From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   The Interrupter:   
   	- How did he even (get into the studio)?  I hope you didn't (hit   
   the security guard with a sock full of Corn Flakes)?  Was he knocked out   
   (by the eye-watering stench of the sock)?   
   	   
   	- Why not (spend the day at the zoo)?  Unless you're no longer   
   (welcome at the zoo)?  I hope it doesn't have something to do with   
   (fondling a sea turtle)?   
   	   
   	- You probably don't (have a very active dating life).  You   
   spent the last Saturday (shrieking at God behind an Outback steakhouse).   
    Wow, that's (profoundly bleak).  I bet your parents (fought a lot),   
   which isn't (uncommon with siblings).  That explains why he's (such a   
   psychotic).   
   	   
   	- But why does he (dress like this)?  He looks like some kind of   
   (18th century cross-dresser), but he makes acutal ones look (pretty   
   butch in comparison).   
   	   
   	- He probably likes to (pee sitting down) because he was (born   
   with an inverted penis), which Conan has never (heard of), which would   
   technically (be a vagina), unless it was (something completely   
   unprecedented in the history of humanity.   
   	   
   	- I can't imagine you (finding steady employment) other than   
   (selling my kidneys to black-market organ rings).  How could someone   
   (sell off both kidneys) as you (need one to live), unless you (use a   
   discarded orange juicer as a makeshift dialysis machine).   
   	   
   	- I hope you at least (got some good money) unless you just   
   (traded them for some old TV guides and a forged autograph of Glen   
   Campbell.)  (Wow, that's) pretty pathetic.  (Maybe I'll just) run along   
   now.  (If you need me I'll) be showing a sea turtle your inverted penis.   
      
      
      
   - Krazy Kat bumper.   
      
      
   Mary-Kate Olsen:   
   	- Full House ended 13 years ago, blowing Conan's mind.  But it's   
   on air around the world constantly.  Does she watch it?  The other day   
   her sister spent the night and she heard her watching the show,   
   enthusiastic.  Her alarm clock's not set to the Full House theme.   
   	   
   	- She's followed by tabloid photographers.  Sometimes they must   
   mix up her and her sister.  There was ``who's dying today'', ``who's   
   anorexic''.  They'd mix up photos.  Does she ever get upset at Ashley   
   and see her with a bag she hates, or then go out and rob a bank so she   
   gets arrested?  No, but she'll make reservations she'll say she's   
   Ashley.  Most of the time.  This will end in credit fraud.   
   	   
   	- Why do they always find her at Starbucks?  It's the only time   
   they're out and around in public.  It makes her look like a caffeine   
   addict.   
   	   
   	- She's always loved coffee.  She got little cups from her   
   mother as a child. When she was naughty she'd take it up to the   
   playroom.  Or get it herself from Baskin-Robins.   
   	   
   	- She lives in New York City, having a normal life ... she's   
   also Mary-Kate Olsen with obsessed guys.  Do they ever ask her out?   
   Occasionally, but they say weird things, like, ``Could I make you tomato   
   soup?''  Conan respects that approach.  She was ready to say, ``I love   
   tomato soup'', but didn't.  She's pregnant.   
   	   
   	- In her movie she plays a Christian who smokes a lot of pot,   
   but rationalizes it.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)