuing To Cheer: Tonight's studio   
   audience wins it!   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)